What blinds and distracts allows doubts in your heart.
Look! It's a blank page.
That's pretty much what my brain says every time I come to this spot. And all those flowing wonderfully wordy ideas escape quickly out the back before I can grab them up. Instead of being distracted by shiny, apparently I'm distracted by white.
It seemed like such a good idea to split the self-defense off of this site, and I'm not second guessing it, yet now I wonder what is it I want to do with this site? This site which I have had for over a decade, which has taken on different looks and purposes over the years. I wanted it to be my own little haven, a true reflection of my days. I think that's still what I want, but sometimes this is where the pressure kicks in. Oh, pressure from myself, I know, but there it is, none the less.
And so I find another online "class" or book which will help me kick things off, and I certainly did. It will begin soon and who knows if you will see any changes on either site as a result. But mostly what I feel is I have begun something, yet again, which may or may not make a difference and may or may not be finished.
I have many such things. Ideas and motives I have in abundance. Carry through not so much. There are notebooks all through my house with multiple purposes, half filled with thoughts or prayers, studies which got forgotten after day 2, and books purchased but not yet open. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that does this, or if I'm simply the worst. Best?
This weekend, with the extra 24 hours I always need, I am pulling all these things together in one spot. I am deciding what needs to be quitted and what needs to be continued. I'm finding places I can pick up where I left off. I'm considering what really worked for me and what was more pressure or simply another check mark on the to do list. I'm going to create a few projects for myself finding ways to make what I want to continue to be able to continue. I may budget my hours, or map my days.
You see, starting and not finishing is part of life. There are certainly things I have continued, so what is the difference and what can I learn to continue on the other items? The point I can't get to is where I question what the purpose of everything is. I'll stop it all then. I'll grow too tired within to continue anything without. No, the purpose is to continue on. The purpose is to not let the white be a distracter, but rather let it become a filter.
Tweet this: The purpose is to not let the white be a distracter, but rather let it become a filter. ~ Stacey's Daze
We may not always finish what we start, but that's part of life. Learning to let go, and learning when to press on. Dealing with the doubts, and working hard when surrounded by mystery. Everything doesn't have to be perfect for us to take the next step, so let's figure out a few steps we can take, and take one.