I am Jonah.

{#hellomornings study is on Jonah, and I am working through it with them this time}

I understand good and bad things happen at the same time in this world. I understand they happen to good and bad people. I understand we have to trust God regardless of the outcome. I understand sometimes things happen so God's glory can be shown to others. I understand.

But know -- I am still Jonah. I don't want to walk down the hard path even if I deserve it. I want God's favor, mercy, and grace. I want that for those I love as well. I do. I admit it.

I am Jonah, running the other way. There's no way this is the message I am supposed to give. It is much too hard and too big for me to do.

And God asks, "What do you have to be angry about?"

Nothing. Not. a. thing.

But my heart breaks, and I know Jonah, and I understand him, and the whale might have been a bit of a reprieve. A rest.

I know Jonah, for I am him. I would have run. I would have wanted to have been mistaken in what I heard. I would have looked for the fastest ship out of there to the farthest land I could get to. I would have ended up in the whale.

I am Jonah. And my heart breaks because fear gripping my heart feels stronger than the faith that resides within it. But what I know is He who is in me is greater than He who is in this world. And I know God is sheer grace and mercy and will never leave us nor forsake us. And if I have to remind the fear of what my faith knows every five minutes then I will.



Because I am Jonah, but I don't want to run from God.
Maybe I can learn to be more like those from Nineveh.


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Comments

  1. There are some days where I KNOW it is just me, my fear, and my Savior. He gets me through the days and the darkest nights despite my fear and my desire to run away from the tasks at hand.
    I am so thankful for Jonah and his testimony because even though he ran away, he also came back...and God used that :).
    Great post today!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Donna. I'm so glad He CAN use us whenever we come back!

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