I woke up this morning and my eyes were heavy. I should have been up an hour earlier. I missed a text from one son. I needed to get the sheets in the washer. I needed to have breakfast. I needed to drink some water and coffee. But I laid there; heavy eyes, heavy spirit.
Little things happened over the weekend. Have you ever noticed that little negative things can add up so quickly? Well, they piled upon my spirit and this morning I was simply heavy. The little positive things had apparently been swallowed up and I had lost them. Completely.
Have you ever had a day that wasn't bad, but it was hard. There wasn't a list of things I could look to for blame. There wasn't a huge problem which seemed unsolvable. There was no reason except the little things which had happened.
I decided to get up and start my day. I fought the desire to stay home and went to the gym. I sat and talked with a friend later in the day. I ran to the grocery store where I spent as little as I could, but still got a cherry pie, and a snickers, and a root beer. Because sometimes... food.
Yesterday I remembered a verse I read on Friday. Today I held onto it even tighter.
This comes at the end of Daniel's prayer after he has spoken about the transgressions the nation of Israel has done, and the consequences of those actions. He acknowledges that God is their only hope and nothing they do can make Him listen to their prayers, but they pray because they know of His great mercy.
I am grateful to be able to know that God sees me as righteous because of Jesus, but some days I don't feel that. Some days, like today, my heart hurts, my spirit is heavy, and my brain is reeling. And so on those days I'm grateful to know that God still hears me because of His great mercy.
And He hears your prayers for the same reason.