The truth about who should own the blame.

When there is one sexual assault on an American (12 years and older regardless of gender) every 107 seconds, what truly are the odds that one of us wont be in a scary situation and not be able to get away?

The very best defense we have from finding ourselves in a situation is to be aware. The more we are paying attention, looking around, noticing things the better because people who perpetrate such crimes are looking not to be noticed. But sometimes we still find ourselves in a scary situation, even when we work to pay attention. 

When that happens, it's not your fault. Nothing you did or didn't do gave the perpetrator permission to do what they did. They are the only ones to blame when these scary situations occur.

Sometimes shame and guilt come along with these moments, and I want you to know that those are not yours to carry. You may have tried to fight off the attacker. You may have not been able to do a thing. You may have been distracted and not paying attention. It doesn't matter. There is always going to be someone bigger, smarter, and faster than us, and we are not responsible for their actions. Ever.

No matter what leads up to a moment, there is a chance we may find ourselves in such a scary situation. My heart breaks for all who find the odds against them. I want us to learn more so that we all find ourselves there less. I truly believe we can change the "one in 107 sec" statistic the more we learn.

But even when we become the one please never forget that you are amazing and the incident does not define you nor was it your fault. The problem and blame lies with the perpetrator not you.


  1. Oh gee, Stacie. I do both. Maybe I should read this book? I'll definitely follow this post at least! Thank you for sharing TRUTH and your heart!

    1. Betty, it was good. I liked "Who's Pushing Your Buttons?" the best, and "The Wall Around Your Heart" was healing. All three helped me learn so much and write this series. Now it's the hard part of practicing!


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