"I might need it someday."

{Chapter 7 began the venture into sorting our stories rather than our stuff. The authors said the stuff would naturally get taken care of as we decided whether our stories needed to be put into one of four categories: retain, release, repurpose, and reserve. Chapters 13-16 deal with dealing with the clutter, but chapters 8-12 deal with excuses that hold us back when dealing with our stuff. I decided to share a story that falls under each chapter's excuse as I work through my stuff deciding what needs to go.}

my table Under and next to my table art bookshelf and corner under the printer

I don't even know when I began collecting art supplies. I have yarn, scrapbooking paper, books, paints, material, batting, beads, and glues. I have more than that, but I'm not sure of all I have. I love trying new things and thinking of myself as a "creative."

I know the bulk of what is in storage in this area came to be when I took an online class and went through a crafty period. I loved the class and it was really helpful, but I wanted to continue on with what I had learned and done. I also wanted to give things to other people, whether it was birthday gifts or just because gifts, so I saved whatever I used, if there was anything left over, because I might just need to use it again. But now, a couple of years out of taking the class, and over a few months of giving items away, I have to admit I get overwhelmed when I think of what is or isn't in this area.

I feel as if I have let myself, my husband, my family, friends and strangers down. Really, we can cross off strangers because they don't matter, and my loved ones (I KNOW) will support me and want the best for me. But when I don't follow through, or when I fail or don't complete a goal, I feel as if I have failed THEM and their ideas for me. I have also failed myself, because all of the learning I did and then came to a stand still just "knowing" it wouldn't work anyway. But I didn't want to give anything up, because I might change my mind. I might need it. I didn't want to give it all up and admit the failure I felt to be.

The clutter in here keeps me from having to really focus on any one goal, or any project. If I have a bazillion things going on, or the possibility of it going on, then everyone understands when nothing gets completed. But I'm tired of not completing, and not doing things. I'm tired of ignoring the mess, and the possibilities. If I'm going to give up on a goal, then I want to fully give it up. But if I'm going to work at it, then it's time to try.

I already narrowed my goals down for myself, even the creative part of myself. Now I need to make choices which help me along with those goals. We had grand ideas for this room, and I had grand plans for myself as well. But now the lovely space has turned into a storage area, and my plans seem to have disappeared. Something must be done about the clutter in this area because it's time to move forward again.

Comments

  1. I have piles and boxes of copious craft supplies too! I love all kinds of creativity, but I jump from one thing to the next, and just have bits and pieces of everything. Good luck on your sorting!

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    1. Yes, I think that describes some of those boxes. LOL Thanks!!

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