You are giving power to the one you allow to define you.

I read a meme the other day that spoke about how a woman doesn't know she is beautiful until a man tells her she is. It broke my heart a little bit.

 photo what others think of us.jpg

I thought about the words and the idea behind the words for a long time. I wasn't able to let them go, or maybe they had a hold of me. 

The thing is, I got it. I understood. I have been there and occasionally find myself there still now. We wrap our identities in what others say, because if someone else says it then it's true. We question our own standards and ideas, and it sounds "pompous" to say we think we are beautiful anyway, right? And strong. And smart. And brilliant. And able. And.... 
We simply need to hear it from another.
Then we can rest in it.

But what this comes down to is, plain and simple, insecurity.
We are insecure in who we are. Therefore we look to someone else to define us.

And then the epiphany hit me.

It's all about power.
And, oh my word, it really is.

I give someone else the power to define me when I am insecure.
"Tell me what you see, so I know who I am."
But that's really not a power I want to give to another.

And when we get down to it, and we talk about it like this, it's not the power any of us want to give to another.

And yet.

Like my dress.
Help me feel pretty.
Compliment my hair.
Tell me you want me.
Let me know you can see a difference, and that it's positive.
Tell me I've done a good job.
Show me how I make a difference.
Remind me that I am important.

Because I forget, and so I have handed the power over to you to remind me.

This isn't a post that says we don't care what others think. We do. We'll probably never fully get away from it, and as a friend of mine wrote, maybe we shouldn't.

 photo power in the definition.jpg

But, let's also be smart in who we give the power to.
Let's also remember there are some areas we don't want to hand over power.
Let's never forget that no matter how another person defines us, all that really matters is how God defines us.

And God has said
He sees us
we matter
we are loved
He dances over us
we are grace-filled
we are beautiful
He never leaves us
we are lovely
we are worth it

Can we believe that?

Because then, no matter what another person says 
no matter how seen or unseen we feel
no matter if we are dressed to the nines 
or just finished a workout
no matter if we've fallen on our faces
we will know the truth.

But by all means, keep those who agree with God near to your heart and let the others fall away.


  1. It's a sad day, watching the carnage again, knowing we can never truly be completely safe. I pray people turn to God and realize HE is our only true security. God bless the injured families.

    1. He is our eternal security and the reason we don't fear for our life. I just pray more of us will work to take care of this life we have been given. Yes, I am praying for all there.

  2. My cousins Terry and Kate just finished running and were a block away when the bombs went off. So sorry for all those who were killed and injured!

  3. This is something that has fascinated me for a while. If someone is saying yes, but shaking there head "no" - no is what they really mean or is the truth. That is a really good list you have.

    1. Yes! There was a television show on a while back that we watched that really covered this idea. Loved it, and then it changed times. LOL


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