~ My Unfinished Daze ~

4/52 - Unexpected Perspective

2012-01-27T07:32:00.000-06:00

I know, last week was listed as 2/32 but I went back and counted because this week simply didn't seem like it should be 3. I forgot to label week 2, and so this is week 4. This week's themes from Paint the Moon were Unexpected Perspective or Sparkle.

I thought to myself, "I live in a house of boys," and therefore thought Unexpected Perspective would be easier. Maybe it was, but that didn't make it easy in itself. After reading her tutorial on shooting from a different perspective I thought I would like to do a storyboard idea as well, but apparently my brain can only hold onto one new idea at a time.

I'm still not sure about the final result. I took pictures of my dog, cups on the counter, and various pictures of this shot from various angles. I ended up with this one, thinking it was one I wouldn't have taken, therefore unexpected. I was also able to get him to sit for the picture since his face wasn't visible. In looking at this picture now, I wonder if it would have been better if I had gotten him to look up and back at me? Though, I am afraid that would have made him look younger. If I had been able to take him out for his birthday pictures I would have taken one looking up at him. I think he would have liked that. With trees around him tall as well. Maybe next week.

Thank you Paint the Moon for your inspiration!

Comments

2012-01-26T09:07:00.001-06:00

I didn't know it was an option! Now, I do.

I changed the comments so that I can reply to you IN the comments.

You can reply to other comments too!

I appreciate each and every comment I get here in my own little unfinished world, but I haven't been able to respond like I would like up to this point. I tried responding in the comment section, but it was never clear to whom I was responding. I would respond through email, but not everyone has their identity hooked up to their email. Now I will be able to respond to all you lovelies directly in the comment section, and you'll be able to respond to each other as well! Thank you so much for sticking around, bearing with me, sharing your thoughts, and bringing encouragement. I really appreciate you all!!

Ps. If there is anyone out there lurking, take this as your personal invite gilded in gold and silver for you to come out and share your thoughts too. I know, de-lurking day was a week or so ago, but let's follow number ten on my goals for the year. Let's start over now, together!

Quilt Binding Refresher

2012-01-25T06:30:00.000-06:00

I should have refreshed my mind before I bound these quilts, but I went with what I remembered. Now I wish I had taken a little bit of time before hand because I realized my mistakes which caused such sad sad corners on my two little lap quilts that I made.

Touch of Caramel

This is the quilt I shared two weeks ago. I ended up using a dark brown to bind, but it pulled that color out of the plaid so I felt it worked. As you can see on the back of this one I learned a little bit about centering. If I don't use an entire piece of material for the back I have to be more careful about how I design the back. The little green edge didn't show quite as well on all four sides, and the green edge shows my "not straight lines" on the binding very well. Lessons learned.

Sunshine & Blueskies

This was the second quilt that I pieced and I like the background material I found for it. The lessons I learned on this quilt was to make sure all the squares are FULLY squares because what you think will get caught up in the hems may not and then you end up with a hole in the top. I fixed the errors, but knowing they are there make my heart a little sad.

My youngest has claimed "Touch of Caramel" and it does match his room fairly well. If I had known it was going in there the caramel would have been tossed and I would have gone with a gray or black. As it is the lighter colors lighten his room a little, and the greens and blues match.

Now, for the binding errors which made my corners a little frankenstine-ish. I figured out what I did wrong, it's amazing what a 1/4 seam in the wrong place can do, but so that you don't make the same mistake I did I want to share this great tutorial that I found over at Crazy Mom Quilts. She did a great job of showing how to bind a quilt, and makes it look so easy. It is, if you follow her steps, which I will next time.

One would think after the number of quilts I have done that I wouldn't make these type of mistakes, but it goes to show you that refreshers have their place with everything.

We All Need Reminders: Be You

2012-01-24T06:30:00.000-06:00

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” (Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson)

A friend shared this quote on her blog last week. It came in a timely fashion, as most things seem to when you are looking for them. I was in the midst of thinking I needed to find someone to spur me on, encourage me, support me, show me which direction to go. But I knew the truth, I simply needed to be reminded.

The truth is that while we are all so very similar, and there are threads of familiarity that connect us all in a wide variety of ways, no one is exactly like any of us. No one can write like Anne, with her gentle voice and lovely pictures. No one can write like Nicole, with her stories that carry you along. No one can write like Anne who puts it out there just like she sees it. Three different authors who are tied by words and share some beliefs but are so very different in the carrying it out in their lives. Each one beautiful and unique, each one familiar and shared.

I have known so many women in my life. Some friends, some acquaintances, some who never knew me, but all so talented each in their own way. Some I have known write. Poems, blogs, books, devotionals. Some I know work with yarn. Teaching, creating, writing. Some I knew kept journals, whether with words, art, pencil, or pictures. Some take pictures of people, cars, birds, and rainbows. Two different women in my life have gone back to school recently, but with totally different directions. They have all shared things and yet they were all unique. Beautiful women each bringing something different to my life, and yet shared something with so many as well.

There was a time that I thought I needed to be exactly like these women in my life and those whose paths crossed mine. There was a time where I didn't understand that I could be uniquely me and share likes, dislikes, beliefs, ideas with others. Or it seemed that one choice had to be better than the other so it was a competition. It seemed like a complex idea to be the same and different and equal that I simply couldn't grasp, but which I have slowly learned over the many years. You would think I would have gotten it by now, I know, but I am glad to say my fingers are nearly fully around the idea.

I love the fact that I can share the same soil with so many, but the seed I plant will grow into it's own beauty and strength and offerings. Don't try to make what you have be just like what others have. Don't compare your offerings to others. Enjoy the similarities but thrill in the differences. We don't know what we can truly offer until we do.

15.

2012-01-23T07:37:00.000-06:00

We celebrated my youngest turning 15 last weekend.

Fifteen years ago my mother was visiting with us, and my oldest was getting ready to turn three.

Fifteen years ago we were blessed with a new addition to our family.

It's funny to think of where we were 15 years ago and where we are now.

We have all changed and grown and taken paths we never envisioned.

Of course, the one that has changed the most was the one born 15 years ago.

Celebrations don't always happen on the right day. Too many schedules, too many people with birthdays. But this way it's an extended celebration. He asked for Gram's amazing hamburgers for supper, and a chocolate chocolate cake with white icing for his dessert. So simple and so scrumptious. He will get to choose again when the day comes around as well, and as cards start to roll in he will be reminded of how special he is.

Fire and Ice. That's the best way to describe him. Sensitive and thoughtful. Creative and imaginative. Loyal and true. He takes after us all and is his own individual. More and more. Orange belt. Gun fanatic. Lego fiend. Book lover. Xbox player. Friend. Brother. Son.

The pictures turned out blurry, but there was laughter which caused that.

The presents turned out perfect, appreciated and not expected.

The love poured out in the room.

The joy was shared by all, present and not.

And we celebrated, and will continue do so.

15.

I know, it happens day by day.

Learn to Concentrate

2012-01-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

I want to thank you for your kind comments in the recent posts. I am especially fond of my little squirrel friend, no he has no name, but he does visit regularly. I wonder what he will do to my future garden, but that is then and for now I will appreciate the times he comes to visit me. And as far as the knots, I love the shared analogy that the knots help us hang on to the rope better. This week I have been hanging, but I hope to get ready to start climbing again.

This weeks chapter in the book was about learning how to concentrate. The author gave an example of how he worked at home and had to learn to focus on his writing and not the kids playing outside. Of course, that's not how it has worked out in my life this week.

Concentrate::

to come to or toward a common center; converge;

to become more intense, stronger, or purer

I have decided that we all think we are becoming "more ourselves" every once in a while because we are simply getting to know ourselves better or differently after a period of time. It seems that we go through different seasons in our life, and I believe that is how it should be. Prior to this past year my favorites were not known to me as well as the favorites of my kids. They have been nearly my singular focus since the day the oldest was born, and in a few days the youngest will be 15. I ask myself, how did we get here? The answer is: in a very natural way, day by day.

I have talked before how this year is going to be one full of changes. And I talked recently about subtracting things from my life. I want to clarify that the things that I removed are not necessarily bad things. I simply learned back when my children were babies that I could not do it all. I have done different things at different times as they have been growing up, but never did I think that I should put everything on my check list. So this is another time, for it has happened many times, where I needed to subtract things in my life.

Think of it as what I said when I talked about my goals for the new year. I started out as one, broke it out to bigger and more, then narrowed it again to see where I was. It was a concentration of me. I think this is why I feel a little squeezed right now. As I mentioned in my knots post, there is a lot going on now, a lot I'm worrying about for tomorrow, and a lot letting go of yesterday.

Most days I am at the point that I am with my squirrel friend. I enjoy today and don't worry about tomorrow. Some todays are hard enough anyway. But regardless of what I am working on, regardless of how I feel about yesterday and/or tomorrow, and regardless of what I have let go or picked up, all of this is showing me who I am.
I don't remember the quote right now, but in the back of my mind sits a thought that hardships, troubles, complications may not bring the best out in us, but they bring the truth out in us. Who am I that is showing up? Honestly, some I don't like much, and some I'm okay with. I have also seen who I used to be, and how far I have come.

In the past I would have quit out of frustration by now, but I haven't. In the past I would have looked for someone new to affirm my direction; I haven't. In the past I would have regretted some hard decisions, and changed them simply to make life easier on others, but I haven't. In the past I would have come up with excuses to do what I want to do, but I haven't. In the past I would have forgotten my original goal, but I haven't.

I have been weak, and weepy, and fearful but I have stayed on course. And while I know I have much to learn and many areas to grow, it seems that the concentration of me isn't so bad after all. And for that I am grateful.

I may wax nostalgic from time to time, or post about my worries for the future, because those things are there. But I'm living this life the best way I can, and it seems that I'm doing okay. Some days great, some days not so much, but all in all: okay. After all, I'm getting there in the most natural way possible: day by day.

2/52 - White Space

2012-01-20T07:47:00.002-06:00

The themes for PainttheMoon.net's week were white space or everyday tools. With the amazing post she wrote on white space and the positioning of the subject I wanted to play with that idea and ended up taking quite a few pictures this go round. It's one of the first times I thought about both of those, without it being a portrait. This picture of my squirrel friend was one of the last pics I took and one of my most favorite of the entire bunch.

These were the first pictures I took. I was watching the window replacer across the street through my window and was amazed at how blue the sky was. And then I saw my poor little tree with it's little buds sprouting before it's time. I wonder what will happen when spring really comes. I knew I had to go out and take a few pictures before the next freeze kills them. I like the way the upper branches in the first picture were out of focus, but I think the branch in the second picture is better placement. I think.

The next shot was of my lunch on Wednesday. I wanted a white space background that was dark. It seemed ironic and fun in some way. Remember, I'm new at this.

And then came the pictures of my squirrel friend on Thursday. I played with the placement of him in the shot, and the angle of the roof, as in the first and last are parallel to the frame, but the rest are more accurate to real life. He sat so nicely for so long while I took the shots. My favorite was the one I caught where he was looking right at me, at the top of the page. Truly, I do love it. Mostly because I don't feel as if I had a thing to do with it. I simply feel lucky to have been the one to take that picture.

Thank you Paintthemoon.net for your inspiration!

The Knot and The Squirrel

2012-01-19T10:26:00.000-06:00

Starting out can be so frustrating sometimes. Starting over can sometimes feel downright defeating. I drew this picture of a knot, yes that's what it is. It was supposed to represent how I am feeling these days.

Pulled in a variety of directions, the knot slowly tightening. Getting smaller with each pull. Spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, educationally, relationally. It seems I am facing hurdles and struggles in every direction that life could possibly throw at me. What I have been doing is fighting a lot in a variety of directions to learn to be stronger, better, firmer. And you know what, it's been hard.

I can not seem to remember my one memory verse for Tae Kwon Do when I am standing in the group.
There is something inside of me that freaks out a little when I have to do the self defense moves.
We have fourish months left before the job is done and my faith is growing to trust that no matter what we will be okay.
I am trying to learn more about subjects which I don't know a lot about.
I am trying to keep my actions and words in a positive spin.

Sometimes it simply feels as if it is too much at one time.

But then I looked out my window and I saw my squirrel friend. He sat on the roof of the neighbor's house long enough for me to grab my camera and take a few shots (which you will see tomorrow). I don't know what one has to do with the other, but in that process I realized that when the rope is knotted it becomes stronger. A rope full of knots is bigger, thicker, and stronger than a single straight rope. Or at least, that's what makes sense in my brain.

So, as the knots keep getting pulled tighter, as I learn more and step out in new directions, and as I trust the unknown what I need to keep in mind is that it's not bad. It's simply strengthening. And thankfully I get a few moments of respite in between the pulls.

Subtracting

2012-01-18T08:13:00.001-06:00

Ali Edwards has turned her weekly newsletter into weekly inspiration. I'm so glad I never unsubbed when she wasn't using it very often. I love her work, but the consistent scrapping bug has not lived here in many years. The inspiration she sends out, however, does not have to do with only scrapping. For instance, this past week it was about subtracting.

It's funny. Once the Christmas flurry of crafting was done I came to a bit of a stand still. My brakes were on. For at least a week or two I did nothing, and it was just what was needed. When you finish a big meal you have to push away from the table before you want any more food. This is where I was, without even knowing it. I simply needed a break so that when I came back to the table I was ready to digest some more.

Though, inspiration had to cut back as well, for that is a meal in itself. I was looking, and thinking, and planning, and dreaming but there comes a limit before you forget everything and sit numbly considering.

Now that I am starting to pick things back up slowly I realize that some of what I have done in the past simply isn't where I should be, or need to be. But there are some things that I am exploring more, and I love it. Through my subtraction I was able to add. I love math.

One of the things that I have not done ever on a regular basis is draw, but I picked the pencil up in the last week. What I really want to do more of is journal, which really may lead me back to a type of scrapping. I believe this is the start of that, but we shall see. I'm trying to simply do the next thing I feel without having to know where it will end up. That is probably the biggest thing subtracted from my life recently, but the hardest removal. It requires a lot of deep breaths.

Parmesan Rolls (Easy!)

2012-01-17T08:04:00.002-06:00

I am no Julia Child or Pioneer Woman but I absolutely love to cook. Last night I thought to myself one of the things I wish I had done with my munchkin more was to pull them into the kitchen and make them cook with me. My biggest problem is that so often I don't know exactly what I am doing from the get go, and yes I do meal plan. I simply change things up a lot as I get into whatever recipe I have going.

I'm still trying to put bread on the table for every meal, though sometimes it simply doesn't happen. I try to pick things up from the store which are easy and don't require a lot of forthought, because I don't always have that. Last grocery trip I had purchased a bag of dinner rolls out of the deli, but I wanted something with a little flavor for the spaghetti dinner, and so, my Parmesan rolls were born.

Ingredients:: 1 bag of rolls (about 12 in the bag but can use as many as you need), melted butter, Garlic powder, Kosher salt, Cracked pepper, Parmesan cheese

Directions:: Line a cookie sheet with foil and place the number of rolls you are preparing on the sheet. Mix the garlic powder into the melted butter, and brush on top of each roll. Sprinkle the salt, pepper, and cheese on top of the rolls. Place in an oven at 350 degrees for 10 minutes, enough for the cheese to melt. Serve warm.

They really were yummy, and all eight that I made were gobbled right up. We are a bread loving family, but this little addition made the rolls so much better than straight out of the bag and it was so quick! I just knew I had to share.

The little red bird

2012-01-16T09:31:00.001-06:00

God made the forests, the tiny stars, and the wild winds--and I think that he made them partly as a balance for that kind of civilization that would choke the spirit of joy out of our hearts. He made the great open places for the people who want to be alone with him and talk to him, away from the crowds that kill all reverence. And I think that he is glad at times to have us forget our cares and responsibilities that we may be nearer him--as Jesus was when he crept away into the wilderness to pray.

MARGARET ELIZABETH SANGSTER, "The Gypsy Spirit"

The other day the boys and I were driving home from running errands. It was a regular day, we did regular things, and we took our regular path. We didn't expect anything out of the ordinary, but maybe that's when we should expect out of the ordinary.

As we were nearing our neighborhood, I noticed a bright red cardinal on the side of the road. He was sitting in the grassy area, next to the road. He was so bright, and in a world of muted browns and grays he stood out brightly. I pointed him out to my oldest, and smiled. However, youngest didn't see him.

I stopped the car, and wondered what the chances would be. I looked behind and ahead and no other car was coming in either direction. I put the car in reverse and came to a stop next to the little bird. Youngest was able to look out the window and see the bird perfectly. Not until he had done so did the little bird jump away and fly into the trees where he wasn't quite as obvious.

It was a thrill of the day to see the little bird. To be reminded that there are always flashes of joy that you don't expect if you look for it. And the fact that I stopped the car, threw it into reverse, and helped youngest see the bird was something new too. In the past I have told both boys too often that they simply missed the opportunity. Maybe we don't really miss the opportunity when we think we have.

Think... well?

2012-01-14T06:22:00.000-06:00

The moonlight came through

without even bothering to knock

The moon was huge and overpowering

it wouldn't be denied or dismissed

But somethings in life are more obscure

point of view

perspective

context

attitude

We can see our own

but seeing another

is like hunting for snipe

trying to catch a tornado

watching water boil

Clap three times

Turn in a circle

Tap your Heels

There's no place like home.

There's no magical word.

There's no potion or spell.

It's a choice.

The sun rose in the morning

visible and making life visible

the moon showed itself

the sun showed everything else

The chapter this week was about thinking well. It gave a 5 step process to solving problems. I didn't like the list because I know my limitations, but that doesn't mean I can't work on being better. Too often I am the moon, sure of myself and what I am doing with no concern for others. I want to be more like the sun, and shine light everywhere. I want to see others. I know that there is no magical formula, superb checklist, or order of steps that will make everything go smoothly. I want to know that each situation is it's own, with it's own outside forces, ebbs and flows, personalities and baggage. I want to face each problem not as a solution to be found, but as life to be lived.

Maybe it's all semantics, I'll give you that.

But sometimes what we are looking for is exactly what we will find.

Open

2012-01-13T06:30:00.000-06:00

I drove out of town. I had no idea where I was going, but simply got on a street and went. The munchkin were with me, the music was playing, and we passed very few cars. I wanted to get out into the great open spaces. In my mind's eye I there was a field of beige without a fence around it waiting for me.

If it is out there it is still waiting. This is the point where I turned back. I don't know how far I drove, nor where we ended up, but I took a picture in three directions of the space I found on top of a hill. There were trees behind me. Maybe more trips like this and I will learn the area better.

Thank you, Paint the Moon, for your challenge.

Choosing Happy

2012-01-12T07:00:00.000-06:00

I woke up in a funk, with the blues wrapped around me tighter than my sheets. I hid from the world, trying to avoid those I loved for a little bit longer, just until I could face the sunlight as it rose.

In the past this attutide would color my view of the entire day. It would shade my interactions with others. It would cause me to turn to things that didn't help. It might stay for a day or two, in it's strongest state.

This day I fought what had defeat me any other day. I chose to turn towards different things instead of that which never helped in the past. Food and purchases were exchanged for colored pencils and cameras. Staying indoors went by the wayside, and instead we drove. Just drove.

Responsibilities did not get ignored, and laughter eventually bubbled out. Sometimes it's all about making little changes to bring about big results.

The funk flew away, the lightness returned, and I was grateful for a day I chose happy.

A few shots

2012-01-11T06:30:00.000-06:00

The question is, how do you pose an afghan so that it looks its best in pictures?

I have been making lots of afghans lately, and I like sharing the way the final outcome turns out, usually at Flickr and Ravelry. I have taken some pictures of a couple of afghans hanging from a rope with clothespins, which is excellent for displaying quilts. For my ripple quilts, however, it has a tendency to make the ripples look mishapen. So, with my latest afghan, A River Runs Through previously Stormy Skies, I decided to try taking pictures in a variety of places to compare.

This is my more traditional way of displaying my afghans. My problem with this shot is if you don't get right in the middle of the blanket it looks mishapen. One end looks smaller than the other, which is simply a perspective issue, but not such a great way to display the blanket. Plus, depending on the size of the blanket it can be difficult to get the entire thing one shot.

This is an example I thought of trying, but I'm not so sure about how it turned out. I took out the perspective issue, but I still have a problem if the blanket is longer than the camera shot. I can only back off so long before I end up with a banner sized picture.

I have done this shot a variety of times. My extra room has splendid lighting, and it's my favorite place to take pictures when possible. There really isn't necessarily anything wrong with this shot and I think it shows the colors off splendidly. However, if the stripes were going the other direction, which normally they do, then the top stripes wouldn't be displayed.

A spare thought had me draping the quilt over a stool in the extra room, but I didn't like the way this one came out at all. Of course, I will have to keep the dog's out of the pictures, but Alex is visiting and wanted to make sure his mommy and daddy knew he was doing well.

This is similar to the clothes pin, but draped over the door it doesn't mishape the ripples. My problem with this shot is that if is it wider than the door it wont hang right. For narrow ones, as this one is, it would work.

Across the back of the couch is lovely, because it seems that's where you would find an afghan, but the light in this room doesn't seem to look as good. Everything is a little darker, which could easily be fixed with some altering of the shot, of course. The biggest problem with this shot is not being able to see the top few stripes due to them being flipped over the back of the couch.

These last two shots are the what-was-I-thinking-it's-getting-cold-out-here. Okay, it's not that cold outside in reality, but there will be days when there is snow on the ground or the sky isn't as blue, and then I can't know how those shots will come out. This one with me facing the sun left too many shadows on the blanket.

This one was better, though I had to make sure my shadow wasn't on the blanket or in the picture. What I liked about this shot is that you can see the texture a little more though it needs a little more work to see all the colors and stripes.

Obviously, these aren't the only shots that can work with an afghan, and they each have different pros and cons. It may simply be a matter of taking a variety of shots for each afghan I do in order to get the best shot for it on the day that I am taking its picture. But it was fun to look at these different ideas and to see what I came up with. The only idea I didn't try was with the afghan wrapped around someone, and neither of the boys were up for that. Maybe I can borrow inchworm sometime. A baby always makes a picture turn out better.

An Indoor Snowball Fight

2012-01-09T08:56:00.001-06:00

Picture taken by my brother in law.

I watched a video yesterday of a young girl trying to get her start in the music business. She was good, and I wish her all the luck, but the reason I watched the video was because it was filmed in my high school's hometown. It's been ages since I have visited so I was a little hungry to see what I remembered. A few things, the beach and piers, brought memories back of Home Coming and long walks, but a few shots had me wondering where it was truly filmed. Isn't that the case with memories? We will remember it in our own way with our own point of view. My goal is to make notes of my memories with a good slant, and it starts with a snowball fight.

Our family started a white elephant gift exchange a few years ago. Something to do after we eat Christmas dinner, because we open the Christmas gifts in the morning. There were a few times I failed miserably at the gift giving for this occasion, even one year writing an "IOU" note for a gift I forgot. I know, call me Queen Lame! But this year I wanted to make sure I did better. I set out to make some gifts that might be desired, or stolen even.

One of the gifts I made was an Indoor Snowball Fight. I loved the idea when I saw it on Pinterest, but they were sold out even if I had wanted to buy them. So, I set about finding a good tutorial on how to make a ball, purchased some fuzzy white material, and sat in front of the sewing machine for a bit. I found a great little basket to put the snowballs in, but it turned out that mine were huge, and I ended up with 10. I wondered if it was too much, but I generally go with my mistakes and love them as much as my plans so I wrapped everything up, put a label on the basket, and hoped it went well.

It couldn't have gone better. I loved every minute of it. All I could think was it had gone better than I planned.

After all the gifts had been opened, and the laughter shared by all, someone threw the first snowball. I'm not even sure who the guilty part was. The above picture was taken early in, because my brother-in-law, sister, and parents all were diving around the room and hiding behind walls during the fight. The room wasn't ginormous, but it was full of people diving, hiding, and laughing. My boys were laughing, Captain ended up falling on someone in the craziness (I think our youngest), and I know I ended up with a snowball in the face once or twice. I didn't dress appropriately for a snowball fight, so I tried to stay on the sidelines taking pictures, which none turned out well at all. I should have just dove in the best I could! My brother and sister-in-law were busy stealing the snowballs and hiding them under their daughter. They cracked me up! You can see they have numerous ones already in the picture, though I think some were carefully stolen back as the fight progressed. The winner? I would say all of us.

I absolutely loved this moment from our Christmas. So much laughter and fun. We all had full bellies and had finished watching Jim Carrey's Christmas Carol. We had shared presents, stolen presents, and eaten candy. And then the evening finished with the Snowball Fight. Truly, it was a great time I want to always remember.

Think

2012-01-07T07:39:00.001-06:00

Source: topbibleverses.tumblr.com via Stacey on Pinterest

The first chapter in Rules to Live By: 52 Principals for a Better Life was about thinking. The author spoke about how we think, whether it be analytically, creatively, or two other ways. As with other lessons, this one did not come alone. Through a fiction book I just finished, and a discussion with my mama I realized that for me it's not necessary to know how I think in such a manner. Rather, what's important for me is how I think in regards to someone or something.

The difference? I may be able to analyze a situation and see it for how I believe it is, but if I only focus on the negatives of that situation, that's all I will see. In the story I read a younger man was telling his car passenger about his parents, and began with a story as to how horrible they were. A little later in the drive the younger man told a fond story of his family. The passenger in the car asked him why he thought of the negative first. This idea struck me soundly, because I know why I do that.

I tell the negative story first to justify my anger towards someone. I remind myself of all the bad because I don't want anyone to get away with anything. Truth be told, as I have heard repeatedly many times, this is just a form of unforgiveness and it only hurts me.

If I start out with the positive does it make the negative go away? No. It does, however, change my focus. It helps me release some of that anger. Some of the hurt. But, can I say, this is NOT easily done. At least not this week. Not that anything special happened this week, I simply mean that while I received the lesson this week, I have not fully learned how to live it out.

I have known Philippians 4:8 since I was a little girl, but I never applied it to situations or people in my life. Everyone will disappoint you. Bad things will happen. But that does not mean that everything is all of a sudden negative. I guess that's the point behind the gratitude journals, and One Thousand Gifts. There is good everywhere and in everyone, and so to keep your eyes open for the gift that God brings in the hard times and through the hard people is what keeps us thankful in all things. It helps us see with different eyes. It helps us think about life differently.

So, as I move forward I hope to keep this lesson close to my heart. I'm going to work on how I think about people and situations. I'm going to remember that there is good if I choose to see it.

1/52

2012-01-06T08:18:00.000-06:00

I came across Paint the Moon through Pinterest. Someone linked to her 52 week challenge and I was smitten. I do not even have Photoshop, but I loved the themes that I saw. On really good creative weeks you can take them and run, and on weeks that just aren't so you can do as you feel. I like flexibility.

I got a new to me camera this past Christmas from a very generous soul (thanks daddy!) and I am bound and determined to learn more about how it works. It is far and above more complicated than my point and shoot, but I can point and shoot with it too. It seems a shame, however, not to learn about all that it can do one shot at a time.

I have tried to do the picture a day, testified to at my flicker, but I failed miserably on follow through for the entire year, testified to at my flicker. I thought that one picture a week would be a better possibility. So, this is where I am starting.

This week's challenge was either sharing or natural. I wanted to come up with some really great idea for the picture, but was at a loss. I had this picture and thought that I could always use it. The thing is, I have realized I couldn't ask for a better picture. Is it the best picture I have ever taken? I hope not. But it is a picture of salad fixings that I shared with family, and it was taken before I knew about this challenge so it was a natural shot in the sense that there is no pretense involved. I'm hoping my natural shots improve, but at least I now have a base from which to compare.

What I'm Working On:

2012-01-04T12:33:00.004-06:00

Every Wednesday my plan is to share what I am working on. I looked around for a link-up, knowing there had to be something, but it apparently wasn't my day to find such. The ones I did find were specific for a specific creative art, and some days my Wednesdays may be about inspiration and ideas, not just yarn and material, but today that's what I am sharing.

This is Stormy Skies. I have limited space to store yarn, so when my bin fills up I use that to make the next afghan. The first one I did like that turned out Golden Sunrise, a quaint mixture of pinks and gold. Once those were out of the bin I realized that I still had a bit of a storm left, which seemed like the perfect name. As I started the afghan I accidentally did an extra count of ripple, so this one is going to be wider than the others I have been making. It may end up being the length, but we will see.

This is Touch of Caramel. I am in love with the basis of this quilt, and others I will be making. The squares are all from material I picked up at a thrift store. They were shirts, skirts, and pants which I cut the squares out of. These are a reminder to me that there are stories everywhere you look. I picked up the polka-dotted material to bind the quilt with BUT I'm just not sure about it at all. I'm leaning towards saving that material for another project and maybe going with the simple caramel color to bind with? Or a blue or green? This decision has brought me to a stand still, so I should simply make a decision and go with it.

The Nitty Gritty

2012-01-03T10:15:00.000-06:00

Source: framechangers.com via Stacey on Pinterest

The question was asked. I stumbled generally about things I am doing and want to do, but then I settled and thought andanswered, the one thing I need to make sure I do this year is listen. Then I tried to tell you this morning about how that is going to be the ONE thing I make sure to accomplish this year and I got frustrated. It seems I don't like being limited. So, this is where I am, on the 3rd day of 2012, in the morning.

To listen more with my heart to my God, those I love, and those I know. To listen to ideas I do and don't agree with because they will teach me more about myself and others. To listen to their hearts behind the words that are sometimes said.
To greet each day in happiness and joy and peace. To greet each person the same way with no expectations. To let joy invade each moment.
To believe people are who they say they are. To not be willing to open up my heart to people who have proven they don't want part of it, but not to close my heart to people who have done nothing but prove they love me. To allow everyone to be who they choose to be.
To learn more discipline. Through daily reading, creativity, exercise, and eating. To know again what it is like to feel accomplished because I worked hard.
To watch life grow. To create a garden we can receive from. To let go of my oldest as he moves into his life. To give people room to make mistakes and learn from them.
To try new things. Learn much, listen carefully, and take steps.
To enjoy life through music, quiet, creativity, laughter, and love.
To live life in an organized and scheduled way so that each person and item has my full attention as much as possible. But also to live life spontaneously so that new opportunities I don't plan are opened up to me.
To make a difference in peoples lives. Small differences. To let those grow to be whatever they will be on their own. Taking responsibility only for what I can do, not what becomes after that.
To start each morning fresh and new. To not worry about things forgotten, undone, or unfinished but rather to remember, do, and complete whenever possible.

My goal wasn't to write 10 items, but after writing from memory, reviewing my notebook, and grouping things together this is what I have come up with. It's not an easy answer, but life is so wide, and so varied, and so different that even the simple answers of listen, love, and act don't seem big enough. But the truth is I am small and simple, and can only do what is within my reach. So, while these are many and varied, the simplicity of it all is still there.

To listen.
To be happy.
To believe others.
To be disciplined.
To release.
To be brave.
To enjoy life.
To be organized and spontaneous.
To make a difference.
To start over.

Sometimes you need to figure out the big in order to melt it down to the small. And sometimes the small will then grow into something you can't even imagine. That's what I am counting on.

With all of these things, one thing that I am trying to remember is that no matter what I do I need to do it for the glory of God. I almost crossed some things off my list because I had forgotten this point. It is so very important, and will be the one thing that helps me move forward in such a huge variety of ways. And that, I guess would really have to become the one resolution which covers it all. And then I will let God grow the rest as He wills.

An Overwhelmed Plan

2012-01-02T11:05:00.001-06:00

Source: homegrownhospitality.typepad.com via Stacey on Pinterest

All the things I want to do, all the changes I want to make, the lists that fill notebooks and blogs... sometimes they overwhelm me. This year I am hoping things are different because I am starting out with a plan to keep from ever getting overwhelmed.

You see, I want to make a difference. I want to create a change, not just in me but in and for others. I do. I have grand ideas of final outcomes, but not always the steps in how to get there... or even WHERE there is! I'll be honest. In the past I would become overwhelmed when I didn't know:

where I would end up
what steps to take to get there
how to make a difference in enough people's lives
why I wasn't doing it all already
how to do it all in one day
how to make it a permanent change
what to do when I failed

I know there will be a day or two where I do not accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I know that I will get behind in my reading, studying, and creating. I will not be able to plant everything in my garden that I want to plant this first year. I am not at the end of this race and while I have always been more of a final outcome type person I am learning to be more of a journey type person. And the irony is I believe ~ hope, have faith ~ that this will actually help me be more sure of reaching the final outcome. Or a final outcome I can't even imagine right now.

So, this year my plan to not be overwhelmed is to focus on where I am. Do what I can. Plan for greatness and accept failure. But most importantly release the true outcome to God and listen for Him to tell me the next step to take.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

according to his power that is at work within us,

to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,

for ever and ever! Amen.

Resources for the New Year.

2012-01-01T16:03:00.000-06:00

Source: Uploaded by user via Stacey on Pinterest

I thought I would share some links, ideas, and resources that I have used or will be using to kick off the New Year.

Black Hawk Church: Eat this Book :: I originally saw this Bible reading plan on YouVersion, but I just finished reading the New Testament electronically and decided it was time to have a book in my hands for a while. Our printer isn't printing black, however, so instead of simply printing the plan out I wrote it in a lovely notebook I own. I am so glad that I did this, because now I can keep any notes or thoughts on my reading in the same place. The notebook was really craving to be used.

There are so many free ebooks from Amazon, that if you aren't signed up for one of the numerous websites that let you know about them you are missing out! I have downloaded several fiction and nonfiction books recently, and some that I will be using for the entire year are One Year Alone with God, Holiness Day by Day, Rules to Live By, and It's a Happy Life. I believe you will hear more about these books as the year goes along.

I also noticed that two of those at the time of this posting are no longer free. They come and go quickly. If you are on facebook like these pages, and you will be notified of free and discounted ebooks all the time. Inspired Reads, Pixel of Ink, and the one that seems to notify about the most lately Free Books for Kindle. And remember you do not need a kindle either! Download their kindle app straight to your computer to read these.

If you live around the Moore area, First Baptist Moore has a recreation center that you can use to get in shape. They have a variety of classes, a gym, an indoor walking/running track, a weight room. and a few racket ball rooms. If you aren't in this area check with the local churches because it seems more and more of them are offering this type of thing when they can make it available.

A few other websites whose ideas or offerings have helped me in my planning or working out of my ideas for this new year: Marc and Angel Hack Life, IHeart Organizing, Ruby Slippers, Michael Hyatt, Lil Light O'Mine.

I hope that you find something here that will help you out. I realize that this may be a little late in the ball game, but remember that each day is a new day with a new start. You don't have to have a new year! How about you? Do you have any resources you would like to share?

The Night Before 2011

2011-12-31T07:55:00.001-06:00

Source: bitsotruth.blogspot.com via van on Pinterest

Who remembers Prince's song 1999? Is it just me, or when that song come out did it seem like it would never really happen? Like, that was SO FAR AWAY that we would never get there? And here we are facing 2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar. Sometimes life seems surreal, but all we can do is keep taking each day at a time.

I'm getting all my little duckies in a row in order to feel as if there is some semblance of control fashioned. We have talked about control, change, and lists. I thought I would also talk about fears. The reasons why we don't do what we want to do, but I realized that my focus has changed a little. Even as I wrote about those three things in the past three posts each time one thing was mentioned, and that was attitude.

Then, I picked up an old journal. This one is interesting because the book itself is still not finished. I have picked it up various times over the past 10 years and used it for a few days each year. There has been no rhyme or reason, but what it allowed me to do was look at the few days taken out of each time period. What I learned was I used to be happy, then I wasn't, and it is now time to be so again. Please, that's the nutshell! There is so much more to it, but it's simply the nutshell.

So, my new attitude is going to be fully grasping the joy and love and laughter and happiness that can be found in life. That can be found in me.

If I did the "choose one word for the year" I think it would be happiness, or maybe joy? And this surprises me. But it feels right. I'll be focusing on more than just that, because life has so much to it, and I'll cover that later, but this is my new focus.

Before I leave you for 2011 I wanted to share a link I crossed paths with that goes along with this as well. I have a friend who shares Marc and Angel's facebook stati all the time and most of the time I find myself "liking" or commenting on her share, but for some reason I had never followed them myself. Well, they have a blog as well, and back on August 30th of 2011 they wrote about 12 Things Happy People Do Differently. All my lists and ideas will be organized a little differently now that I read this article. I thought you might want to read it as well.

See you next year!

(Bwahaha! I just realized what I did in the title of this post, but since I already published it like that I will leave it. Maybe it will make someone smile.)

Control factor

2011-12-29T09:38:00.001-06:00

Maybe because we cannot control some change,

we try to change the things we think we control.

I've been staring at this picture and thinking about the sky being the limit, and the fences that border us in for about the past half hour or so. I think about all the lists that are going around and wonder which ones I would do. The Bucket List? The Been There Done That List? The Never In a Million Years List? The If Anything Were Possible List? There's simply something soothing about writing a list down and being able to look at it. Maybe it's simply because the idea feels more tangible when we can hold the paper it is written on. Or maybe it's a sense of control we are looking for.

This coming year holds change for me. Some big changes. It's nice knowing the change is coming because I can prepare for them. Get adjusted to it before it happens. And let me say, there is still a bit of time before either of the two changes happen. I just thought it would give me a sense of control, but there is none. Knowing does not let me feel like I am controlling a thing. Now I simply feel as if I am dreading it, and I don't want to do that. Truth be told, if God is going to allow us to go through these changes, then He has a plan to follow as well. I know this. I simply need to control my emotions. Ah, the control factor still evident.

"You can't control those around you. You're doing good if you can control yourself." ~ unknown

"Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

As I look at what is to come, I know there is more that I do not know. Trusting God with all of it can be hard some days, though I know it should not be. His control is so much better than mine, and so I try again to release and let go and listen closely to hear His calling and watch for His path. With all my lists, ideas, life plans, and choices I know that His path is the one I want to take.

"Life is what happens when you are busy making plans." ~ John Lennon

"Man plans, God laughs." ~ Yiddish saying

These are the thoughts and ideas that keep me from planning some days. The fact that I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, even when I think I do. What I really want is to be able to accept whatever comes, and I am grateful to God for any ability to prepare for it. So, many of my lists also include preparations for what might be. No, I'm not getting all Mayan on you. I'll let God worry about the end of the world. I'll just prep for what He has let me know about for now, and be thankful for that ability. Am I trying to control things still? I don't think so. I think I'm simply trying to be wise with what He has given me.

Proverbs 19:21

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

Water, Flowers, Grass, Sand

2011-12-28T08:38:00.000-06:00

Always remember

that the future comes

one day at a time.

~Dean Acheson

I find that I am both the epitome and the opposite of this quote. I only seem to be able to take things one day at a time, as they come. While I am learning to look further into the future, it is difficult to get too detailed with plans because I know every day will bring a little change. However, at the same time, I grow frustrated when it takes me longer than "now" to do something.

Wouldn't it be nice if we literally could set a day and decide that everything would change then? January 1st, 2012, we will be more like we want to be. We will be kinder, gentler, easier to get along with, more creative, firm, and fun. We will have new beneficial habits that will be set in stone, and new ventures that will make us feel as if we are soaring. But that's simply not the way of it. I see change instead like water, grass, flowers, and sand.

When you throw a rock out into the river, or when a fish jumps in a pond, you can be assured that there will be a change across the surface of the water. Ripples will form from the point of impact and slowly go out in all directions. Some changes we make are like this. We may or may not plan them, but we watch them move through our life slowly and surely leaving things similar but different.

I couldn't help but think of the soap opera Days of Our Lives when the sand came into my mind. The show always started with the sand of the hourglass slowly falling from one section to the next. It represented our days, each piece of sand, leaving us. Once it's gone we can't do it again, so we only have that moment to change something if we want to. We can lose opportunities if we aren't paying attention.

Grass starts out as a seed, and ends up being harvested. It's a slow process, but one that has a productive outcome. This is the change most of us strive for in our lives at this time of year. The hard working change, the productive change, the change we can point to and see the benefits of.

While flowers also start out as a seed, some people don't think it is a productive end. Cut flowers wither and die, so what is the purpose? To bring beauty into the world, to share love, to experience joy. This change may not be long lasting on this earth, but I believe it is the type of change that benefits us and those around us the most.

Truth be told, all of these changes come to us whether we plan them or not. As I take stock of where I am and who I am much goes into how I evalute things. What changes would I like to see? What do I think God is working on in and around me? What is growing, what is rippling, and what can I no longer do anything about?

I'm sitting down with paper today. I'm going to go over the Life Plan I currently have, and tweak it. I'm going to add to it, and take away from it. I'm going to look at the changes I have been making, and write them down so I can see them. I'm going to consider where I want to end up and who I want to be. I will make some lists, some steps, some ideas and pray about it all as I do it.

I will go through all these changes above, and more, rest assured. Some I will see coming, and some I wont realize until it's too late. But for now I will take things one day at a time and evalute everything with the knowledge I have now.

How do you see the change in your life?

Not too far ahead

2011-12-27T08:29:00.001-06:00

How many lists can one girl make? Oh, people, let me tell you! A whole mind full!! I have lists running through my mind about things I wish I had done with my children, what I wish I had done with my family, what I wish I hadn't done, what I would like to do, what I need to stop doing, what should be done, what not to worry about, and many many more. I haven't even begun to write them down yet. Honestly, I don't know how productive some of these lists would be. It's a fine balance, isn't it?

Every time we come to the end of one year and the beginning of the next we strive to become better people. This requires looking backwards and forward, but if we do this too much we get stuck and never do anything. We have to eliminate, purge, create, and reveal in order to move forward. It takes all of it, but in limited doses and small quantities. And most of all, we need to keep our eyes off of others and keep them on our own path. I promise, if we don't we will stumble and fall. Hard.

So, how do we keep that balance? Well, without having made the decisions, without any lists to follow, with plans circling my head and regrets circling my heart, I know in my soul that the way we move forward is in love, gratitude, and joy.

Soon it will be Christmas day...

2011-12-24T10:12:00.000-06:00

Everyone seems to celebrate whenever they can. You see, it's not really about the presents wrapped up with bows as much as it is who you are with. So, you move dinner to this day, and change the opening of presents to that day, to create a time to be with the most people as possible. As we all travel to be with as many as we can I hope that you are surrounded by love whether it is with new friends, old favorites, chosen loves, or given family.

Thank you, my friends, for visiting with me here in this little space of mine. I appreciate each of you so much. While I don't know if we ever will sit and share a story over coffee, I'm so glad we get to share here and in your spaces as well.

Merry Christmas! Can't wait to start talking about the new year!!

How much time do you have?

2011-12-23T16:10:00.003-06:00

This morning we headed up to Stillwater with my parents to have lunch at Eskimo Joe's. It was a quick trip due to the fact that oldest had to be at work after lunch, but it was a good trip. By the time I got home I ran some errands and learned a great lesson. How much time do you have?

We got to Eskimo Joe's right when it opened for lunch. We were actually there a little early purchasing sweatshirts next door, but we were the first customers in when the door opened. We had an hour to eat lunch, which we thought was plenty of time. Apparently we had the slowest waiter on earth, and we took the entire hour. I had absolutely no patience with the boy, and watched his every move while we were there. Yes, I talked with my parents and had a good time, but I always had an eye to see the boy go talk with his friends, read the newspaper, and disappear for a bit of time. Our drinks sat empty, we waited for half an hour to order, and barely walked out of the restaurant on time after hailing him down for our check. It was not the nice relaxed lunch I thought it would be.

When I got home I ran to the post office and the grocery store. Yes, Christmas Eve Eve I hit those two places. I had plenty of time, so I wasn't worried or stressed. I let someone go in front of me at the Post Office, but barely waited for my package. Then at the store I doubled back through half the aisles 2-3 times because I kept forgetting items. I sang the Christmas songs that were playing through the store, so it didn't bother me. Then waiting in line, they tried to let me move up to the shorter line, the customer service area. I didn't have much, but I didn't feel comfortable going there for some reason. So, I pulled behind an older woman as she emptied her cart. Long story short, we had a nice conversation, she gave me a sweet smile, and I was in my car about 20 minutes later. A little longer than I had hoped, but I wasn't stressed. It was a much more relaxed trip than I thought it would be.

This is when the lesson hit me. My attitude was based not on the actions of others, but on how much time I felt I had. The more scheduled we are, the less likely we will have patience with someone who needs a little help, or share a conversation with someone when we are trying to walk out the door. Now, sometimes we simply can't help being a time watcher, but maybe we all need to try to allow a little more time for things to happen in our life. If I could have given an extra half hour for lunch I wouldn't have been so stressed about how long it was taking to get our food. And if I had less time for the grocery store I probably wouldn't have even spoken to the dear woman who crossed paths with me today.

What are we missing out on when we get so rushed to hurry to the next thing?

As this Christmas Season continues my goal is to give myself a little extra time as I do things. I'm hoping to more enjoy the moments I'm waiting for, and be surprised by the moments I don't know are coming. Well, maybe not just for this season. Maybe into the new year as well.

Cookies made.

2011-12-21T16:10:00.001-06:00

No pictures taken. Goodness, I'm just not good at remembering the camera, but thankfully I'm making notes here. Maybe I"ll be able to remember in the future after writing it down even if I don't have the visual stimulus.

We went over to my mom's this morning, took the cookies we made and all the decorations, and had quite a morning of it. First we made Melted Sugar brownies which is delish and came from a recipe from my aunt. I think that's the right name. Then we made English Toffee from a recipe my mom got from a friend a few years ago but shared with the family cookbook. YUMMY! And we spent about half an hour icing and decorating the cookies. No two are alike, but I am thankful I burned the first batch. We had plenty!

The boys went out to the base with their poppy while I got to spend some time with my mom and inch worm, and all in all it was a really good day. It's funny, or ironic? After all this enjoying, remembering, and not missing out I am still a little surprised Christmas is less than one week away. But I don't feel rushed or crazy, and for that I am VERY grateful.

I hope you are enjoying your days as well!

Traditional Christmas Cookies

2011-12-19T20:01:00.001-06:00

I will be honest, I have no idea who I got this recipe from. I have had it since 2003, or at least that's when I printed it out. The website it came off of is also at the bottom of the printed sheet, but it is no longer in service. I haven't made this every year, but nearly every and it's a joy to make and yummy to eat. You MUST ice these because they are not sugar cookies in the least. The icing gives it the sweetness that all cookies at this time of year need, BUT others around here have no problem eating them plain as well.

I have only done half the process as of tonight, but come Wednesday our cookies will be decorated with icing, silver balls, and whatever else I pick up from that aisle. That's the fun part!

Traditional Christmas Cookies

2 sticks butter
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 Tbs milk
2 tsp vanilla
4 cups flour
1 Tbs baking powder
1 tsp salt

With a hand mixer, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, milk, and vanilla. In separate bow sift together flour, baking power, and salt. Gradually beat into butter mixture. Refrigerate dough 1 hour. Dough can be rolled out and use cookie cutters, or roll into small balls and press down on the top of them to flatten. Place cookies on an ungreased cookie sheet, bake in 325 degree oven until golden, 20 to 30 minutes, depending on thickness. Cool on wire rack.
Pastel Icing

Beat 2 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar and 2 Tbs water at high speed until smooth. Divide icing into as many colors as you want and use food coloring to color. Let cookies cool completely before icing.

make the most

2011-12-18T15:46:00.003-06:00

The camera is STILL in my purse. I forgot to take a single picture. It didn't go as we planned, and wasn't what we expected, but I think it still turned out to be a nice evening. We went to a nearby city to see their Christmas light display. It was a CRAZY mess of traffic. I am wondering if it is so bad throughout the season, or simply because it was the weekend before Christmas weekend. It took us longer to get two blocks than it did to drive through the park and look at all the displays. But we had fun, talked to part of my family in the other car by walky-talky, and ate together before we headed out.

I think that may be the goal of this time of year, or maybe all times? Making the most of the situation you find yourself in, even when things don't live up to your expectations. If you can go into a situation without expectations I would have to say that is the best choice, but I'm still on the learning end of that lesson. Obviously.

a small step to part of a goal

2011-12-17T17:24:00.000-06:00

I did something for the first time which many will roll their eyes at. "What's the big deal?" You ask? Well, it was a step. A step towards doing something. A step towards a goal. I actually have a goal! And the step I took was a little nerve wracking. It's really not that big of a deal. This will become second nature for me, I know that. But, there's always a starting point, right?

So, practice the eye roll. Do it again. Got it? Okay, then, ready? Roll.... I went to a thrift store and purchased matching items for material for a quilt. I know, I know!! I told you it was no big deal. I get it. But for me, it simply was. And it was fun. And it felt right. And it made me excited to be there in that space.

As I walked in the store it was all I could do to take everything in. Everything divided up into sections, I ended up in the women's clothing. Maybe I thought it would be less obvious, but, let me tell you, when I took my stack of clothing up to the front a few questions were asked. All various sizes, but all similar colors? I must really like that color or I'm planning for one of those awkward family photos you see circling around the net occasionally. But I was okay with it. I actually told a stranger my plan.

"I'm going to make a quilt out of these."

Her question was if it was cheaper. I had no idea at the time, it was, but while that was a consideration that wasn't my goal. My goal? Well, those are still shaking out and working their way through space in my heart, but it encompasses the idea that everything carries memories. Have you ever looked at a home and just wondered what stories their walls could tell? How long have you held onto that old shirt, dress, shoes but simply can't get rid of them even though you don't wear them anymore? That material holds stories. Your stories. And the material in the thrift store carries someone else's stories, and I'm going to use them to make something beautiful and wonderful for another someone else. And the memories will keep going on.

For me, that is a part of my goal. Just one part. But it thrills my heart, and I took another first step towards it yesterday.

Yay me!

Happy Christmas!

2011-12-16T08:27:00.000-06:00

This is the week of the Christmas Party, at least for the adults of the household. We got together with work friends and we will get together with Sunday School friends. There has been good food, laughter, sharing, and good times. I know that will continue. It's not like any of us go out of our way to be peaceful to one another at these parties, but we are. There are no huge debates or arguments, but maybe we all know that is simply not the time for them. So, I wonder... is there a time?

It seems this season brings out the debates quite well. You can't really avoid at least hearing about the issues that circle around Christmas. Each side of the argument feels they are truly speaking the truth, and I'll be honest in saying that most debates I see or hear have pros and cons on both sides. What I do not understand is why people get so poisonous about them. Do we really have the desire to put people in their place right now? I would beg to say we don't, but it's hard not to step up on that soap box when you see it sitting in front of you so prettily.

I have been one to step on a soap box in my time, and I can't say I wont do it again. I get blinded by the "rightness" of my view, and I want others to agree with me. But I am learning, I hope. I think I am not quite as quick to start arguing with someone in heated debate over something... anything. However, I do understand the draw and pull that brings us to that spot. Heck, I guess that's what I'm doing right here a little bit as well.

I do not care if you say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas. It does not bother me if Santa visits your children Christmas Eve. I'm okay if you don't feel a Christmas Tree really helps you celebrate the season. And I get that you want to remember the reason for the season as well. I think it's cool if your advent season is full of scripture or acts of kindness, but I know the kids will love the chocolates or tiny presents that come with another's. I know your family loves it when you read the Nativity story Christmas eve, and for some it's the Night Before Christmas poem that brings back their own childhood.

We all lay stake to the fact that we are unique and individual, and yet we all insist that how we do it is the right way. I think it's because another's choice being different than ours makes us feel that we have done something wrong. So we step up to the box, and defend ourselves, and maybe we throw a few barbs the other direction as well. Ironic, isn't it?

I have known people who don't celebrate, who put up lights on the roof, who watch the Norad website for Santa, and who only give three gifts to their children. We are all trying to live our lives as God calls us to, and these differences show that God speaks to us differently. We don't have to argue about it or judge one another for it. Let's simply all pretend we are at one great big Christmas party, or Holiday party if you prefer, and try to get along a little better. Maybe this simply shouldn't be the season of debate and argument. But then I still don't think there is any good time for that.

Remembered

2011-12-14T08:54:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel like you simply have to hold your breath? You must, for if you exhale everything will be blown away? That's where I am this morning, but deep breaths come anyway and they are refreshing.

I work, wonder, ask, plead, and question. Then I sit with those things for a while wondering and worrying. And then my God pours so much into my lap and into my brain that I laugh at my questions that were once so serious, and I contemplate how I ever could have put so much stock in me.

I love other bloggers, for they help me find my way regularly. They are often my morning devotional and afternoon break. I recently culled the list of blogs I am subbed to, and while it is still an obscene amount, they are enough that I can read once again. I missed the words because too many made me feel overwhelmed. God gives to so many and so many receive into their soul. His Word is holy and just and dividing. Our words point to the Maker, the Creator, the One.

Beyond Tolerance ~ Incarnation ~ The Gift of Joy

And then I woke up from the dream of having it all ~ A Supernatural Plan

Doing the "Hard Things" in Parenting

And so I breathe, because God has placed me where I am, He will grow the fruit in my life, and He will plan the things for me to do. I need only have eyes and ears to see and hear, and He will provide those as well. Maybe what I really need is an open heart not blocked by bitterness, anger, abuse, and pain. But that too He will deliver. He is our provider and healer.

And so I exhale, grateful that I don't need to turn blue to move forward. Thankful for the God who remembers.

Psalm 25:4-7

Show me your ways, LORD,
teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, LORD, are good.

God's creative people.

2011-12-13T08:24:00.002-06:00

I hesitate to say it, but I am struggling lately. In moving forward I have to deal with some thoughts, issues, and ideas that have been in my mind which I have largely ignored. I remember when music wasn't necessarily categorized, or at least that's how it seemed. Art was art, and it didn't need a second label on it. Books were stories in which we could learn much. When did we decide that it was necessary to put the "christian" label on it, and why does that get the response it does?

I am reading a book about "creatives" and the lessons successful women share. I have read three or four chapters and already feel heavy. Their words are from their heart, and I would not negate that in a minute. I believe I can learn from these women and am grateful for the words they are willing to share. As I said, I have not finished the book, but I will. It's just that out of 4 chapters, and however many of the 45 women who were interviewed for it, none of them yet have pointed to the Creator.

It's like a division in camp. Or maybe not really. You see, I have found that there are many people out there who will turn their back on a book, music, etc. if it is labeled "christian." Somehow they have gotten the rap of being lesser than, or not quite as good as. People either gravitate to something because of that label, or they run screaming, with the majority of the world running, I think. So, why would anyone point to the Creator and get labeled in that way to have their work dismissed before it's even looked at subjectively?

Where are the voices of those who worship the One True God and allow His creativity to flood their soul and overflow into work that is astounding and amazing? I know they are out there. Where are those who do everything for the glory of God? How can we as christians point to the Creator and show how AMAZING He is through what we do?

Or maybe there are some out there doing just that, in an individual way, and we simply have to find them? Some carry the label, and some don't. The authors, the painters, the bloggers, the creatives who know where their creativity comes from. Maybe there is no book that is full of their wisdom of how to keep your eye on God no matter what you do, how to promote your business but not shadow your God, how to show God's glory by giving your best? Or maybe there is and I simply have not come across it yet.

In this season of Celebrating Christ's birth I feel as if I am taking stock of so many things, and I find myself lacking. What can I give this Christ child? Do I need a label of christian to make Him proud or for others to see Him in my life? Or can I live the creative part of my life as I to try do the rest of my life where He is intertwined amongst everything, including my mistakes? Do I need to stand up for the label of christian or can I know that only God knows any of our hearts and this label means virtually nothing? Answers evade.

Music time.

2011-12-12T08:17:00.003-06:00

We had an amazing weekend. Full of much, a little busy, but good.

Every year we have watched the Trans Siberian Orchestra on PBS. We hear their music on the radio and it's some of our very favorite to hear. So when the opportunity came for us to go see them live, Captain simply couldn't pass it up. It was amazing. It made me giggle to hear that some people thought they were simply an orchestra, BUT I was surprised at how little orchestra there actually was. But the music was great, the story was lovely, and the experience was priceless. It was an amazing gift that Captain gave us, and one that we will remember often.

Sunday night we went to our church's Christmas Musical with my family and then celebrated my mother's birthday. It was a wonderful time, and I have to admit my sister gave the bestest gift. She simply did. :)

What was great was we sat down and "scheduled" some things for us to do through the holidays. So we have some light looking to look forward to, and some cookie baking and icing which will be fun. Oh, there's the traditional Christmas dinner and present opening as well. Can't forget those!

Just a great whirlwind of a weekend all around. I only wish I had gotten better pictures.

Gold belt gone

2011-12-10T15:23:00.001-06:00

Can you see it? The smile on his face that is genuine and through the eyes? the picture is blurry, but I kept it because I could see that smile anyway. I adore that smile, and this one was because he just passed his test for orange belt. He has been doing amazingly well with Tae Kwon Do and the teachers here are outstanding.

We were there for about four hours, and it didn't seem that long at all. The gym was cold though, soooo cold. Course, had I been on the mats I'm sure it wouldn't have bothered me at all. Everyone that tested passed, though the pretests keep too many hearts from breaking. One girl told me that she was worried about passing, and I told her that if by some fluke she didn't then she could look forward to beating me up and teaching me how to fall. It made her laugh, so that's good.

He was tense at the beginning of the test, and pretty much didn't relax until he had completed the sparring portion. It was exciting watching him and I was so proud of him for never giving up. He kept going and pushing and learning and repeating to really get it all. He did so well!

A little baking has begun!

2011-12-08T12:50:00.001-06:00

See him up there? I would do anything for that boy, but thankfully he asks for things I love to do anyway. Today it was making cake pops for his office Christmas lunch.

It has kicked off my Christmas baking.

So, this morning I put the finishing touches on the cake pops and got them ready for him to take with him tomorrow morning. I am so tickled with the way they came out! The best part is I have another batch that I am going to finish up to take to our Sunday School party next week.

I also will be making some of our Traditional Christmas cookies and icing them. We saw one morning news show making Christmas treats and one girl was icing sugar cookies. It made me laugh at how much fun she was having all by herself as the other morning hosts moved to the next recipe made by the guest. It is just FUN, isn't it?? We also have a gingerbread house to make, and I am pretty sure I will be making more pumpkin bread, both the new recipe and one I have in my head. I really don't want to make too much food, and what I have decided is that I will make through out the next year what I don't make for this holiday season. After all, what is better at Valentines day than some crock pot sweet and spicy nuts? Or maybe Ground hog day needs some hot chocolate stirrers, because you KNOW it will still be cold then. Anyway, that is my plan to make ALL the things I want to make without eating it all at once. Hopefully we will enjoy it more.

Shoot, who am I kidding? Hopefully I will carry out the plan! LOL

What are you taking to the office party?

A few of my favorite things...

2011-12-06T13:30:00.001-06:00

Brown paper packages tied up with ribbons....

I have a laundry list of favorite things from this season: doggy kisses, baby hugs, friendly greetings, cakepops asked for, wrapping up presents, snowflakes inside and out, etc. I also have a list of moments which were very hard to work through but they come at the top of my truly favorites list because I know that God uses them to make me better.

I have officially begun two new things in the past month or so which will extend far beyond this holiday season. Each one has taken me to the point of being overwhelmed at separate times. In the past that was the key moment for me. The moment when I would stop, turn back, turn around, give up. Not always, but mostly. These times, however, I pushed through, persevered, and continued going. It thrilled my heart to move past the moment where I normally got stuck.

When you have done this once it makes it so much easier the next time.

That's what I have always thought.

In all honesty, my second moment was much harder than the first, but God gave me the grace to move through it. I certainly didn't do so gracefully. Maybe next time I will do that better.

Working through these moments and living in the moments of the holidays reminds me that through it all I am so very blessed. My favorite things? Those are just moments of respite which bring a temporary smile. My favorite moments? They are the ones that truly fill my heart. What a glorious fact that God will pull us out of the mud before we start sinking.

Remember

2011-12-04T15:36:00.001-06:00

We went to a recital this afternoon after church where my oldest had their Christmas performance. He played and sang Gravity. There were several other children performing a variety of other songs, all on a variety of different instruments, all a variety of different ages.

I wanted to rush to their mothers.

"Enjoy this time! It goes by all too quickly.

I was told that and ignored it.

Or I thought I understood,

but let me tell you - I didn't.

I hope you are smarter than I was.

I enjoyed some of the time, tried to forget the fights, and tried to imprint the laughter into my brain.

I rolled my eyes when they annoyed me.

Why did I do that?

I wished for some days of my own.

I will have plenty.

I have told others that the time doesn't go quickly,

on the days that drug.

But please,

no matter what I have said in the past,

remember,

this time is short.

They may be learning to walk, speak, or play an instrument.

They may be struggling with math, writing, or their latest karate move.

They may be fighting you every step of the way.

But be there.

In that moment.

And cherish it.

The struggles, the fights, the laughter, the time.

Enjoy it as much as you can

in the light that we are to be thankful for it all.

I know you don't think you ever will be thankful for some things,

but you will.

And the sooner you are,

the more you can cherish where you are."

And that's what I wanted to say,

but I didn't

because

I was busy cherishing the moment myself.

Merry Christmas to YOU!

2011-12-02T13:24:00.001-06:00

Source: food.com via Stacey on Pinterest

Doesn't that bottle look just like any old bottle of cleanser? Nothing new, same old same old. I get tired of cleansers that say they will make my cleaning easier. I struggle the most in the shower. OH MY WORD. The water spots that are left after cleaning and squeegeeing frustrate me. I'm constantly looking for something that will make a difference.

My friends, this is not a paid endorsement, nor is it even a product you can buy, but it is a miracle in a bottle. It's my Christmas miracle, and your present from me this year. (You can click through this picture to my Pinterest where you can click through to the original "recipe" and instructions.)

To make this lovely concoction: Take equal parts vinegar and the blue Dawn dish soap. Pour the vinegar in a spray bottle, and nuke for 30 seconds. Pour the dish soap in and shake to mix. Spray and clean.

I did let the mixture sit on my shower doors, like I do with everything praying during that time that I will see a difference. With everything else I would wipe it down, clean the cleanser off, dry it, and yet still see the same water spots. This, my friends, made all the difference in the world. When I wiped this off of the glass, the metal, the faucet, everything! It was all sparkly! All clean! NO MORE WATER SPOTS.

I thought, give it time to dry. They always show up when it's dry. THEY DIDN'T!

I. AM. Thrilled!

Apparently, it's the little things.

Traditions Anyway

2011-11-30T10:23:00.001-06:00

Even when you don't do things the way you would like to, they seem to become a tradition anyway. Do you have anything that is like that? For me it is this advent calendar. I purchased mine years ago at Starbucks.

Originally each drawer had a piece of chocolate in it, but honestly I don't know that there have been two years where we pulled out the same thing twice. We have pulled out scripture verses, candy, ornaments to hang on the tree, we even tried to read along with Anne Voskamp's Jesse Tree Book one year. This year I had thought about doing more of an activity advent, or even a Random Acts of Christmas Kindness advent, and yet with all my preparations, list making, and planning I didn't get anything done to go in those little boxes.

I had actually forgotten.

Youngest remembered today because tomorrow is the first day of December, and that has always been our "advent" period. He remembered the box tree where we take each one out and turn it around for a winter scene picture. He remembered the verses we read, sometimes catching up by reading more than one day at a time. And when we pulled the tree out of the closet we realized that we hadn't completed it last year. Only some of the boxes had been turned around. I felt like a failure at first, but then I realized that life happens.

I don't know why we didn't read all the scriptures last year. Maybe it was the year we tried to follow Anne Voskamp's book. Maybe we got so busy celebrating that it simply didn't get done. And so I am looking at the tree on my table and wondering how we can do it this year, and have it work. And I don't know the answer. But that's okay.

We will pull the drawers each day, and read the paper within. We will talk about things we can do to celebrate the season, and spread the good will and cheer to others. We will anticipate the celebration of Christ's birth, and the coming of his return. We will live life, and the Advent Calendar will be a part of that living.

When I started doing the advent calendar

I had hoped that it would be a special time for my family.

Somehow, amongst all the failure, and missing days, and no regular plan it has become so.

And that is where traditions come from sometimes.

100 little snowflakes.

2011-11-28T15:16:00.001-06:00

We went to the gym, ran a few errands, scooped up some books from the library, and then I came home to hang snowflakes. I guess I have added to my decorations this year after all. I'm hoping they are a reminder that even when we can't see our path, God has it covered with his grace, goodness, and love.

You see, I sat down with the budget today. We have needed to do this for a while to know exactly what is going out so that when the coming in changes we are ready. And sometimes it's startling to know how much money you "need" to live on. But then I know, I really do, that we are doing far more than existing, and we have tons of areas to cut back on before we ever got to only what we "need." We are going to be okay because God's got it all covered. It's like the first snow, right? I hear my friends in the south might get theirs before us, and I'm quite okay with that. We'll get ours in the right time.

If you haven't considered it, maybe spend some of your Christmas budget over at World Vision or Compassion International this year. They both have catlogues you can purchase "gifts" for in the name of someone else if you can't sponsor a child right now. I do know there are people out there who do need.

Decorations are up!

2011-11-27T14:57:00.001-06:00

Do you see the laughter just exuding from who they are? It's always such a joy when we put the Christmas decorations up around the house. Are they like this the entire time? Um... no. They do, however, have these moments, and for that I am so grateful. They help Captain build the tree, I put on the lights, and they put on all the decorations. The lights make my heart smile, and the colors of our ornaments do too for that matter.

I really scaled back on our Christmas decorations last year, and have not added to them this year. I have a snowman landscape, the nativity, a glass wreath, the door wreath, the tree. Oh, and the stockings I made last year which hang on the mantel. Very simple, but nice.

Of course, we have also added Christmas music to our home, and the local radio stations make it easy by playing it constantly. I have to admit, I miss the Dallas area a little for the loss of the local Christian station down there. They played my favorite "newer" Christmas song, which is Here With Us. I don't get to hear it on the station here. Enjoy....

And the Christmas Season officially starts....

2011-11-26T18:50:00.000-06:00

We went to San Antonio for the Thanksgiving Holiday and it was such a blessing. The trip is a little longer now that we are in Oklahoma, but it simply makes the arrival sweeter when we get there. The morning we left there was fog from our front door into Texas. It was beautiful and kept that rising sun from blinding us through the morning. Captain likes to say the sun rose and the day sang as we crossed into Texas, but don't you believe him. It was well past Dallas before the clouds lifted fully.

While there we had much turkey, ham, pie, and all the side dishes to go with it. SO many good cooks in that family. There was playing with cousins, talking with siblings and parents, and many games of football played both on television and in life. We remembered, laughed, and loved. I hope to receive some pictures from the real photographer of the family, but those I got made me smile as well. The lighting was perfect, but I feel as if I'm either not fast enough for a shot, or too slow.

I always come home from San Antonio inspired in so many directions. This time it was canning and gardening, and I'm planing on talking to my mom about that soon. My sister-in-law made her own jelly, my mother-in-law and other sister-in-law have canned EVERYTHING imaginable, and the gardens grow in abundance. I simply have to remember that I am just starting out, and to go slowly. Otherwise, this girl with simply get overwhelmed, but I adore the idea of growing food and canning all sorts of things.

On my way home we saw THIS car, and it made me think of THIS movie. We're watching it tonight. Christmas Vacation is how we always kick off the Christmas Season. (I censored the language. We used to watch the televised version for years until we lost the VHS and went to DVD. I admit, I still like that version better and think they lost nothing when they removed the cursing. heh)

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny *** Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white **** down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *** this side of the nuthouse." ~ Clark

Happy Turkey Day, my friends!

2011-11-24T06:30:00.000-06:00

For those who have been here long enough know that this was my graphic from last year. I decided that it was time to recycle a little, and it still worked. :) I know my heart is full of joy and love and my day is filled with laughter and (good) tears. I pray yours is as well!

For those of you who may be having a difficult time being grateful this year, please know you are in my prayers. I don't know your heartbreak, but I know that God knows.

White Space

2011-11-22T11:50:00.001-06:00

I made the pumpkin bread again, with help from the author's granddaughter. Who knew that it makes a difference what oil you use, and how much batter your pour into the pan. I haven't actually tried them yet, but I already know that I did better this time than last time. They smelled different while they were still in the oven! My friend said it was a science, baking. Cooking is an art, baking is a science. I have learned, though I will still continue to experiment I am sure.

This holiday season I am wanting to make it fabulous for everyone. Am I setting my goals to high? Do I have expectations no one can reach? I don't think so. I'm okay with failure, or things being different, and I don't have a set equation I want to follow. This holiday season celebrating is more of an art.

All good art has white space. A little silence, a little rest, a little backing off. My blog will have white space, too, during this time, especially when my goal is to be present in the moment. I love writing, and it's part of who I am, and my plan is to share things afterwards with maybe a more attentive point of view than normal.

I don't think I'm hypersensitive, I think I'm just waiting. Expecting. And I am enjoying being in this moment and I think I will enjoy being in the moment I'm waiting for, which I really hope will help us enjoy the moments afterwards.

I absolutely adored this video shared by Kelly, and I wanted to share it as well. I hope, more than anything, that your waiting and expectation and celebration is like this.

Old and New

2011-11-21T15:27:00.001-06:00

Today I took some time to go through old Christmas pictures and I chose some to go in our digital frame. It seems no holiday season can truly be celebrated without looking back at least a little. We've come so far and yet have so far to go. It was such a joy to look back for a little bit, and it brings a smile to my face when each new picture flips onto the screen. Memories cherished, to be certain. This was Captain's and my very first Christmas tree together.

I also took time to try out a new recipe I got from a friend. It is an old family secret recipe. One she claims can't stay frozen due to the speed at which it is ingested. I'm going to have to try again. Obviously, I did something wrong somewhere. I made two batches, they were different color and batter consistencies before I even baked them.

After I baked them was no better. Yes, you actually can see through the bigger loaf on the bottom left. Cracks me up. Hopefully I will do better tomorrow because all I can do is try, try again. I don't have much to do for this Thanksgiving in the way of cooking, so I wanted to do a little something.

Oldest went Christmas shopping all on his own today and then brought lunch back for youngest and I. We also cleaned house, did laundry, and rewrapped some presents. Yes, REwrapped. They will travel so much better in this condition, trust me.

Remembering the Season

2011-11-20T15:22:00.001-06:00

The truth of the matter is I am looking for a way to get through this holiday season appreciating each and every day. You see, if all things go as planned, this will be the last holiday season when my oldest lives under the roof of his parents. It would be easy peasy to get really morose and emotional about this, but what would that do for him? What would that do for me? Where would the thankfulness be in that? I know this is not our last season with him, but things will simply be different. As. they. should. be. I know this. And in my attempt to embrace where we are now, I am going to be Remembering the Season. Would you like to join me?

My plan is that for each day I take a photograph of what we did and share a little here as well. My goal will be to embrace the moment, find joy where we are, and be thankful for all things. God has given me so incredibly much and I don't want to miss a thing. I thought a tangible way to look back on the traditions, joys, and laughter would be lovely. I'm not a scrapbooker, but if I were I would probably do this on paper. I'm a blogger and therefor you get to remember with me.

I would love it if you would like to join me. I don't think there will be enough for a Mr. linky, but if you would like to leave a comment so that I and others who pass this way can visit I would love that!

Feel free to take this button as we Remember the Season in 2011.

My Ripple Pattern

2011-11-19T07:09:00.001-06:00

The way I figure it no two ripples are really all that different, but when I started making afghans again I didn't want to follow another pattern. Call me a silly girl, it wont be new, but I sat down with the yarn, pencil, and paper and figured out a pattern for me to follow. I really am enjoying it. Come over and say hello to me at Ravelry if you get the chance, it seems my hook is back.

Count 15+3
For my stitch size count of 123 is about 36 inches and 138 is 40 inches wide.

row 1 - Chain 138 (or your desired length)
row 2 - Turn, in third stitch dc 2x, *dc in next 6 stitches, skip two stitches, dc in next 6 stitches, 3 dc in next stitch* repeat until remaining stitch is left where you will place 2 dc rather than the patterns 3 dc, chain 2.
row 3 on - Turn, in blo from now on, follow row 2 until desired length. Every first 2 dc and last 2 dc of the row will be in the entire stitch and not just the blo.
Change colors at the end of the row or as often as your little heart desires.

If you try this pattern and it doesn't make sense please let me know. As simple as it seems I may have overlooked something. It's been a long time since I have written out a pattern. For newbies: dc= double crochet; blo= back loop only.

Feel free to use this pattern however you wish, except to claim it as yours.

Remember extra?

2011-11-18T13:49:00.001-06:00

The last principal that I learned from Mrs. Titus is called the "Also Principal." It's actually what I have been referring to as "the extra" for a while, but she pinned it down so that I could understand better. It totally thrilled me to have guidance on an idea I had but was still perculating.
The basis for this principal comes out of Genesis when Abraham sent his servant back to his homeland to find a wife for his son Isaac. As the servant planned and prayed to his master's God Rachel came up to where the servant was...

And the servant ran to meet her and said, “Please let me drink a little water from your pitcher.” So she said, “Drink, my lord.” Then she quickly let her pitcher down to her hand, and gave him a drink. And when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.”

The servant knew that if the girl he approached was not only willing to help him but do extra then that would be someone who was raised like Abraham, therefore it was a relative of his. It turned out this was in fact so, and Mrs. Titus explained much about our inheritance from Abraham, and the call to inconvenience. What I needed to hear was the application of this principal for I had not been doing the extra for a lack of knowledge.
Now it seems so simple, and whether I was simply stuck in perfection, grandeur, or the idea that I couldn't do it all the time I have no idea. The principal is plainly put, do the also.

If you wash the dishes, dry them also.
If you vacuum the living room, dust also.
If you bring in the mail, throw out the junk mail also.

Different things will require more or less time, obviously, but if you aren't willing to take 5 minutes to do a small extra you wont take 20 minutes to really go out of the way for someone else. I kept thinking that small extras weren't worth the time, but now I know better.

Source: etsy.com via Stacey on Pinterest

Life doesn't have to be complicated but we do make it that way sometimes. Or at least I do. It was so nice to be encouraged in an idea I had been ruminating on and taught the simplicity of carrying it out.

For more of what Mrs. Titus spoke about go to her website, read this link over at True Woman, or pick up her audio or book. I can say that I truly enjoyed being at the seminar, and was so grateful that I had the opportunity to hear Mrs. Titus.

The Dinner Table

2011-11-16T07:32:00.001-06:00

{If you went to the link I shared yesterday for Devi Titus you heard a bit of what she talked about regarding the table principal. She also has a book that thoroughly covers the topic so much better than my summary ever could.}

As they began the second speaking time, and I learned the topic, I truly thought to myself, "I so could have slept in!" I thought I had this down because dinner at the table with my family is very important to me. But just as with the "keeper of the home" affirmation, she confirmed my dinner time decision and gave me reasons to help me understand why it is so important.

If you went to the link I shared, then you know about the table in front of the holy of holies. The table where the Bread of the Presence is placed by the Levites. The table where the blood of the sacrifice was brought. I have read through this section of the Bible many times, and let me assure you I scanned through those words as quickly as I could. It didn't make sense to me, nor did it seem to matter because that was Old Testament. That was the temple of old. Thank the Lord He puts people who know better in position to truly read His Word so they can remind us and teach us how every part of it is important. As Mrs. Titus explained the use and purpose of this table, and all the things that sat on it I was a little astonished. To understand that this was the place where redemption happened was informative, but to learn how it affected me now was amazing.

When my oldest was working at Whataburger he worked every evening through the dinner hour. It broke me. I absolutely hated that he wasn't at the table with us every single time. It took me a little bit to get used to, and I was thrilled when he got a new job that had him home during that time instead. In my heart I knew it was important that we all be there as often as possible, and Captain has always known and stressed the importance of sitting at the table as often as possible. We just couldn't tell you the why's. (Or I couldn't.)

As Mrs. Titus explained how just as the table in front of the holy of holies was for redemption, so was the dinner table my heart sang a little. To sit there and eat together, talk together, face one another... all so important in connecting and sharing. It helps bring redemption for that day. It helps share the joys of the day. It helps bear the burdens of the day. I wanted to shout, "YES!" until I realized that while I had the idea down I wasn't executing it like I should.

You see, youngest is a slow eater. S-L-O-W. No one is quite sure how it happens, but he can have nearly an entire plate of food in front of him when the rest of us are getting up from the table. Oh yes, there have been many a meal where he was left at the table by himself. You see, I was severely lacking in regards to respecting the people at my table. Why did I think it was so important to be there together if I wasn't going to stay there with one another? My heart was convicted that I was not helping my youngest be redeemed because I was leaving him there.

After I got back home I made a commitment. Not out loud. Not to my family verbally. But to God. I would try to have bread at ever meal to remind me of His Presence at our table, and I would sit and share and talk as long as it took the slowest person to eat. I don't know if anyone has even realized these changes, and let me tell you pizza night is around the television so I am not legalistic about it. For me it's a matter of respecting the family, the dinner table, the connection, and making sure that whether oldest comes in after supper or before supper, as he eats he feels heard and reconnected to the family. It's a matter of youngest knowing that someone will be with him there to share that time however long it takes. It's a matter of sharing that time with Captain. It's a matter of remembering that the Lord is with us at the table redeeming us and our days.

"The value of the home should not be traded for anything else."

Life can get busy, and meals can be missed, and I will never be legalistic about the dinner table. Some days it simply isn't going to happen, some seasons even. We just need to make sure that when that season is upon us that we are still finding a way to connect and redeem each other. If it's not at the dinner table, then when are you sitting eye to eye talking about life, the day, and each other's thoughts? When are you bringing redemption to relationships, days, times, people? How are you reconnecting with one another because that family unit is so important?

Define "Keepers at home"

2011-11-15T13:38:00.001-06:00

The weekend before last I attended a seminar at a church I used to attend. The speaker was Devi Titus, and the three things she spoke on affirmed, confirmed, and encouraged me in the way only God can. In the next few days I want to share with you what Mrs. Titus shared with us and how God used her words to touch my heart.

The first thing I will be talking about is the phrase "keepers at home." Now, take a deep breath and jump in with me, please. I think you will like what I've learned.

Do a web search on the phrase "keeper of their homes" and I can tell you what you will generally find. Either people exclaiming that this means women should stay at home, or people exclaiming why it doesn't mean that. In all my reading, listening, and hearing I have never heard the phrase explained the way Mrs. Titus explained it.

Now, first thought on what she said affirmed me. It let me know that what I had been doing was right and the decisions I was making actually had a solid basis. Second thought, I knew that if this was unlike what I had heard before it wasn't necessarily wrong, but I needed to dig in a little before I simply took it at face value.

Boy was I shocked!!

(King James) Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
(NIV) Titus 2:5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God

I was surprised that the phrase changed so much from the King James to the NIV. Now, at first glance there is no difference but what Mrs. Titus challenged us in is how we define the phrase. My question was, did KJ or NIV truly represent what the writer meant? My problem was that I only own a concordance for the NIV so I can't research the keeper at home phrase. Thankfully others have done that, and through their research and my own of the NIV this is where I ended up.

The Greek word is oikouros which is DEFINED as domestically inclined in my concordance. While feeling a little bit as if I were splitting hairs, yet following the lead of others I found online, oikouros comes from two words: oikos and ouros. The first means house, dwelling, family and the second means keeper, watcher, guardian. When the word is split it seems to favor the KJ translation, but for some reason when combined they defined the word to mean domestically inclined. This confused me, and please know that the irony considering my "Define 'day'" post does not escape me. The experts say it means domestically inclined then I shouldn't argue that, right? Well, maybe, but it simply doesn't make sense.

You see, if you look up the other ways "keeper" is used in the NIV it is in grand ways. Keeper of the gold, keeper of the armory, keeper of the wardrobe, keeper of the gate, keeper of the money bag, keeper of the king's forest. And one other... "Am I my brother's keeper?" Now, I wish there was someone or somewhere I could go to for the answer of "why did this phrase change in Titus?" Because for me, now, at this point, keeper of the home is something much grander than busy at home. It's not about housework, or working outside the house, or homeschooling, or cleanliness, or anything of that sort... and it's all about those things as well.

The same word used for keeper was also defined as watchman and watcher. Consider the watchman on the wall. What was his goal? To keep a keen eye out to alert the city for any trouble. To keep that trouble out of the city through protection and warning. If we keep the items I listed above, is it not similar? Are they not protecting the gate, money bag, king's forest? Was that not why Cain whined? "Why should I watch out for/protect my brother?" Now, take all of this into consideration and lay it in the phrase "keeper of the home."

Mrs. Titus said that our responsibility is to make sure that our home is filled with peace and love and to protect it and those in it from anything which wishes to disrupt that peace and love. We stand at the door to our home and we send an alarm when we see something that may bring harm. We warn those inside the home when we see trouble lurking. We set boundaries to keep that peace and love within our home safe and secure, so that those living and growing in the home (regardless of age or maturity) are safe and secure.

"The home is where the heart is formed."

In order to form the heart in a healthy manner we have to protect it, guard it. We are the keepers of the home. Our enemies are chaos, hurt, bitterness, anger, frustrations, provocations. Our helpers are discipline, order, love, peace, joy. We have to do what we need to do in order to protect our homes and family and that is going to look different for each address.

It has nothing to do with working in or outside of the house, unless that becomes your first priority and everything else falls to the wayside.
It has nothing to do with housekeeping and organization, unless things are so disorderly that you have created a small universe of chaos where you can't stay healthy.
It has nothing to do with a type of schooling unless you have abdicated your role as parent to someone else.

We have to work it out in our own lives, but how much more exciting is it to be a keeper at home when we define that by guard, protector, and watchman? And mind you, it's not that we need to make the Word of God exciting, but maybe when we get to the heart of what the words mean sometimes it does make a difference?

This was affirmation for me because I have always felt that it was important how this house was run. From how people behaved in it, to how clean it was, I knew within my heart that it was important to me and the others in the home. It also affirmed some decisions I made about protecting that peace and love in my home. I would much rather see this as a purpose that God has given me in taking care of my home and family, rather than simply in keeping house. It's deeper, more meaningful, and something I can truly stand on and behind. It helps me make my decisions and gives me something to fall back on when I might begin to waiver. And it doesn't cause divisiveness between Christians who are all trying to follow Christ in their best ability and calling. It allowed me to take a deep breath.

If you are curious you can read Mrs. Titus' thoughts on the matter here.

The Purpose of Truth

2011-11-13T14:42:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I didn't actually look to see how long it had been when I posted, so "Touching Base" seemed to be an accurate description of where I was. It seemed like days since I had written anything, and I felt a little out of touch with my current topic. After I posted I was a little stunned to see that I had only missed one day. One. It doesn't seem like one day off needs a "touching base" post, but you see that wasn't how I felt things were. I was living under an assumption which was wrong, and then I acted on it.
This is the perfect example of everything that I have been saying about living a life of (lowercase t) truths. But is it simply about knowing when the last time I wrote was, or is it more than that?

So, honestly... I have been struggling. So many times I get an idea, I expound on it a little, and then I want to move on to the next thing. Or build on it before the foundation is set. I think that is what I have done with this topic. I feel as if I am ready to run and be free with this topic, but I know I'm not really ready. You see, like so many relationships in my life, I want my relationship with God to be instantaneously intimate. God brought this to my attention in this last week and I was stunned to realize how true that was. My first reaction was to say there was nothing wrong with it. But you see, there is.

If my relationship with God doesn't grow, then somewhere in me something is missing. If I miss those steps then the foundation isn't sure and true. Just like a relationship with a person, if I jump to step 10, steps 1-9 are going to trip me up.

What I want: to live a steadfast live with God.

What I have: a desire to learn scripture; a growing relationship with God.

What I have is good, and growing to what I want is better, but pretending I am already there serves no purpose to anyone. My goal of learning scripture has been one I have attempted time and time again, but I always got frustrated, and out of that grew the lie that I can't memorize scripture. I was basing that on the fact that I didn't know everything I needed to know instantaneously, and my frustration came because I saw the # of verses I knew as a goal. I forgot that it is a process; one that I grow with over time and one that is simply a step towards something even better.

The goal of learning His Word simply moves me towards a closer relationship to God. Anything that keeps me from having that relationship with God is something that needs to be focused on, and God will show me what steps to take to clear the path between me and Him. But if I simply learn scripture to be more knowledgeable I have missed the mark completely.

I'll be honest, I'm not there yet, not like I want to be. I hope what I have said is true and right. Maybe I'm off. Maybe I am simply ignorant and naive. I have to believe that His Word has the power he says it does. I have to believe that it will make a difference in my mind, heart, and in our relationship. And so I take that first step towards a better relationship with God, by letting him show me the Truth which needs to be learned first.

Psalm 19:7-9

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;

the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;

the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;

the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;

the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether.

Touching Base

2011-11-12T16:35:00.001-06:00

No, I haven't given up on the steadfast mind. To be honest, I got distracted for a couple of days as my mind wandered to standing firm and having a sound mind, but I will be back to the steadfast mind soon. I realized this morning in my quiet time that having a steadfast mind isn't enough. There's more to it! Imagine my surprise. ;)

I have also gotten distracted with Christmas, and yes I am aware that Thanksgiving is still 2ish weeks away. I am not skipping over it. But once upon a time in the land of before kids I used to have my planning and buying for Christmas done before Thanksgiving. It is my goal once again, though I think some buying may be put off until afterwards so that I don't fall into a marathon I'm not prepared for in these next 2 weeks! I've talked about this twice over at Today's Housewife, but I have to be careful about not stalling out.

I hope you are well, and I thank you for dropping by to see if anything is new. Soon I'll be back to talking about the steadfast mind. I'm still very excited about this topic!

A Similar Break

2011-11-10T06:30:00.000-06:00

Because I have learned I need time to truly understand and consume new ideas so that they become part of who I am, thank you 31 Days, I am taking time to really go over the idea of a steadfast mind. I thought I would digest today instead of writing, but I do have some things to share which have impacted me lately.

I have crossed paths with a few links that have hit the same topic but differently, and a song that I am simply loving these days. (I shared the video on facebook as well, so if you caught it over there this is a repeat.) I just love singing this song at church, and God stuck it in my brain yesterday morning when I woke up. SO MUCH better than the usual crud that goes on in there. The links are each talking about renewing your mind, and the way we think. Hope you enjoy!

Change your story, Change your life

From Sad to Glad

Dealing With Shame

What is the Truth?

2011-11-09T08:17:00.002-06:00

So, our minds keep wandering and can't seem to stay focused on trusting God? Why is that? Generally it is because we are living with lies we have lived with our entire life. It is not easy to get rid of them. It takes work and power, as Mrs. Moore says, divine power. Now, we do have that power and we are told this is where our fight is. But I'm betting there are a bunch of people out in this world just like me. I know the Truth in my head, but my heart knows this "truth" I have lived with forever, and when the two come up against each other I just crumble. This is why it is so important to memorize scripture.

Our own perspective is so very flawed. If I don't learn and know the Truth then the lies can masquerade as truth and I wont be able to fight them. I may not even know I need to fight them. Let me tell you, some of the strongest lies are those which have an ounce of Truth in them.

One of my points of bondage is worrying about what people think. I want to please others. I want them to be proud of me. I struggle if someone is mad at me or doesn't like me. One of the truths of this world is that not everyone will be liked. I twist this to be no one likes me. You can see how this could be a gigantic circle that I can get lost in. I try to deny and say, "No they like me, they do" but the lie creeps up again within a matter of time and I find myself stressing about whether they like me or not. Do they approve of me? What can I do to make them happy? I tell myself I should do everything in my power to live peaceably with everyone and to try to be everything to everyone so that I am not the problem. And this is very often when I become the problem. So I swing on this pendulum that goes from "Do everything to make people happy" to the other side of "Ignore everyone and don't worry about them." The truth lies in the middle but how am I ever to find it?

Romans 12:18 "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

Do you see the difference between what Truth says and what my mind was telling me? That small difference can send you spiraling into yourself before you even know what has happened. And yet, even now I can hear myself telling me that I am looking for loopholes. Even sitting here looking at the Truth of what that verse says.

Or we tell ourselves that we have to love everyone. And by love, of course, I mean be the best friend of, be there to pick someone up, to support, and to give a helping hand whenever needed. We have to get along with everyone regardless of who they are or what they have done. It feels wrong, so we tell ourselves that is Satan trying to tempt us not to be loving. I have done this for eons. And last night God gave me truth through Mrs. Moore's video at the study.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

Did you see that?? There are some people we should avoid. And let me tell you, the lie I have lived with most of my life wants to EXPLAIN THIS AWAY. But I am holding on tight to this scripture because it is Truth!

This is why it's so important to memorize scripture. Scripture is Truth, and without that we can only rest in our own knowledge which is weak at best and warped at worst. Our own truth will keep us in the see saw of turmoil and strife and our mind will never be steadfast because it isn't rooted in Truth.

A Steadfast Mind: Define the problem

2011-11-08T08:06:00.002-06:00

This study came about because I am currently doing Beth Moore's study, Breaking Free. In week 10 of the updated book she covers a Steadfast Mind and her understanding of how to have it. I knew that for me to have a steadfast mind I needed to do a little study on my own.

Over the years this has been something that I have continually struggled with. Everything would be fine, life would be good, and yet I would feel the heaviness on my chest as if a monkey were sitting there. I always thought it was simply because I wasn't focused enough, so my mind would run free. I would notice it especially when I went to write, because all I wanted to do was complain and have a pity party. Doing the 31 Days I thought it wouldn't be a problem because I was focused on a particular subject, but I found that the feelings and heaviness came anyway. The focus simply helped me work around it a little.

When I begin to study a concept my first step is always to look in my concordance for the use of the word. "Steadfast" is only used 8 times in the NIV Bible, and it has three different words that it is derived from. In Psalm 51:10, 57:7, 108:1, 112:7, and 119:5 the original Hebrew word is "kun" which means to be established, set in place, to be made firm, be attached, be steadfast. In Psalm 111:8, and Isa 26:3 the original word is "samak" which means to sustain, uphold, be braced, be steadfast, to strengthen, refresh. And in 1 Peter 5:10, the only instance in the New Testament, the word is themelioo which means to lay a foundation, to make steadfast. This word is also used 4 other times in the New Testament, but is translated as established (Eph 3:17, Col 1:23), foundation (Matt 7:25), and laid the foundations of (Heb 1:10).

I also define the word out of a traditional dictionary, and generally I use my older one because it is a favorite and the definition I found in there was simply "firmly fixed, constant, not moving or changing." I also looked it up in the Websters and for some reason I liked it better though it said nearly the same thing, "fixed in direction; steadily directed."

I liked the idea that being steadfast is something done while moving, and something that you are directed to do. I think, as usual, I have been trying to do this on my own way too long. I simply thought that if I kept focused then I would be able to free myself, but I think I am going to have to face the fact that it is something God brings me as I work towards it. I promise, I'm not trying to make it harder than it is.

When I looked up all the scriptural references of the word I found that it was

asking God for a steadfast spirit
praising God for giving us a steadfast spirit
proclaiming God's steadfastness
proclaiming the blessings of the steadfast man
a plea to be steadfast
a reminder that God will make us steadfast

Isaiah 26 and Psalm 112 are the two verses that stood out to me in the sense that they both said that the mind/heart is steadfast when we trust in God. Now, this is the moment where I say, "But I DO trust in God." And I do, but I'm like the father whose son needed to be healed, "Help my unbelief."

Mrs. Moore has steps to take at this point to get you from being in bondage to being free. Are they steps we take? Yes, but God is truly doing the work. You see, what we have to do is replace the thing that keeps us all tied up in knots (the lies) with God's scripture (the Truth).

While I needed to know the lies I was in bondage to, I have to admit that this is where I truly fell down all the time for one of the biggest lies ever. "I cannot memorize scripture."

Define "day"

2011-11-07T09:44:00.000-06:00

This morning I had planned on starting to study and share what I learn about "a steadfast heart." I may yet post again today. I also want to eventually share everything I learned over the weekend. I felt so confirmed, affirmed, and guided by the "retreat" that I attended, and I can't wait to share that. If you want a head start on this information, because it will be a while before I do get to it, then head over to Devi Titus's website. Very good stuff there. But right now what I want to "share" or at least keep here for myself, is a bit of an email I wrote to a friend discussing an article by Jim Denison. I crack myself up at how easily I will argue some experts, but that is me. I never have understood why their interpretations should be more important or more right than mine. Feel free to shoot holes in what I have written, as I told my friend, it makes me think.

While I firmly believe that the Bible is not a science book, I also firmly believe that it doesn't lie about science. And while I believe the purpose of the book is not to explain creation but Christ, it does explain much of creation that can be taken literally. My problem with saying that "day" does not mean "day" would be what I proposed at the class yesterday. God was explaining creation to man. He was telling his story to be passed down. He chose the word "day" after there was day and when people knew what day meant. In my mind, if he had truly wanted to leave the time open he would have said, "First... second... third..." and so on. He chose the word, and while the common comment to that is that it means "period of time" that's not entirely true. It has been interpreted to mean many different things. So, if we are now going to pick and choose what term actually should fit into Genesis we need to remember that we can also choose lifetime, period, reigns, as long as, day after day, annual, every day, many years, since, very old, or younger. Of course it depends on what other Hebrew words it is combined with, and not being a Hebrew scholar, though respecting the difficulty the Hebrew language brings to it's interpretation, I am curious why we would not agree with the Hebrew scholars who have interpreted the word as "day" rather than "period of time"? Even The Message, which is an interpretation that does take the culture and vernacular into consideration states "Day one. Day two. Day three" etc. It is my understanding that the only way the Hebrew culture defines day differently than us is that their day was from sundown to sundown while ours is sunrise to sunrise. It was the same amount of time.

Now, does it matter? I do believe it does. For salvation, of course not. And I do not think anyone should try to argue this in order to "save someone". But there are times when people use this as a road block to their salvation. They say that they simply can't believe in Christ because they can't believe in creation. Especially not a 6 day literal creation. How do we handle this? I have before swept the idea away by saying that it didn't matter how we defined day, and I regretted that. Because then it got to be what do we take literally and what do we put our own definition to? The small steps we took away from the literal translation of God's word seemed to keep growing bigger and bigger. If we are going to err on the side of being to far from God's word or being to close to it, I will err on being to close. I do know that my interpretation and translation of the Hebrew and Greek language is far from professional, and that is why I have a tendency to fall back on what the professionals did when they translated the original for us to read in English. There is much in God's word that seems wild and unbelievable. Did a city wall truly fall by people walking around it for seven days? Did the sun truly stand still? Did it move backwards? Did the flood truly happen? What about the parting of the red sea or the many other bodies of water? Where do we simply say that God's ways are bigger than ours, and if this is what He said happened then I believe it?

Do we spend too much time debating the facts of creation? Possibly. Is there a way to move people away from this debate to talk about the heart of the matter, God? I am sure there is. But I simply don't believe it is by saying "day" doesn't mean "day." Ask someone why they can't possibly believe that "day" means "day." When there is a problem with interpreting that word, it is generally because they want evolution to fit into the Bible. Even the heart of the matter of this debate is not how to define that single word, but what else they want to fit into that time period. As I have said before, death did not come until after the fall, so there is no way that evolution, whether defined by the scientific community or the biblical version, there is no way that evolution could have occurred. And to me, that is why it is important not to simply sweep the matter of "day" under the carpet.

Color Inspiration

2011-11-06T06:30:00.000-06:00

I've picked up the hook again and am busy making afghans. I'll also be making quilts again soon once the sewing maching is done with other things. I'm so excited about these blankets, and sometimes the yarn and material truly speak to me in how they should be used. Sometimes I need a little help with color, however, and this website is amazing for that. The idea is simple enough I could do it on my own with pictures I like, but right now I use what they do. I found them through Pinterest and I thought I would share just in case someone else was looking for a little color inspiration themselves.

Design Seeds:: For All Who Love Color

New month of menus

2011-11-05T06:30:00.000-05:00

Remember when I was talking about all the new recipes I was trying? And then I told you I was going to write up a month of menus to make it easier on me. Well, God brought us a little challenge which put us into action. Knowing God was in control was a mind saver, but we knew there were some cutbacks that needed to be made, groceries among the many. You see, all those amazing recipes that I was making tasted really good, but were a little more expensive than required at this time. So, I came up with a new plan. One that is WAY more inexpensive but still has variety and yummy food included. Interested?

Week 1

Saturday:: Beef Soup

Sunday:: Mexican Beans and Rice

Monday:: Sausage and Tortillas

Tuesday:: Pizza

Wednesday:: Meatloaf

Thursday:: Chicken in garlic sauce

Friday:: Pizza Pasta

Week 2

Saturday:: Hamburgers

Sunday:: Refried Bean Tacos

Monday:: Enchilada Casserole

Tuesday:: Pizza

Wednesday:: Turkey Roast

Thursday:: Sausage and rice Casserole

Friday:: Chili

Week 3

Saturday:: Tatertot Casserole

Sunday:: Chicken Tacos

Monday:: Sausage and Potatoes

Tuesday:: Pizza

Wednesday:: Spaghetti

Thursday:: Chicken Soup

Friday:: Mexican Chicken Alfredo

Week 4

Saturday:: Hamburgers

Sunday:: Hamburger Tacos

Monday:: Potato Soup

Tuesday:: Pizza

Wednesday:: Chicken Enchiladas

Thursday:: Hamburger Macaroni and Cheese

Friday:: Sausage and Pasta

These are all fairly inexpensive meals, which, when included with the side dishes, basics, and the house items as well, cost about 100 dollars a week. I'd like to bring it down from there, but I'm just starting. It does help that I stock up at Sams at least once a month, which is like another week of groceries though. On the upside, approximately 7 of these make two dinners so that I have some food in my freezer, nearly all of the recipes can be extended if I have company come over, and if I add bread and a salad along with the side dish there is always more than enough food whatever is being served.

Do you have any favorite inexpensive meals? Because I am me there are invariably weeks I throw something to the wind and try something new. I'd love to know what your family's favorites are.

Steadfast Mind

2011-11-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

My bible study is going over "steadfast mind" this week and how to have one. This is something I need to learn, apparently. I noticed it mostly in the 31 days, how my feelings fluctuated through the month.

One day I know God's love, I am entrenched in His Truth, and I am sure. The next day I feel as if I am in a cloud of ick. Not one thing has changed.

Except I have imagined that people think badly of me. No one has SAID anything, this is in my mind. I have worked it out. It's what I think.

And then I realize that I am in the middle of that ick and I can't shake it.

I tell myself I made it up. I tell myself it's not the Truth. I tell myself that it wouldn't matter if it were true. And yet I feel stuck in the mud and mire and I wonder where that steadfast mind is and why doesn't Truth make the difference I think it should. Why don't I allow it the power it truly has?

How do you keep a steadfast mind?

God's love is personal.

2011-11-02T08:25:00.000-05:00

I used to live this without knowing it, and then somewhere I got the idea that I was being selfish and childish and naive. I think that thinking goes hand in hand with the idea there isn't enough in this world. That we have to limit how much person A has in order to make sure person B gets their fair share.

But the truth of the matter is God's love is abundant. As is his provision and protection. And though different things affect people in different ways, if it is a blessing for me to get in the car right before the rain starts, then it is God's love to me in that moment.

Because God loves me personally. And He loves you personally. And everything that happens is a personal note of love.

Because, if it's not personal, then what is it?

31 Days of Being Still: The Last Day

2011-10-31T08:02:00.001-05:00

The Last Day

I didn't want a friend to drink coffee with

I heard tell of a Savior ~ a Judge.

I heard rumor of a man

with a Father's love.

I heard that it was tangible

and tough.

I needed a relationship

I could count on.

I needed to know

He was there.

But who am I to ask

I am nothing

He is the Creator of the World

I am ashes

He is eternal

I am sinful

He is holy.

But He knew that I sought Him

and knew this was no game
and didn't even need to come when I called.

For He was here all along

waiting

patiently

lovingly

kindly

waiting for me to see

to hear

to know

And all I had to do was

be still.

Your grace and mercy astound me

Your love knows no depth

Your kindness to remember

Your generous patience

Your second chances

I know I don't deserve

but You give

and I thank You.

I will rejoice in Your constant assurance

I will rejoice in Your day

I will rejoice in the knowledge

that You love me anyway

31 Days of Being Still:: Other Series

2011-10-30T07:43:00.001-05:00

There were over 700 bloggers who signed up to do the 31 Days project. Nearly 750! It's crazy how something that starts with 8 bloggers one year can explode in such a manner the very next. But I think that's the main idea of Chatting at the Sky's series. One person can make a difference.

I wanted to share some of the series that I have been following through these 31 Days.

Life in Grace:: 31 Tips to Rebuilding Your House and Heart
A La Mode:: 31 Days of Real
Becky's Healthy Life:: 31 Days on a Plant-Based Diet
Fresh Brewed Writer:: 31 Days of Writing
Big Red Kitchen:: 31 Days of The Art of Wearing Your Fat Jeans
Jessica Lynette:: 31 Days of Romance
This Life I Live:: 31 Days of Discipline
Simply Staci:: 31 Days to Becoming a Better Baker
One Ordinary Day:: 31 Days of Rest
Kimberly Renee:: 31 Days of Artfully Letting Go
Just Another Day in Paradise:: 31 Days to Becoming A Joyful Wife & Mother
Grace Covers Me:: 31 Days of Love Letters
Critty Joy:: 31 Days of Becoming
Choosing Love:: 31 Days to Feeling Loved
Caroline Teselle:: 31 Days of Our Lives
Brown Sugar Toast:: 31 Days of Building Your Marriage

Please go check these bloggers out. While I was a lurker with occasional comments they each have so much to say and there is so much to learn from their words.

31 Days of Being Still:: Thanks.

2011-10-29T07:36:00.001-05:00

Nesting Place:: 31 Days of Lovely Limitations

Chatting at the Sky:: 31 Days to Change the World

Beauty and Bedlam:: 31 Days to Balancing Both Beauty and a Budget

The Mom Creative:: 31 Days of Memory Keeping

The Inspired Room:: 31 Days of Inspired Holidays

Reluctant Entertainer:: 31 Days of Warm Connections

Life With My 3 Boybarians:: 31 Days of Photo Tips

Remodeling This Life:: 31 Days of the Little Things

If it weren't for these 8 girls opening up their 31 Days I don't know that I would have done this series. Sometimes you need someone to open the door and invite you in, even if it's a group invitation, and so thank you. Thank you for inviting the rest of us to be a part of this with you.

31 Days of Being Still:: Friday Lessons

2011-10-28T08:21:00.000-05:00

This is the last Friday of the month. I have learned a lot about myself and God during this period. Not just from being still, but also the various books, emails, and blog posts I have read during this time. Discussions have ensued, writing has taken place, and lessons have been learned. I am sure some have been taken more to my heart than others, for I'm human and foolish at times.

The one thing I know about being still is that God calls us to it. From time before Hezekiah and after, people have been called to "Be still and know I am Lord" and sometimes we have heeded His words, and sometimes we have rebelled from them. We have all the reason in the world to rely on God and yet so often we don't. So often we panic. So often we fear. So often we try to do things our own way. If being still makes me more reliant on my Heavenly Father, then it is a step I must take. It wont necessarily continue to look the way it has for the past month, but then I'm hoping I wont look the same asa well.

Psalm 46:10-11

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

31 Days of Being Still

(A little background here and here)
The Psalm
Vulnerable
Moving On From The Past
The List
How Should This Be Done?
Expectations
Friday Lesson
A Short Video
Remember
Attacker
Good
Complaints
Time To Do Business
Friday Lesson and Request
Second Chances
Worry
Fear
Doubt
Out Of Control Circumstances
When Others Have Hurt
Friday Lessons
Refrain
Put It Into Practice
Daily
Seeking
Summarizing the How
Summarizing the Why

31 Days of Being Still:: Summarizing the Why

2011-10-27T08:36:00.000-05:00

Source: diosmudanzas.tumblr.com via Stacey on Pinterest

Eleven reasons why I will continue to find ways and times to be still before the Lord my God:

God loves me.
Psalm 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
God will always be with me.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
God will provide for me.
Luke 12: 24 Consider the ravens; they neither sow nor reap. they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!
God will bless me.
Acts 3:26 God, having raised up his servant, sent him to you first, to bless you by turning every one of you from your wickedness.
God will give me rest.
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
God will strengthen me.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
God will delight in me.
Proverbs 11:20 Those of crooked heart are an abomination to the Lord, but those of blamless ways are his delight.
God will rejoice over me.
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a might one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
God will guide me.
Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
God will go before me.
Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
God will answer me.
Psalm 86:7 In the day of my trouble I call upon you [God], for you answer me.

This is not all encompassing, but rather a short list I found on the internet with a few additions and changes that I made along the way. I played with the idea of coming up with 31 reasons, but maybe that should be a series for another day.

31 Days of Being Still:: Summarizing the How

2011-10-26T07:58:00.001-05:00

I realized the other day that I didn't pick a very good topic. I missed somewhere that it should be something I am passionate about. Considering this was an exercise in experimentation of being still I couldn't have had much passion about this 26 days ago. However, here I am near the conclusion to the experiment. I am afraid I am leaving you hanging with an anti-climatic ending. Forgive me.

I have learned that there is no formula that you should follow in order to be still before the Lord. It isn't a place, time, or event. Beth Moore spoke on her video yesterday of taking time to rest and be still while listening to some Christian music which spoke to her heart. She said she could feel the Lord washing over her and bringing her peace. That sounded lovely to me, and it may be something I end up doing one day. I read in Amy Grant's biography that she starts each day reciting Psalm 118:24 wrapped in a blanket standing on her porch, if I remember correctly. I have tried that, but it didn't quite hit the mark for me. I know people who lie prostrate on the ground next to their bed before they ever get to the bathroom, others who journal their hearts out and get responses in their writing, some who sit with their coffee on the back porch and watch as the sun rises, and quite a few who speak with God as they are taking care of the littles in the morning.

When you hear about how others create a space for them and God alone it is tempting to try it out. See if it works. The important part is to not keep doing it if it doesn't work for you.

Maybe each day is as unique as each person. Maybe we will find new ways to carve out space to be still in each day. Maybe we will continue the same pattern that speaks to our heart and feels fresh each day. The how of being still is so personal because it has to fit your personality. There is no formula on how it should be done.

Unless... have you found a formula in the Bible in how it should be done? Because I would love to know if so. The only thing that I have found is that it is more a matter of the heart than the body, though they can, and often do, go hand in hand.

31 Days of Being Still:: Seeking

2011-10-25T08:02:00.000-05:00

When I began this journey I wondered if I would get a whisper or a miracle. The audacity extounds me. It's not that I don't expect God to be there, but I am realizing that my expectations may very well limit God.... and me.

The first week of my "being still" the journal was not written during the time. I didn't put my thoughts out, or my worries down. I simply sat and stared into space. Waiting. My notes were what followed that time. They were about what happened, or what I thought, or what I feared. On the 4th day I wrote, "How is this time any different than me staring off into space if it's unfocused?"

The second week things changed. I started writing during my "being still" time. Did this break the rule? I feared it may, but it helped me focus more. But I had to be careful because I had a tendency to write without thinking. There is a time to spill my guts, but this was time to listen. On day 10 I wrote, "I think because I give you 10 minutes time you're going to give me all the answers??"

The third week began with me asking myself a hard question, "Am I willing to hear anything from God?" It was also a hard week, but through the struggles I learned how to open my heart to God. I learned how to truly "spill my guts" and wait. But what I really wanted was to have a true relationship with God. Not one faked, mimicking others, or pretending to be other than.

This week is ongoing. I'm still working one day at a time. Just this morning I said, "Sometimes I get lost in how to start." I feel as if I am removing boulders of expectation, perfection, and pride to get to the real path. To get to the real me so that I can have a real relationship with God who is always real.

Will this ever get easy? I don't think so. I think I will constantly fight the little voices inside my head which tell me I am wasting my time. I will struggle with the thought that I am not good enough. I will battle the belief system that God is some great cosmic power who simply doesn't care. But even if it's never easy, I know it's worth it. And so I take the next step, fight the next fight, and listen a little more each day.

Psalm 34:4a

I sought the LORD, and he answered me...

Jeremiah 29:13

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

31 Days of Being Still:: Daily

2011-10-24T08:12:00.002-05:00

I am a planner. If you read through the variety of posts I have here at My Unfinished Daze you will see several dozen on planning and organization. It's not that I'm great at follow through, though sometimes I do hit the mark. It's just that I like to figure things out a few steps ahead.

This doesn't work so well with being still. Just saying.

This is the day the Lord has made...

Give us this day our daily bread...

The people are to... gather enough for that day...

God... daily bears our burdens...

This may not be something huge for someone else to learn, but in being still every morning I am reminded to face this day. To deal with these issues. I guess this goes back to taking care of worry, in a sense, but it's so much more than that as well. As I learn to start each morning waiting on God, the moments of the day open themselves up to waiting on Him as well.

I am reminded not to come up with a dozen scenarios which may or may not happen in order to work through whatever problem may happen and find the best solution. I am reminded to rely on God alone. Not my own wisdom. Not my own strength. Not my own righteousness. Not my own anger. Not my own "rights." Not my own words.

We don't know what will happen tomorrow... we don't even know what will happen the next moment. Our knowledge is more than limited. But God knows the plans He has for us... and so it only makes sense to meet with Him and be still. And make no question about it, He is the one who stills me.

31 Days of Being Still:: Put It Into Practice

2011-10-23T08:50:00.001-05:00

"What if I get through this time and learn nothing!?!"

My morning started with a small anxiety attack brought on by worry and role playing in my mind. By the time I got to my time to be still I was a mess. The first thought I had was the above question. I was so upset because of fear, worry, doubt, feeling out of control, and hurt from someone else. Here I am on day 23 and I am still falling into the same old traps, same old habits. I guess I could simply tack the failure label on again and move forward.

This time, however, I tried to be still in the midst of my panic. I cried out to God, and told him, "I want to just leave it in your hands." That was what I wanted to do. I knew that I could spout all the information I was learning. I could share the insights God was giving me, but if I didn't put it into action then it was all for nought. It wasn't that I hadn't learned anything. It would be that I hadn't put it into practice.

I sat there in the silence, and felt nudged to do my Bible study. I knew my quiet time was not over so I simply set that notebook to the side. That day the study was about obeying God because His rule is right. Trusting God. The tears started again, but differently, and I continued on. When I got to this passage I simply had to stop and put my head on the table as I cried some more.

Isaiah 51:12-13 "I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass, and have forgotten the Lord, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, and you fear continually all day because of the wrath of the oppressor, when he sets himself to destroy? And where is the wrath of the oppressor?"

As I finished my study and pulled my notebook back I realized that God will take care of me in this situation as he did in the situation last week. I don't know what that looks like exactly. I don't know how it will all end up. But I do believe that God is right. I do believe that God is God. And so, while my heart is still calming down, and my soul is more focused on God, the thing that tickles me most is God is changing me. All because I started to be still.

31 Days of Being Still: The Refrain

2011-10-22T07:46:00.002-05:00

Psalm 46 (The Message)

^1-3 God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

^4-6 River fountains splash joy, cooling God's city,
this sacred haunt of the Most High.
God lives here, the streets are safe,
God at your service from crack of dawn.
Godless nations rant and rave, kings and kingdoms threaten,
but Earth does anything he says.

⁷ Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

^8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
breaks all the weapons across his knee.
"Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God,
above politics, above everything."

¹¹ Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

"Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us."

If there was a refrain in this Psalm, that is it.
If there is a verse that summarizes the rest of this chapter, that is it.
If there was a verse to hide into your heart, this is most likely it.

31 Days of Being Still:: Friday Lessons

2011-10-21T08:08:00.000-05:00

It's been a long week. One full of God's mercy.

This past week, we were faced with a financial situation where we found ourselves thanking God for his preparation and pleading to God for help. Much of my quiet time was in trying to be still and wait for God to take care of everything. Though much of my regular time was in trying to fix things.

The problem is, I know there are times that God wants us to do things. I struggle sometimes in knowing when or what. The glorious benefit of being still is that He will nudge us, show us, teach us, if we only stop for a minute to hear. Then when we act we can act on the surety of what we do. Sometimes I did this; other times I reacted out of panic.

God's mercy removed the problem for now, and His grace gave us more time to find the solution. Or maybe I should say wait for the solution?

I, however, have ended up this week feeling quite useless. Questioning everything I try to do. Doubting that anything I do is of any use. And I wonder why I am so focused on me this morning? Why am I listening to all of these words that will do nothing but tear me down?

Did I do anything this past week to fix the situation? No. God took care of it all.
Does that mean I am useless and worth nothing? No. God took care of it FOR us.

I don't know or understand. I'm at a bit of a loss as to why I am where I am this morning.

I'm still doing my morning quiet times, and have actually arranged things so that for most of the days of the week it is the very first thing I do. The weekends run a little differently, but I still get that quiet time in the morning. I realized that I must find a balance of all the things I want to include in my quiet time, because right now it is simply being still and writing to God. I have dropped other things which I need to pick back up.

31 Days of Being Still:: When Others Have Hurt

2011-10-20T08:05:00.000-05:00

When there is someone to blame, it's not any easier. Sometimes we get so lost in pointing fingers at them that we forget to look to God. And He is there waiting to be your Judge.

That phrase, at first blow, makes me want to stand up and yell. It makes me mad, frustrates me, and spins my mind. When I first read that God wants to be my judge in situations where I was hurt by someone else, I cried out because I didn't understand.

Now, I understand and it has changed (or is changing) how I see things.

Romans 12:19

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath,

for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

I will admit, that I used to see this as a light hearted issue. I never really truly directed God's vengeance to situations that more likely than not deserved them. Instead, if I was having an argument with someone, and I wanted them to agree with me because I thought I was right, if they suddenly hit their head, tripped while walking, or a child accidentally threw a toy at them, it was a "sign from God" that I was right and God was making it clear. It would always be followed with a "Thank you, Lord" and a short giggle. I never meant it maliciously, towards the person, or disrespectfully, towards God.

This month I read A Cry for Justice by Shelley Hundley and learned a more serious aspect of God taking his wrath out on someone. Whether you have been ignored, betrayed, abandoned, or abused in any manner of speaking, this book will bring a light onto your pain, and your God*. At least it did for me.

God is a God of Justice as much as He is a God of Love. In fact, they go together. He loves you so much, that He simply does not abide anyone hurting you. That person will have to pay the price. Just like we have to pay the price of our actions, but as Christians we are redeemed from that payment because Christ made it for us on the cross. We wont have to bear the full brunt of God's wrath because we are no longer condemned. But those people who have hurt you in so many ways will have to face God and his wrath if they do not know Christ as their savior.

I can say that this has made me fearful for those who have hurt me. I want them to be saved as well, if they aren't already, and if they are I am so grateful for their sake. This fact, that God will take revenge for me, has not made me more eager to see someone fall under God's wrath, but it has made me more eager for them to know God fully as their Judge as well.

So, when you find yourself sitting in a world of hurt, angry at those people who have done their best to destroy you, remember that you aren't alone. Be still, quiet your mind and move your focus from people to God. You will find him, by your side, in your pain, reminding you that He will Judge those who have hurt you, and He will not leave you forsaken.

Psalm 46:4-6

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

*The first part of Mrs. Hundley's book covers this topic. The second part talks about her prophecy and I almost wish she had made it two books. I have linked to a better review of the book.

31 Days of Being Still:: Out of Control Circumstances

2011-10-19T08:16:00.004-05:00

When things happen in life and there is no one to blame, it can be difficult. We WANT someone to blame. We want to point fingers. But in reality so much happens simply because it's part of life. No one to blame. Just the circumstances we find ourselves in.

So many different things can happen in this world. Things we don't see, things we can't hide from.

the car battery dies
everyone is in meetings when you need assistance
you hurt your foot
your husband is laid off
your child is diagnosed with an illness
the baby's diaper explodes in the middle of the store

Small things and big things. One at a time we can usually handle them, but so often they don't happen one at a time. Too often we feel like a snowball running down a mountain which eventually turns into an avalanche that we find ourselves under. At what point do we stop and turn to God? When things start to happen or when things seem out of control?

Right now things seem a little out of control in my life, and I'm having such a difficult time. I want to race ahead and make changes and "do what needs to be done." I want to fix things. But I can't. And I wonder what God is up to.

There is no one to blame. And I don't want to blame God. I want to fix everything. But I don't know what to do. Do I continue to wait on God when it's an avalanche? It's so much easier when it's simply a snowball. The avalanche makes me want to run and scream and get someone to help me. ANYONE.

And then God had me read these verses through my Bible study this morning.

Isaiah 30:15 For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

I desperately don't want to be a rebellious child ignoring the Lord and running for safety elsewhere. And I'll be honest, I feel as if I am "not doing anything" when I try to wait on God. But I have to trust that God WILL show me the way to go in the midst of circumstances that make us feel overwhelmed.

Isaiah 30:21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.

* Please note that all the circumstances in the above list do not represent my out of control circumstances.

31 Days of Being Still:: Doubt

2011-10-18T07:37:00.000-05:00

Maybe this one should have been first of all.

Maybe this is what makes it the hardest of all.

More than not remembering.

Mark 9:24
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

On any regular day I see God all around. I will proclaim His relevance in my life. I will testify to the things he has done.

And then if I am trying to be still and wait for him to move... I doubt.

Will he do anything? I know so many who have struggled. Good and bad happens to everyone.

Will he help me? I can believe he will help others, but can I believe for myself?

What will he do? Will it be something that barely gets us by, will it be in this world or the next, will he wait to see how we respond?

Joshua walked around a city. Shadrach, Meeshach and Abendego walked into the fire. Hezekiah waited. Esther went into the king's presence. Ruth followed Naomi back home. The boy's father went to Jesus for healing for his son.

What is it that you need to believe God will do? Remember you? Take care of you? Love you? He has given us examples in the lives of those in the Bible and in our own life. He has given His Word. We simply have to hold on to what we know and ask for help with the rest.

Lord, help me be still and help me overcome my unbelief.

31 Days of Being Still:: Fear

2011-10-17T07:51:00.001-05:00

If anyone knew fear it was Esther. The difference, I think, between fear and worry is with fear you know there is a possibility of something happening. Esther knew she could die. She knew that the king could choose to end her life, and so she prepared.

Esther 4

⁹Hathak went back and reported to Esther what Mordecai had said. ¹⁰ Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, ¹¹ “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.”

¹⁵ Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: ¹⁶ “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

Esther prepared to face the king, and her fear, after she took time to be still before the Lord. She even asked the rest of the Jews to fast with her. The book of Esther is funny. It doesn't really speak of the Lord. I can only presume that this time she took helped to encourage her. I can only assume that God spoke peace to her during this time. But He may not have. Maybe He was silent. Maybe she waited those three days fasting and at the end of it all she knew was that she still had to go see the king. Maybe she was hoping that God would do something during that time period so that she wouldn't have to. It's all assumptions at this point. What we know is that they fasted, and then she went to see the king.

Fear is a funny thing as well. The definition doesn't help us all that much either. Real or imagined. Feeling or condition. Fear can look a lot like worry, and worry like fear. But when fear has a grip of your heart and stomach you know what it is. And in that moment we need to learn to be still and trust God fully. Whether we get days like Esther, or it is truly a single moment.

Psalm 46

² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

31 Days of Being Still: Worry

2011-10-16T12:39:00.001-05:00

As I begin my times of quiet in the morning I often write in different areas of the page before me. I write my heart to God. I write thoughts that seem answers. I write verses that come to mind. And in one section of the page I write the worries that are keeping me focused on anything but God.

son's arm
quilt
relationship
their relationship
baby girl

This was (somewhat) my list from a few days ago. The list can be known to change, or sometimes remain the same for a few days at a time. I write these things down because otherwise I will become so focused on that worry that I lose track of what my goal is. As I write it out it can turn into a discussion with God, or it can be the release I needed to move on.

I have been known to be gripped by worry. Sometimes I think it goes hand in hand with fear, for I don't think I have ever worried that something good would happen. I welcome those things instead. It's the things that seem bad that we worry over.

Oh we don't want the bad things to happen. If it could all be sunshine and lollipops we would be happy in the rainbow. But the fact is bad things do happen whether we worry about them or not. We can't keep them at bay, and no matter how much we worry when that moment comes we can't get out of it.

It's this moment where we can be still, but I think it must have to be a habit up to that point for us to fall back into it. And so, as worries come into my mind through out the day I stop them and remind myself that God is God. I take a deep breath and am still to listen to what God says rather than the fear. And if I do it through the worry then I can do it in the moment. And that is the only thing I can imagine worry can positively bring to my life.

Matthew 6

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

31 Days of Being Still:: Second Chances

2011-10-15T07:36:00.000-05:00

Psalm 46:7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that God will be with you in troubling times. We know what we have done. We understand the depth of our sins. We have messed up more than once, in small and big ways, and we know that there is no reason for God to be with us, except that He is.

I am enjoying the story at 2 Kings 18. I found myself wanting to write the entire thing out here, which honestly began to distract me a little. So, as I try to refocus, what I would love is if you go refresh your memory of the story, particularly verses 7-8, then 13-16.

Hezekiah told the Assyrians he would no longer pay them tribute, and then they came knocking on his door. What did he do then? He paid the tribute. He took the gold and silver from the palace and the Lord's house to pay the tribute. I wonder if he realized what he had done as he watched them ride off into the sunset with the silver and gold? I think he must have surely realized the truth of the matter somewhere along the way, because when they came back again he sang a different song. In chapter 19 instead of looking for more tribute to hand off, or instead of surrendering to the army, he sent word to Isaiah and headed into the Temple to pray.

What I love about this part of the story is that Hezekiah obviously got scared. When the Assyrians came to his door he panicked and he gave them what they asked for. His fear was great and his trust was in the gold and silver he was handing off. But even though he messed up that time, God did not abandon him the next time. When trouble came knocking again Hezekiah went to God, and the response was not, "Oh, I'm sorry. Your trust and faith wavered. In fact, you completely forgot to trust me and instead trusted that you could take care of everything through gold and silver. Why don't you try using some more of that gold and silver this time and see what happens?" No, the response God sent through Isaiah was much more positive and encouraging.

2 Kings 19:6-7 Isaiah answered them, "Tell your master, 'God's word: Don't be at all concerned about what you've heard from the king of Assyria's bootlicking errand boys—these outrageous blasphemies. Here's what I'm going to do: Afflict him with self-doubt. He's going to hear a rumor and, frightened for his life, retreat to his own country. Once there, I'll see to it that he gets killed.'"

How is this encouraging to US in our times of trouble? Because even if God has told you to be still so you didn't hurt others, even if you chose not to be still and turned away from God instead, when you turn back He is there waiting. Waiting for you to be still and know that He is Lord, yet again.

31 Days of Being Still:: Friday Lesson and Request

2011-10-14T07:56:00.001-05:00

The fact that I am amazed I am nearly half way through with this series is stunning. The time seems to have flown by, so I am surely expecting the last half to be harder. Whether that means it goes slower, or I have to dig deeper, we shall see. I'm expecting the latter, however.

I am so glad that God first showed me all the times that I need to be still for the protection of others. So often I have a tendency to see myself as the one injured when I know very well that I am no innocent dove. I have messed up more times than I care to admit, and am simply grateful that God gives second chances.

Tomorrow I'll talk more about second chances and what that means as we then move into the times we need to be still because we have been the injured parties. I'm going to be treading very carefully through these waters. I have found that the only ones who are allowed to say, "Everyone's hurt is the same," are the ones who have confessed to hurts that are huge. I don't want anyone to feel belittled, less than, more injured, or more hurt. It's just that I have been learning some AMAZING things for those of us who have been hurt, and let me say I do believe everyone HAS been hurt in some way. The thing is we don't have to continue to live hurt.

I have a little request as well. I was wondering if anyone who happens to cross paths with this post who has learned the art of listening and being still would like to share their testimony. I guess that's not a little request, but it doesn't have to be a long essay. I just was hoping that someone may want to encourage others who are just starting this path. If you feel God leading you to share contact me at staceydaze over at gmail and I'm pretty sure you know that's a dot com.

31 Days of Being Still:: Time to do Business

2011-10-13T08:03:00.000-05:00

Another attitude that can keep you from going to God is much like a numbness. It can be there for a variety of reasons, and everyone has their own. This numbness seems to envelope you to the point where you simply do not care one way or the other. About anything. Especially about God.

It's not that you realize you are angry at God, if you were then maybe you could deal with it. No, this is different in the way that it feels. You may as well be the bubble boy living in your own cocoon. Not to change, but just to exist. You go through your days, taking care of what needs to be taken care of, not thinking about much. There is little complaining or grumbling. There is not much joy or happiness. There is no peace.

This life you have been given is your lot. You have been given this hand out of the deck of life, and so you must play on. You get up in the mornings, put your feet on the floor, and trudge on to the next task because that is what must be done.

I don't really know the name of this bubble, but I know how it feels. Some say we get so overwhelmed that we simply shut down. I don't know. What I know is that while we are in that bubble we are very rarely aware that God is with us. If someone told me while I was in the bubble that God was ever present my reaction would most likely be to scoff. Maybe it's being cynical? We simply know that God, if He was truly ever present, would make more of a difference in our life.

We don't realize that we have built what keeps the distance. And that bubble, balloon, or wall... whatever name you give it... it doesn't allow you to be still and know that He is Lord. No, it keeps you busy. It keeps you thinking not about Him but about a bazillion things that don't matter. It keeps a distance so you don't have to face Him for whatever reason you don't want to face Him.

Maybe, when we get like this, it's time to stop everything and be still for an extended period of time to do whatever business we need to do with God. Maybe?

31 Days of Being Still:: Complaints

2011-10-12T07:53:00.000-05:00

Philippians 2:14

Do everything without complaining or arguing

There are a few attitudes that can get in the way of being still. It's not that you need to be still to get rid of them, but it's almost like they block you from being still. One such attitude is complaining and arguing.

Underneath it all, complaining and arguing is a pride and ego issue. We have something we need to do and instead of just doing it we are going to complain about it all the way to the bank and back. We are going to tell everyone who will listen that we aren't happy, we don't want to be there, we don't want to do that, and if you dare question my frustration then I will simply take my anger out on you as well as the situation.

I'm sure you know some people who can't seem to do anything without complaining or arguing. I am sure you know how futile it is to get them to see anything but their own view point in that moment. I know well about this because I have been one who has done it.

As we complain about a situation, or a person, or a circumstance all we are truly doing is building walls. I tell a friend everything that this other person has done wrong, and all they can do is agree with me that the other person is just as I think, or argue with me which depending on my mood may make me madder. They can't help me heal the situation or tell me that their love will make up for the loss of the love of another person. If I complain about a situation to a group of friends they can only agree with me that the situation is hard and I have every right to be miserable. If I am told there may be another reason for this, or that God can use it for good, they may get to hear my exposition on how I need a place to vent to get rid of all these bad feelings. But venting does not get rid of bad feelings. If anything they simply help them grow.

Now let me say something that is very important and necessary: I believe the complaining they are talking about in this verse, and that which keeps you from being still, is when you complain to other people. The grand hope is that as soon as you take your complaints to God you have taken your first step to being still.

He wants to know your heart, to hear how you feel, and to share those moments with you. And as you are talking to him, complaining to him even, you will find that He is listening. We will realize that He is the only one who can truly do anything about the situation. We will realize He is the only one who can really tell us what we should or shouldn't do. And as we work through it all with Him we will find our spirit settling, the complaints growing weaker, and our heart coming to a point where we can truly be still and know that He is Lord.

31 Days of Being Still:: Good

2011-10-11T08:13:00.000-05:00

When things go right, and everything is smooth we have a tendency to climb into our own little world and forget that anything or anybody else exists. You would think we would simply be grateful, but all too often our ego stands up and says, "This is all because of ME!" We forget that God is ever present. We forget that His hand is there. We forget, that even in the peaceful times we need to be still.

Hezekiah's story is full of examples. I have focused on one that was fairly new to me, which was a good example of how we should live life. The story you find in 2 Kings 20 is the one I was always more familiar with, and I'm afraid to say, the one by which I condemned Hezekiah. In 2 Chronicles 32 it simply says that Hezekiah did not respond properly to being healed and became proud. In Isaiah 38-39 you can read more of Hezekiah's response to his illness and healing.

I have to admit, I have often questioned where Hezekiah went wrong. How did he go from being still, to asking God for help, to seeing all that Judah had as his own and showing it off to the Babylonians? Some say that in his Poem of Praise in Isaiah there is a hint. When he says near the end about the dead not being able to praise God and mostly "Think of it—the Lord is ready to heal me!" Hezekiah saw the healing as a response to what good he had done prior to this point. That he was loved more than someone who actually died. My heart falters, because I know that it would be easy to feel the same way if I had been in Hezekiah's shoes. In reality, I have condemned myself every time I condemned Hezekiah.

What would have happened if Hezekiah had stopped and remembered that God is God? Just because things turned out well, did that mean Hezekiah had anything to do with it, or was it our ever present God who had all to do with it? How many times do we pat ourselves on the back when things smooth out a little? How many times do we look at someone else and say, "Things are hard for YOU because you haven't done what I did?!" Oh we are so quick to judge and condemn and see ourselves as grand when God has brought our lives some peace. Maybe the truth of the matter is we need His refuge from ourselves when there seems to be no outside trouble around.

Just this morning I was praising God for an opportunity He has brought me. Perfect timing that made things seem ordained for me to be able to do this. When I had my quiet time I was a little more rattled, less settled, and it was harder for me to be still. I recognized this, but didn't know how to fix it. It seems that it might be just as difficult to be still when God brings "good" as it is when you are panicked because of trouble.

31 Days of Being Still: Attacker

2011-10-10T09:06:00.002-05:00

I stopped in my tracks.

God is ever present. Oh, at first glance I see that as a help to me. A refuge. Our strength. It bolsters me and moves me forward. But at the second blow I realize the other side of the coin, as some say. He is ever present.

Sometimes I need to be still not because I am the defender, but because I am the attacker.

I have been wrong many times in my life. I have judged, attacked, and gossiped. While these struggles are ones that I have also actively fought against, I am weak. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, in the confusion of my mind, or the decision of the day I act in ways that I do not want to. I do things I will later be ashamed of. If I am like Paul in anyway, it is simply because I understand what he meant when he spoke of struggling with what he did and didn't want to do.

I do not dare to think that I could be better than Paul. I just wonder if I was still more often, how much grief would that save me? Save others?

when I grow angry
when I am about to condemn
when I want to judge
when I find gossip to pass on
when I want to exclude to be included
when I am the one others need refuge from

That's when I need to remember God is ever present and can be my strength. To still me. To hush me. To know that God is God and I am about to cross. that. line.

Sometimes I need to be still not to remember that God will protect me, but to remember that God will protect others from me. As sobering as that is, I need to be still, and maybe less protection will need to happen.

31 Days of Being Still:: Remember

2011-10-09T09:16:00.000-05:00

It is so easy to go through your day, trying to tackle what comes your way, and just move along one step at a time without even thinking. It is amazingly simple to fight the hard fight, struggle against those that are wrong, and make your way through each day. It is easy to lose patience, lose your temper, and lose your mind.

In order to be still throughout the day there is one thing you simply MUST do, and that is remember.

We have to remember that

God is in control
We have no control
He wants to help us
His ideas are better than ours
He has unlimited patience and love
He is our strength and refuge
We are weakest when we try to rely on our own strength

The Hebrew word for "Be Still" is rapa, a verb. It means: to hang limp, sink down, be feeble; to be lazy, to lower, discourage; to leave alone, abandon, withdraw; to show oneself slack. Psalm 46 is the only time that rapa is interpreted as "Be Still." The reason we are given to be still is to know that God is God. It's not to simply stop doing something. It's not to simply give up. It's more of a letting go and letting God mentality. Realize that you have no control, and know that God has it all covered.

It's hard. It's hard to do. It's hard to remember to do.
It's changing my way of thinking. It's taking my thoughts captive to Christ.

Yesterday I was terribly feeble. I felt lazy and was discouraged. I wanted to withdraw. And yet, there was no purpose behind that behavior or those feelings. Rather I felt that way because I was trying to do things under my own power. Under my own strength. I forgot that God is God.

When the first bit of bacon sent smoke into the entire house I wanted to give up and cry.
When the second bit of bacon would not cook I just got so frustrated.
When I finally sat down to eat with the family, the hamburgers weren't done as they should have been. I was so angry.

It's just a meal. It's just bacon. What's the big deal? Things went wrong and I was frustrated that I couldn't handle it. I forgot to remember that I can rely on the one who handles it all.

I wonder what I would have been like yesterday if I had remembered to be still throughout the day in order to know that God is God. I think it would have changed my responses.

31 Days of Being Still:: A Short Video

2011-10-08T07:46:00.000-05:00

Psalm 46:1-3 (NIV)
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

I found this video online and while it was made for a youth group I believe that anyone can take away from this. Do you ever still yourself during the day and remind yourself that God is in charge?

What is it that you need to release? Where in your life do you need to be weak?

If Being Still is more than a moment in the morning, then what does it mean exactly?

31 Days of Being Still:: Friday Lesson

2011-10-07T08:26:00.000-05:00

I have learned something over the past week. In a nutshell: the process of "Being Still" is more than sitting quietly for a few moments in the morning.

I'm still fresh into this, and the fact that I have three more weeks to go feels a little daunting, but what I know right now is that "Being Still" is a way of life, not just a way to start your morning. The question then remains why start it out that way?

In the first week I have come to understand for myself that taking some time in the morning to focus on God is a right way to start my day. It helps me prioritize what's important, it helps me bring my focus back to God through the day, and it helps me remember that this day, life, thing isn't about me at all. I simply get to take part in it.

The adjustment of how I saw the day came about because of two things which happened last week. In my Breaking Free bible study, Mrs. Moore talked about her daughter when she was younger and how the little girl stated God let her be part of His day. (I would quote, but honestly I worry about the copyright laws so that's a VERY brief summary.) And then I learned that a friend I had in high school died in a car accident recently. Those things made me realize that each day I am allowed on this earth is a gift and some days are a challenge, but regardless they are from God and I need to remember that from the get go. This is why I will continue taking time every morning to sit and be with God before things get underway.

So, if "Being Still" is more about a lifestyle, I want to delve deeper into that and I hope to do so in the coming week.

31 Days of Being Still:: Expectations

2011-10-06T06:52:00.000-05:00

We wake up every morning with expectations of how the day will turn out. We have our plans, we have an agenda, and as we begin we work towards a certain end. When you meet a friend for lunch you still have expectations. You base what you think will happen on how things have transpired in the past. The length of the lunch, what was ordered, what was shared, how each behaved... what happened before will more than likely repeat. That's why blind dates can be so nerve wracking. You have to leave your expectations behind.

So, what were my expectations coming into this month? What did I think would happen after I spent time being still and quiet before God each morning? Maybe 6 days into this experiment is a little early to flush out the expectations, or maybe it's a little late.

I thought I would be able to focus on God without any problem.
I thought I would extend the time without even noticing.
I thought I would feel refreshed and amazing.
I thought it would make a difference in my day.
I thought I would be able to know something different.
I was scared there would be no difference.
I was scared I would hear nothing from God.
I was scared I would have nothing to say.
I was scared He might actually say something after all.

These expectations and fears have not gone away completely. They are still there under the surface as I talk myself into continuing the experiment and keeping the time of quiet in the morning. I have learned some things, however, in just 6 days. They possibly should have been things I knew already. Maybe I realized them anew?

I have trouble taking my thoughts captive.
I allow my mind to wander more than I realized.
I have a tendency to judge other people's choices.
I have a bit of an entitlement issue.
I both doubt and hope for the same things.

Hezekiah told the people of Judah not to respond to the enemies accusations. I feel a little bit as if I have been told the same thing. Keep on, don't defend or respond, keep your eye on Me. Maybe this is me leaving my expectations behind?

31 Days of Being Still:: How Should This Be Done?

2011-10-05T07:46:00.002-05:00

I wonder if there is a equation to this problem I am trying to solve. What are the factors that I am missing in order to find the solution? Could it be that easy? Does one size fit all? Or am I having to work out this relationship with God because it's between Him and me, and even if I knew what worked for others it wouldn't necessarily work for me anyway?

Do I sit quietly and say nothing?

Should I list out my prayer requests one by one?

Would it be better if I opened my Bible and read first?

How should this be done?

My mind tells me I'm wasting time.

My heart falters at the silence.

My spirit waits for any response.

How should this be done?

Do I praise your name and lift you high?

Do I remind you of what troubles my heart?

Do I focus on your word or the things you have created?

How should this be done?

Should I sit on the floor?

Should I go outside?

Should I wait on you first before anything else?

How should this be done?

In a world of instant gratification waiting seems like a waste. But who am I to tell God what to do? Why should he even want to speak to me? I am grateful I get to be part of his day, as I was reminded in my study a few weeks ago. I am thankful that I am awake to see the sun and my children rise in the morning. I am honored to have such a beautiful life. And yet I wait. I wait for God to come. I hold on to the hope that I don't wait in vain because he told me I would find him.

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I wake in the morning and start the day.

I come and sit in the floor.

I have my coffee and the laundry started.

We shall see how this shall be done.

I open my heart.
I look up to Him.
I try to control my thoughts.
We shall see how this shall be done.

PS.

2011-10-04T09:09:00.001-05:00

I'm over at Today's Housewife today as well. Just in case you wanted to see how my pillows turned out once I recovered them.

31 Days of Being Still:: The List

2011-10-04T08:05:00.004-05:00

As I began that first time of being still my mind raced through being in a position of vulnerability, and things I had done against God, but it surely didn't stop there. It was as if all the defenses were coming out and my brain or flesh was rebelling at the mere idea of waiting on God.

My brain was fighting to do something other than what I wanted it to do. I wanted to listen to God, but I started feeling there were more important things to do before I started the day. I began listing all the chores and errands and ideas I should do that day. I included worries and troubles that were laying around my life, in my life, and in the lives of those around me whom I loved.

The laundry needed to be started,
and if I could just get the dog bathed maybe I could trim his nails and cut his hair at the same time.
I have a quilt that needs binding,
and I need to put a little consideration into what I want to get them for Christmas.
How will Captain's day go at work?
The boys will be up soon,
and school will then start.
And this list is slightly different but completely the same as the list I came up with that morning.

How can that be? Simple, it was anything and everything that my day may or may not hold but my mind felt it was SO IMPORTANT to go over those possibilities to be prepared for what was coming.

Matthew 6:27

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

It seemed right or normal to go over those lists as my day began. I could pray about them. Consider them. Work out plans of action. But before the moment completely followed through I realized that I was trying to work out the plan for my day instead of sitting at the feet of the One who already planned the day.

Psalm 139:16b

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

Instead of being with God and listening to Him, my mind felt what it had to say was important and needed the attention. Did I even know what I was doing?

31 Days of Being Still:: Moving On From The Past

2011-10-03T08:22:00.000-05:00

As I sit and wait and listen my mind is crazy busy. It jumps from topic to topic and they all seem to want to slow me down, keep me busy, and (most of all) move me from being still.

It seems one thing I can be sure to run into every morning are my sins, both present and past. There is truth in the fact that these are my actions. There is truth in the fact that sin separates me from God. But there is no truth in the fact that I am so condemned I can't ever get close to God again. In fact, I am no longer condemned and that is the truth.

Romans 8:1-2

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus

because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life

has set you free from the law of sin and death.

My mind tries to tell me that because of all these things I have done wrong, against other people, against my God, that He wont come to me. He wont speak. But I push through the lies, deal with the truth, and wait. I am reminded this is a new day, with no mistakes yet made.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

31 Days of Being Still:: Vulnerable

2011-10-02T07:10:00.001-05:00

I have heard it said often by others, and I knew it to be true in my own life. I have taken time for Bible Reading, Prayer, and Journaling. But it was all one sided. I talked and listed and told. I read, and wrote my thoughts. I cried and got mad and was thankful. But I didn't listen. How is it that something which seems so easy to do, listen, is so completely hard?

Before I even got out of bed on day one of my "Being Still" I was trying to talk myself out of it. Why did I need to actually sit and be? Why couldn't I listen while doing other stuff? I was good at that. Why did it have to be in the morning? Why couldn't it be while I was brushing my teeth and washing my face?

There is a sense of vulnerability when you are sitting and waiting and listening. If I simply spent this time while I was in the shower then I wouldn't have "wasted" time if I don't hear anything. If I just listened while I laid in bed it wouldn't hurt so much when nothing was said. I was scared of putting myself out there, in such a teeny way, and not hearing back.

My mind rushes to Shadrach, Meeshack, and Abednego and how faithful and willing they were to walk through the fire even if God was silent. They knew God was still God regardless. I have often said that I wanted that type of faith, but here I am having trouble sitting on my living room floor for 10 minutes because I'm scared He wont show up.

I did finally sit down and I found a few other reasons this seems to be hard to do, even when those who are able to listen say it is worth it.

31 Days of Being Still:: The Psalm

2011-10-01T07:46:00.000-05:00

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam,

though the mountains tremble at it's swelling.

Selah.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy habitation of the Most High.

God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;

God will help her when morning dawns.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter,

he utters his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,

how he has brought desolations on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the chariots with fire.

"Be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!"

The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah.

I began this idea less than a week ago and I'm not sure it's the same now as it was then. I was going to take you along on a little experiment. Spend some time every morning being still. It's such a simple idea, and I am learning every day that it is more complex than I originally thought.

Through my study already I have come to realize that this Psalm, and the verse near the end, is not simply a call to stop. It is that, but more. It is also a call to release fear and pride, and I was quite amazed when I learned that. Fear and Pride. Oh, two things I struggle with and give in to on a regular basis. This Psalm is for me now more than I ever realized.

At first I thought my "experiment" was a failure before it ever began. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have any idea. But then I crossed paths with Spurgeon's Commentary on this Psalm, specifically verse 10, bolded above, and I thought maybe I should just go ahead and move forward and keep learning at the same time.

"Hold of your hands, ye enemies! Sit down and wait in patience, ye believers! Acknowledge that Jehovah is God, ye who feel the terrors of his wrath!... Since none can worthily proclaim his nature, let 'expressive silence muse his praise!'"

I invite you to come along and join me as I work to have "expressive silence" every day. I will share what I learn from this time period, from my study time, and any results from this "experiment." I'm excited to move forward!

If you are also doing a 31days theme I would love to know about it. If you haven't signed up at one of the eight original, head over to Chatting at the Sky and do so, but leave a link in my comments as well and I'll be sure to visit!