The little girl was quiet yet loud, fierce yet timid, obedient yet testing. She wanted to protect the entire world, and didn't understand she couldn't. She didn't understand everyone didn't want to do the same.
As she grew into a woman she learned a lot of hard lessons. She learned some people aim to hurt and cause pain. She learned some people see others as objects for their entertainment. She learned some people turn their backs and pretend not to see. She fought between falling into these ways herself and being who she was meant to be; and the struggle was fierce. She learned love can look a lot like control if she wasn't careful. She lost her voice at times. She lost her heart at times. And sometimes she disappeared altogether. But the little girl with the big dreams and the big love always lived deep within her heart.
The woman realized she couldn't save the world, so she decided to save herself. She built walls around the little girl and told her to stay quiet. She put thorn bushes around the walls and told the girl to stay put. She surrounded the bushes with clouds of cotton and told her to hush. She knew the little girl didn't understand. The little girl would get hurt. The little girl could never survive in the world as it was. She had to protect the little girl.
She made the little girl disappear as best she could and began to live her life in ways she would later regret. Not fully, and not always, and her extremes may have been other's testing the waters, but He created her with choice and she chose.
The woman thought she had control. She thought she was grown up. She believed protecting really didn't matter anymore. But it did, and the little girl knew. So she would push up against the walls, yell through the cloud, and stomp her little feet when she could do nothing else.
The little girl helped the woman, even in this condition. The little girl reminded her of the kind person she really wanted to be. The little girl reminded her how to love her husband fully. The little girl reminded her how to care for the little boys in her charge. The little girl reminded her of who she was. The little girl helped her to grow to be the woman she was meant to be, even if only in their own little world.
The woman walked away from disastrous choices, because the little girl wouldn't let her do otherwise. The woman learned to love deeply, because the little girl refused to let the hate stay. The woman learned to forgive, and the little girl danced. The woman learned to be content, and the little girl had joy and peace. And each time the woman got through another situation she realized she wasn't saving the little girl, but the little girl was in fact saving her. She realized the only way she could get through this world intact was with the help of the little girl.
The little girl is still deep inside the woman, but the walls have been torn down, the thorn bushes have big roses, and the cotton is now her bed. The little girl helped the woman to become who she is, and together they will become who He designed her to be.
He created her to be a beautiful creation in the middle of His masterpiece. He created her with a soul set on protecting others, and then set her free in the world to choose.
This post is part of The Girls We Once Were linkup from Story Sessions.
It marks International Women’s Day.