flying unfinished?

I received a daily truth email from Brave Girl's Club a few weeks ago. Truth be told it sat there for two days going unread. Would it have struck me the same had I read it the day it came in? No one will ever know I guess. But it did strike me in the heart as I opened it up and read the words Melody and Kathy had placed inside.

Brave Girls Club


I am not the first to encourage you to do what is in front of you. What I mean by that is not to worry about the end result, not to stress over what will happen in the long run, but just do the here and now. You were made for good works and good works were made for you to do, so simply do them and leave the rest up to God. I want everyone to know that, to believe it, and to live it.

There are days I hit the mark.
There are days I don't.

When I wrote the posts for the self-defense topic in April, I hit the mark.
When I talked to my Taekwondo instructor about future self-defense courses, I hit the mark.
When I am able to do for my loved ones and friends, I hit the mark.
When I put up healthy boundaries, I hit the mark.
When I learn something that takes me a step further, I hit the mark.
But I knew, there was something I wasn't hitting the mark on. Maybe more than one something.

Recently I have felt as if everything I wanted to do was falling aside. The things I desired to do weren't happening. I felt as if I was becoming stagnate and had no direction. Not only were some things I started finishing, but nothing seemed to be starting. You see, I started looking at the end result. I didn't want to start anything unless I knew where it was headed. I didn't want to write anything unless I knew how it ended. I was sinking in the pool of the unknown rather than floating right where I was.

Truth be told, I'm just realizing (right now as I write this) that I am in this predicament. This morning as I sit here listening to the music playing, the keyboard tapping, and my mind racing I still wonder if I even have the ability to do what I feel I would like to do. I'm waiting for someone to come tell me not even to try because it wont make a difference in the end. Actually, I'm pretty good at telling myself that. I don't need anyone else to confirm.

But that's not flying unfinished, is it? I'm referring to an old subtopic of this blog. Trying even when I'm not "there." Going towards what my heart is calling me to. Hearing God's whisper and trusting His word rather than my knowledge or ability. I'm not doing that in the waiting for clear direction, sure movement, or defined endings.

So, maybe it's time to sit down and work out what it is I am hearing. To figure out how it should start, and not worry so much about the ending. To trust my God, and know that taking this step is huge for me. To do what is before me. And then I will be flying even when I'm still unfinished.

Comments

  1. Oh I love this Stacey, I really love your tagline, flying unfinished, You do make a difference, somedays you write the words I need to hear, at that very moment, and I am thankful that you write and follow God's leading. Yes we can fly unfinished because we know who is finishing us. Love you

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  2. You're very sweet and have such an open heart. I'm sure you'll with Gods help find the direction you seek :)

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    1. Aw, thank you Jen. I'm surely counting on his direction!

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  3. I absolutely believe you have the strength and the ability to do what's in your heart... But you're right... I guess that before we ever take the final step, we have to take a first step... even if we don't know what the final step is or looks like or anything. :)

    You know I'll be right here with you wherever that goes. :)

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  4. I, too, would love to be able to see the outcome of my endeavors. Sometimes I wonder if my efforts are for nothing. But, my passion is to write, and I just keep going. Maybe it's just for my own personal growth, maybe God has a bigger plan (I hope so), but it's God's privilege to keep secrets. :-) Knowing we are loved, no matter what, has to to be enough.
    from The Dugout

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    1. I've given up on bigger plans. It helps me be content where I am and to stop striving. Just going through each day writing because that's what I do. :) It has to be enough, yes.

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