hurt, pain and anger will happen
While we need to recognize that we are partly to blame for the fall out of relationships and the walls built because of it, something else we need to recognize is that we are all human.
I am not God and I can barely control myself much less try to control you. If I use any sort of manipulation, twisting, guilt or condemnation to get a desired behavior I am sinning. And they are not God, so they will not behave perfectly in every situation all the time. We are human and in that life gets messy, we do things badly, and we fall down a lot. We need to realize the truth here.
As Dr. Townsend says, “God made us all dependent on each other.” We are made for community and to be there for each other. Later we will talk about who we should be closely connected to and who we should have distance from, but that does not change the fact that God said we are better together than alone. But when we expect perfection, or people to do things like we think they should be done, or never being hurt in a relationship we will be disappointed.
We need to expect that there will be miscommunication at times. We need to know that people will inadvertently hurt us sometimes. We need to understand that relationships are not perfect and we can’t expect them to be. Everyone will let us down. But when that happens what matters afterwards is how we respond to it. Do we show grace and mercy and talk about what happened? Do we assume they did it on purpose and put up a wall? Do we open our hearts to more possible hurt in trying to heal what has happened?
That’s up to us. But the knowledge that we will get hurt in relationships, but we will survive, will help bring walls down.
The list of all the posts for this series can be found in the Table of Contents.