Standing in peace.

There have been several times in my life when decisions were made and I knew they were the right ones. I have talked before about how I can be wishy-washy, or change my mind a lot, and I can. I simply don't deny it. But at the same time there have been other times when I knew for certain I was doing the right thing, and I didn't waiver one iota.

When I got married to Captain, I wasn't nervous that day. I knew it was the right thing, and it became the next thing to do. When we decided to home-school, I knew it was the right thing again. It felt normal. There have also been harder "negative" decisions, but I knew they were the right ones as well. It's not that any of those decisions didn't also come with struggles or hard times, they did. But because I knew that was where we were supposed to be it was easier to fight through and work through whatever the hardships that came with the decision were. I didn't get wishy-washy or change my mind. I stood. I felt peace.

Looking back I am fully aware that I was NOT aware of the peace or normal feeling at the time. Or if I was I thought something might be wrong. I actually tried to make myself nervous the day of my wedding so that I would be "normal." I realize how sad that sounds, but I thought everyone was supposed to feel nervous about their wedding day. I didn't realize why I wasn't nervous.

Now that the boys are emptying the nest I am at a cross-roads. I'm excited for them, and myself as I work to figure out what the next step is. I may not have known about that sense of peace before, but it's what I am searching for this time. I know not everyone will agree with my decisions. Some may think I should do things differently. I get it. But I'm looking for the peace which passes all understanding, and I know once I have found that I will have found the right course for myself, and I will stand sure and not waiver.

stand

Part of me wonders if this is a privilege I can afford because I don't have to work. But here's my gut truth to that thought: NO. If you know what decision will help you gain peace in your life then I suggest you take the steps necessary to make it. Dreams take many different steps to reach so nothing happens over night, but we all have access to do what we need to do in order to get where we want to go. We just need to know where we want to go. And the cool thing is we decide that!


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