Stop, in the name of love

Too often I gloss. I gloss over ideas, words, stories, thoughts, and concepts. I barely skim the surface thinking I have it down and understand the core of what is being said. Similar to “Jesus Loves Me” or the story of Zaccheus, I have heard it repeated so many times I think I get it. Do you do that? Because invariably it seems what happens to me is when I stop to really focus on what is being said or sung my heart realizes a new depth I never ever knew.

Jesus loves us this we know for the Bible tells us so.

Even those not raised in the church may be familiar with this child’s song, but there needs to come a time when it’s not simple vain repetition but rather true understanding.

1 john 3 1

I don’t know what I thought when I was taught to sing this song as a young child. Was it simply a fact I repeated, like 2+3=4, or did I understand it the best my little heart could? Maybe it was understood with a pure innocence of acceptance and understanding which I have a hard time going back to because of life’s hurts and pains? I can’t say where I started out, but I know where I fell along the way.

Do you see the ditch there along the side of the road? It’s where I fell. I had been walking along minding my own business when suddenly my rear was in the mud, and I was covered in the muck and mire of everyday life. When I got up and started walking again I thought I was going the right way, but the hurts and pains of life began to color the way I saw God’s love. I took another step, hardened my heart to all, and repeated words which I no longer understood or meant. I kept up the fa├žade, thinking I was doing the right thing. I went alongside the road walking in the ditch for quite a while, never even realizing I had fallen off course. How? You may ask. Simple, I never stopped to pay attention.

I have told friends often that reassessment is good. Not necessarily because you are questioning where you are or where you are going, but because you simply want to make sure you are on the track you think you are on. As far as I was concerned God’s love was something far away having little to do with my everyday life. It was about eternity and the cross and resurrection of Christ. I had simply come to a point where it had little to do with what I felt on a daily basis.

My daily basis got stuck in the circumstances and opinions of others. My daily basis was just trying to get through the next day. Not because anything horrible had happened, but because I simply couldn’t see any wonderful. When people walk away, say words they can’t take back, and circumstances change so you feel alone… you feel alone.

I had to stop. I had to really look at the stories and songs. I had to really assess and reassess where I was and where I was going. I had to look back at what I once thought, and what I was thinking. I had to find truth. In the process I learned that God’s love is not some pie in the sky good thinking theology having nothing to do with my day. It is truth, and awesome, and amazing, and great.

Some days I still get stuck in the mud and mire, but I’m a little quicker to find myself there now. And when I do I am grateful that God’s love is free and great and bigger than my screw-ups and daily mess.

Comments

  1. You're getting a "hearty hallelujah" from my corner of the world. Stacey, in just the 3 months I've been following you, I can already see what God is doing and girl, you's beautiful! :)

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    1. Oh Loretta you are so very kind to me. Thank you.

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