I have been the girl...

I have been the girl who accepted whatever was told blindly because of the faith of others.
I have been the girl who questioned everything because of the actions of others.
I have been the girl who turned her hurt into anger and isolation.
I have been the girl who learned lessons the hard way.
I have been the girl who hurt others.
I have been the girl who made excuses.
I have been the girl who fell in the mud.
I have been the girl who drug others with her.
I have been the girl who denied denied denied.
I have been the girl who refused to be humbled.
I have been the girl who hated.
I have been the girl who quit.
I have been the girl who begged.
I have been the girl who lost her way.
I have been the girl who started searching for answers.
I have been the girl who took a hand up.
I have been the girl who turned her back.
I have been the girl who screwed up royally.
I have been the girl who held on to God when that was all she had.
I have been the girl who disappointed others.
I have been the girl who was oblivious.
I have been the girl who loved big.
I have been the girl who hurt.
I have been the girl who reached out.
I have been the girl who said enough is enough.
I have been the girl who blindsided those she loved.
I have been the girl who was full of pride.
I have been the girl who didn't understand.
I have been the girl who made it happen.
I have been the girl who ...................................

Fill in the blank.

Last month I talked about how I have begun to love learning and changing. I talked about how I have started learning how to accept who I was before I changed. I mentioned that I'm learning to respect who I was before. The before me. I don't know if respect is the right word. I think maybe I should have said love.

loveyourself

Does this sound weird? How can I love someone who has done the things I have done? How can you love someone like who you were? This is how. God loves us. And His love allows us to see us as we really were. I could come up with a thousand excuses for what I have done in the past, and they could possibly be legitimate. But it doesn't matter. The fact is the actions were taken, the deeds were done, the heart was hardened, the words were said and there is no going back to change it. But I can look back at the girl who did and know that she was trying her best, with what she had at her disposal, to be the best she could be.

Would I do things differently now? Isn't that the point of learning? Changing? But can we not be more merciful to who we were, because... honestly, we are still those girls from time to time now. We are still those people who hurt, cry, get mad, cheat, lie, steal... We are. Even though our actions have changed, that girl is still a part of who we are right now.

So, the answer isn't to simply give up and not care. The answer is to care more. To love more. The answer is to reach out more. To understand more. To be there. The answer... you have an answer, and I'm pretty sure if you looked into your heart, listened to the Holy Spirit, and let His love flow over you, you would know what your answer right now is. And I can about guarentee you it has nothing to do with blame, shame, excuses, or anger.

So, during this month of love which people are looking for cupid, do me a favor. Stop for a minute and change the way you see yourself. Look for you through the eyes of love. It's not blind, simply understanding.

I have been the girl that did all those things.
I was the girl that did all those things.
I am the girl that did all those things...
and I'm moving forward anyway.

Will you move forward with me? Then embrace love, kindness, gentleness, goodness, generosity, and all those traits you pour on others, and pour them on yourself. You will be amazed at the difference it creates within you, AND those around you.

Comments

  1. I have been the girl that did all those things.
    I was the girl that did all those things.
    I am the girl that did all those things...
    and I'm moving forward anyway.

    LOVE this! Excellent post, Stacy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awww love this and yes I have been that girl too!! I will move forward with you together we can help each other.

    ReplyDelete

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