And the month's focus changes to the other side.
My goal this month was to write the first half of the month on tearing walls down, and the second half on putting them in place. Not that 15 days is long enough to clear the rubble if you did bring a wall down, nor is it time to pull all your walls down. So, as I progress know that we really have to do both at the same time. As we take down walls which are built for the wrong reason we can put walls up which are protective but open.
This is where I am fully honest with you: I am struggling.
I am questioning my writing, this topic, self-defense, my abilities, my crochet, my decisions, and me. These doubts and insecurities are the cause of many a wall in my life, and so I feel as if I am sitting behind not just brick but stone and cement and iron. I feel a little fake when I tell you to tear your walls down when I still have so many to tackle.
But I know that we aren’t all quick to change. I know that it takes time to undo what has been done. I know that for some days I move forward, I have half a day of slipping back, but we are moving in the right direction.
What I share for the rest of the month are helps in dealing with people, where to set boundaries to keep us safe, how love doesn’t always look like rainbows and sunshine, and how some days are hard but that’s why we need community: to help one another.
In another attempt to be fully honest with you: my community is very small.
I don’t have a thousand people close to me, nor a dozen who I can trust fully, but I have a few people I can fully depend on. There is no magic number you should strive for, nor should the relationships work in designated ways. But that’s what this is all about, right? Learning to open up our hearts, allow people in our lives, and do it all in a safe, respectful, honest way.
As you continue reading please please remember: I’m learning along this journey myself. You may have something which I need to hear, you may know more than I do, and you may have experience which contradicts what I am learning: Please share.
And now, how to build relationships with boundaries for our safety.
The list of all the posts for this series can be found in the Table of Contents.