What brings you confidence?

I remember the first time it happened. We were in the sixth and third grades, respectively. I had issues with his sisters, so it made sense my brother had issues with him. I don't know how it started or who was to "blame" but my brother ran behind me away from him. I stood there thinking, "There is no way this kid is going to get past me." The next thing I knew my friends were picking me up from the ground and my brother was on the boy's back.

I wanted to defend my brother, but instead I got hit with a right hook.

I have always wanted to defend those I loved. This protection impulse is strong through-out my family. We all want to protect one another, and I am grateful we feel this way. However, while my intentions were grand I couldn't follow through. I simply didn't have the knowledge or the means.

In November 2011 I began taking taekwondo lessons at my church. Youngest had been there for a few months prior, almost six, and I decided this was something I would regret not doing if I let the opportunity slip past me. I had to at least try. I had no idea how this would stretch and grow me.

My second class I ended up in tears walking the track above the class. My second sparring session I turned my back to my partner and stated I simply couldn't do it. My first tournament I took home a 2nd placed trophy and two 1st place trophies. I think it was a fluke, but it was also a crazy whirl wind of learning which I am still going through. Just a few months ago I stressed over falling forward, and learning new forms. Also, over this past Christmas break youngest told me if I could let go of worrying about hurting someone I would be able to do much better.

Ironic, no? I hoped this would help me learn to defend myself and those I loved, yet I am worried about hurting others. I'm learning that's part of who I am: I want to protect everyone. But I'm also learning to work around it all. There's a time and place for everything, right?

As I look back to who I was when I began class and compare her to who I am now, the greatest change has been within me. Taekwondo is helping me become the confident person I believed I could be. I love that I am more confident in being able to defend myself and my loved ones, but it has transferred over in so many ways to me simply being more confident. Not that I don't still have my moments, or shutter as they tell me the best way to break an arm in a specific position, but I'll always be me too. And I'm learning that blending is pretty cool. You know the insurance commercial of the happy witch in the broom factory? My classmates tell me that's me in taekwondo laughing all the way down to the mat.

I know everyone has to find their thing, I just never imagined mine would be this. I'm thrilled it is though. I'm looking forward to learning even more in class as we start this new year knowing it will also affect new opportunities, dreams and goals.

What is it in your life which has challenged you to grow and become more you? Is there something you always wished you could try, but haven't done so yet? I challenge you to take the steps you need to in order to do that. It's a new year! It's a new chance! You never know how it will affect your life.

Comments

  1. So...I want to walk with you in this life because you can take whatever comes our way with a good swift kick! Great post!

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  2. So excited for you and I love reading the passion in this post.

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