I've never been one who liked blame. The furtive glances and pointing fingers feel like a target painted on my back where every arrow of dislike, accusation, and hate falls soundly. I've fought blame actively and passively. When the blame truly wasn't my fault was when I really got rankled. I'll take credit where credit is due, but don't try to put something on my shoulders that doesn't belong there.
The truth is, I've got plenty of things in my life which I haven't done which sit like guilt on my shoulders, I don't need any extra, thank you very much.
I never wrote that book that I talked about a couple of times. Neither version.
I never wrote poetry daily for a year.
I quit using the hashtag #timeforlittlethings (shoot I can't even remember if that's right)
I stopped serving bread with every meal.
I didn't finish the "do not fear" study
I gave up on the shoulder wrap pattern.
I closed my crochet shop on Etsy before a full year was done.
The things I didn't do can bring me as much guilt and shame as the things I have done.
I take each day as it comes.
I work hard at doing the things that are set in front of me, and know how I can still grow.
I try to help others reach their potential.
I want to stand with you and watch you reach great heights.
I love in the best way I can.
The things I do can bring me as much peace and contentment as the things I have never done.
Those two categories ("Things I have done" "Things I have never done") are so vague. Their worth is defined by us, as is what falls into the categories. The truth is life is full of both. Every day we choose what we do and what we don't do. Sometimes regret falls in both categories, and sometimes peace is found in both. But this is what I know: it's the combination of it all which helps us move forward or can get us stuck.
So, how are you going to define the categories? How do you value what falls into each?
I try to find ways for my family to live healthily.
I work hard to become a better me.
I wont do everything everyone asks.
I will listen closely for God's guidance.
I will find my own path.
I wont walk behind you.
I will enjoy making art out of yarn.
I love making things for others.
I wont be making things just to sell.
I enjoy writing.
I want to write more and more.
I don't know if there will ever be a collection of words with my name on it outside of this blog.
I will help others reach their goals.
I wont work harder than they are willing to work.
The above list is full of things I have done, will do, have not done, wont do and they are all choices which will help me live out the life I want to live. So, wonder and questioning and what if's and regret and blame might try to peak their heads up in the future, but I know that if I choose wisely they wont be able to stick around for too long.