August 7, 2014

I did another star jump while the world was at war and friends were grieving

Last week a friend's husband died. The next morning I found myself at the gym, doing star jumps, with the realization of how odd that seemed to be. How was it possible that my life was just as ordinary as it always is, when someone else's world was crashing in and they were going to have to get used to a new normal? A new ordinary? How is that right?

I paused between star jumps, that might possibly have not been totally blamed on my mental state but also my physical one, and thought about how surreal life can be at times. I looked at those in the circle with me, all at their various stages of physical tiredness, and I had to decide what to do in that moment.

Wars.
Rumor of wars.
Strife.
Children killed.
Families torn.
Daddies dead.
Husbands gone.

What do I do with all of this?

It has to be said that what I wanted to do was find a corner, roll into a fetal position, and cry for all the pain in the world which breaks the hearts of so many I know and don't know.

But thankful to those around me at the moment, I pushed on and did another star jump, being sure to breathe deeply and surely. And I pushed on with the rest of the workout knowing that sometimes this is life.

hope

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6 comments:

  1. Yes!! God is still God and He is faithful and worthy of our trust even if we can't see the next step or understand all that is going on. We know that He does and we can rest in that and have peace even through trials when things are hard. Thanks for this beautiful way of reminding us of this! <3

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    1. Thanks Gayl. I think I'm reminding myself, still, as well.

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  2. I've been on both sides of this equation and well, if we're honest-- we all are at all times. The point is to be available and present to each moment as they come versus indifferent... and to honor life by living well and eventually dying well. Being aware changes us, doesn't it?

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    1. It does. It creates a weird balance but I don't necessarily want to let go of either side.

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  3. I love this perspective - it keeps me moving when my world is falling apart and thoughtful of others when their world crashes. So sorry for the loss of your friend. So thankful that you shared your thoughts and words about that loss.

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