D: Desperation

One thing I have become so very aware of is sometimes we allow ourselves to be in dangerous situations because we become desperate. We are desperate for someone to approve of us, love us, or need us, and so we go to help, give, and love even in situations where we shouldn’t.

When my non-incident occurred I learned that there are times I cannot help people because it will jeopardize my safety. Each and every situation needs to be handled on its own merits and circumstances. Knowing how to read people, watching for things which are unusual, and keeping our eyes open all help us to be careful. Bad people will prey on those who want to help. Bad people will use our politeness against us. Bad people have no problem not being honest, so you must be wary. Being desperate to please keeps us from being aware. We also close our eyes when we are desperate for love or attention. When the teen girl gets attention from the older man, too often they see it as their way of feeling attractive, not that they are in a dangerous place with a dangerous person.

The problem is we often don’t know we are desperate for love and attention. We need to watch our own behavior as closely as we do others. Are we keeping secrets from others around us about someone? Are we sneaking around, and getting friends to help us? Are we willing to do anything, even when the other person asks the impossible from us? Then we are probably behaving in a desperate manner not keeping our mind, heart, or eyes open to what the truth is.

When you find yourself behaving in such a way you need to remember the truth about who you are, and who really loves you. You need to remember the truth about what love, acceptance, and attention really should be about.

If you have someone in your life who you think is in danger of falling into a desperate way of thinking then I want to encourage you to pour into that person’s life. Show them the love of God in such a way there is no denying His power. Teach them that real love does not put expectations on you, nor does it ask you to keep it a secret.

Comments

  1. Good advice. I think another side of desperation is to always want to make others comfortable with a smile, which leads to direct eye contact. If I'm trying to cross a busy crosswalk, I avoid that. You will run into whatever you look at. I scan and am aware, but keep my eyes on the goal. However, if someone is far off, but seems to be paying too much attention, I look them straight in the eyes then up and down. They know that I have just made notice of their description for future reference.
    These are all such good points!

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    1. Oh yes! Eye contact is huge in showing confidence. Did I ever tell you I walked the halls of my high school looking at the ground? Yep.

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  2. This reminds me that the best practice for choosing a mate is NOT during moments of desperation. :)

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  3. What great advice, Stacey!!! Especially as I think about how to help my daughter navigate the tween, teen, and young adult years.

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    1. Yes!! Please please teach your kids this information. The sooner they learn it, the more natural it will be for them.

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  4. I found this to be such positive and inspiring advice. We all need someone to be there for us during tough moments, and are always needed by someone in return. And of course, need to watch our behavior -- very important.
    Silvia @ Silvia Writes

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    1. We do! It takes work sometimes, but we need to give each other a hand. It's so important.

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  5. popping in from the A-Z. So nice to find other believers in the blogsphere! I'm following every believer I find. Can't have too many God seekers in your life. Visit me, if you'd like:
    from The Dugout

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  6. Oh this is a very good post... and doesn't just apply to ways we put ourselves into physical danger, but emotional, mental, and spiritual danger, I'd think, too.

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    1. YES YES!! And I think when we are in danger in those ways, it puts us in physical danger as well. It's all connected and so important.

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