Shadows of the past, ghosts of the future

I've not written in a while here at the old blog. To be honest, I'm at a loss as what to share. What to write. I'm pressuring myself, I know that. Different things are keeping me quiet, but the words don't seem free right now.

I've been working on some crochet patterns. I came up with one REALLY cute hat, and another one which needs just a BIT of tweaking. I have a summer cowl in the works as well, and I think I found just the right one for the gorgeous yarn I'm using. Those will be shared when I write them up. But what's really aching is my heart.

My heart has been working through this Lenten season to redefine myself. Release old things, deepen good things. It's not much fun sometimes though. I mean, that mirror that shows you who you are at times? Because, honestly none of us are that way all the time. But it affects us, doesn't it, those moments. Moments of jealousy, anger, hurt, frustration, insecurity .... yeah. I know I have chosen badly at times. Not out of not knowing better; simply what I chose. Not fun to face, but I'm learning to breathe better anyway. And maybe do better.

My son sent me a song last night. In the middle of the night, don't those kids sleep? But it was "You're gonna miss this." There's a lot I miss, and shadows sometimes seem to overwhelm me. But, like I told him, I think the goal of the song is to remember that EACH season in life has something we will miss, but that means each season in life is special in it's own way.

I guess as I'm readjusting and changing I don't know what words should be spoken, if any. And so for a little bit, until the words flow truer and clearer, I need to step away for a bit.

Thanks for your kindness.

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