Chip came to us through one of my best friends who had a knack at collecting shitzus. Seriously, she would have strays show up on her doorstep, and she finally opened Tzu Zoo Rescue if you are interested in a sweet pup who needs a home.
But Chip was one of her neighbor's dog, and the neighbor chose wrong and had to find a new home for the pup. He was three at the time. It seems so long ago. I had decided to get a lap dog; we already had another larger dog who was as sweet as could be, but I wanted something smaller. It was a wild wish. One that she made come true.
Twelve years later Chip is our only dog, and he's fifteen. I've never had a puppy so maybe the training stage is similar to this end stage, but I truly feel as if I have become my dog's caretaker. Not that I'm comparing myself to true caretakers, but it has had a toll on my days, I see how life is different, and the only light to the end of this tunnel takes my Chip away from me.
Yesterday something stressful happened to my youngest. He's safe and fine, but emotionally it threw us all for a loop. Or me. You see, Chip has not slept through the night in over three weeks, which means I have not slept through the night in the same amount of time. This has made me tired, edgy, and exhausted. Those are not the best circumstances to make decisions or confront someone. So when the stressful event happened I lost it. I was angry, hurt, and I vented for quite a while. I was ready to hunt that person down and tell them just what I thought.
But those who have slept better than I have talked me through it. Yes, they talked me down. LOL I needed that help because I was going on pure emotion. Now I have agreed to not do anything unless God brings that person right in front of me. It still took me hours to fall asleep last night for all the imaginary conversations I was having, but at least I didn't go off and then regret it later.
Sometimes life isn't easy. Circumstances overlap one another, and we aren't always able to take a step away when we need to. But we must learn ourselves. I'm grateful for the help of youngest and Captain yesterday when my anger was getting the best of me. I'm okay getting angry, but I need to share it in the right way or my message is lost. Yesterday it wouldn't have been shared in the right way.
Whether it's a sweet old grumpy dog who is keeping you awake at night, a baby who isn't yet sleeping through the night, or a loved one who truly requires your time and energy I highly encourage you to know yourself. Know when you need help, rest, to take a step back, or to simply stay quiet until God deems you open your mouth. When we are pushed physically, emotionally, or spiritually it makes it harder to deal with day to day life. It's okay to take a breath when you need to. At least, that's what I'm telling myself right now.
I'm my dog's caretaker, and I am having to be careful about how I move through life right now because of that.