Trying to take myself out of the equation.
Truth be told, my praying has been like the tide over most of my lifetime. There were times when the tide was in and I was connected and prayer came easy, and there have been times when the tide was out and I was empty and everything was hard. Maybe it was seasons? Maybe I was rebellious and that kept me from connecting correctly. I'm not sure of the reasoning, I can just look back and see that's how it was.
Currently I feel I'm growing again back into a good prayer life. Doing the Examen in the evenings has helped, because I am more expectant for God to show up during the day. So, conversations flow, prayers continue, worries don't grab a hold but are released to Him. Not that every day is like this. Just the fact that I am WRITING this means I'll have a few days which aren't so good and I'll feel like a failure and I should give up. But I wont.
I always have reasons to pray. We all do. And so often when I have prayed it was in response to needs within myself or another. Maybe not within; in regards to. But currently I feel the need to pray more, but this time differently. I still mention those in my heart, and struggles I have, but I also feel as if I should be listening to hear what God wants me to pray about.
Would you like to know the biggest struggle with this type of praying? Sitting and listening, if I don't get an immediate response my mind starts to wander, my to do list comes to my brain, and I worry that I am wasting time sitting there doing nothing. What was I listening for anyway?
Oh yeah. God.
I sometimes have a hard time with that one. But it's something I'm working on as well. Something I'm striving to do better at.
The section of the Bible I am studying for my next belt test in taekwondo is Ephesians 6:10-17.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,
I like verse 18 with it as well, however... 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,
I need to dig into those verses, but can I say I haven't yet? It's as if I'm marinating right now, but I feel as if there is something there that I need to pull out, something which will make a difference for me in quite a big way.
It's scary and exciting. How will I be changed? Do I want to be changed?
See, just like with praying, sometimes we come to God's Word with our own thoughts already in place. We want to support our ideas rather than learn from Him.
My question? Can you be a Warrior and a Pray-er? Is it possible to fight for God literally and spiritually? I have my ideas, but I want an understanding from Him because after all, that's who I'm supposed to be working with, right?
How do you get rid of your pre-conceived thoughts when you go into prayer and Bible study?
How do you open yourself up to God to truly hear from him?