It's so true, how easily the lies can whisper we aren't wanted. I think with the pace of this world, the crazy-busy spin we have to work so hard not to twist away with, it is almost a reflex to believe others don't care about us - as if we aren't good enough. Silence has a way of speaking this loudly when really it's just a lie. I'm glad you are "flying unfinished," that you're doing the hard work of choosing to fly. Thanks for being part of my community. : )
Isn't it funny how as a result of a negative reaction like those you bring up, we always turn toward ourselves as the culprit. We think, "I shouldn't have said that," or "what did I do wrong?" I'm not saying that we don't need to be cognizant of the fact that it may be us, but I think quite often there's a deeper issue going on with the other person.
So true. Another thought is that when we make these assumptions we inadvertently send the same messages to other people: they aren't worth hanging out with, lunching with etc. I'm glad you are stepping out!
This has been a lifelong struggle -- not believing when people want to hang out with me (what do they want from me?), thinking they must not really like me when they say they don't have time (I forget other people are also busy), etc. I've turned a corner in recent months. The Big Ugly Lie only rears its head every once in a while now, instead of all the time. :)
I am learning that, when people become unreasonably offended or act out, it often has little or nothing to do with me--and more to do with their own hurt and brokenness. It doesn't FEEL that way at the time, but eventually, that fact (and remembering Whose I am) helps me separate painful experiences from my sense of self-worth. Good stuff, Stacey! Thanks for sharing this.
It's hard when we've been smacked to step around the hurt that comes with it. But God has given you such a caring, understanding heart... it would be a shame to let fear stand in the way of you acting that heart out. So I'm glad you're learning to push past the fear... :) You have much to give.
They say that those who have the ability to care deeply can also be hurt just as deeply. When you truly, genuinely care about others (and this just seeps out of you, by the way!), it makes sense that you will also be hurt deeply when others are uncaring. It is so sweet to read through the comments and think about how God is surrounding you with women who do truly care about you! Because sometimes we need to be surrounded to help counter those lies. Great post- love your personal reflections- as always!
I totally relate to this. I know how it feels for me, and it's not good, when my speaking hurts rather than heals, or is taken in the wrong spirit. But the consequences of not speaking when the Holy Spirit leads are so much worse.
Whether you leave your thoughts here, facebook, twitter, or email me, I can not express how much I appreciate you sharing them with me. My miniature attempt: Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
It's so true, how easily the lies can whisper we aren't wanted. I think with the pace of this world, the crazy-busy spin we have to work so hard not to twist away with, it is almost a reflex to believe others don't care about us - as if we aren't good enough. Silence has a way of speaking this loudly when really it's just a lie. I'm glad you are "flying unfinished," that you're doing the hard work of choosing to fly. Thanks for being part of my community. : )
ReplyDeleteI'm trying. :) Thank you Tobi.
DeleteIsn't it funny how as a result of a negative reaction like those you bring up, we always turn toward ourselves as the culprit. We think, "I shouldn't have said that," or "what did I do wrong?" I'm not saying that we don't need to be cognizant of the fact that it may be us, but I think quite often there's a deeper issue going on with the other person.
ReplyDeletePossibly, yes. I also think some people don't want to have anyone understand, comfort them. We just can't allow that to stop us from trying.
DeleteSo true. Another thought is that when we make these assumptions we inadvertently send the same messages to other people: they aren't worth hanging out with, lunching with etc. I'm glad you are stepping out!
ReplyDeleteyes! I have been accused of being "snobby" while I was wrapped up in my insecurities.
DeleteThis has been a lifelong struggle -- not believing when people want to hang out with me (what do they want from me?), thinking they must not really like me when they say they don't have time (I forget other people are also busy), etc. I've turned a corner in recent months. The Big Ugly Lie only rears its head every once in a while now, instead of all the time. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad for you Angela!! I wish we all realized we don't have time to listen to those lies.
DeleteI am learning that, when people become unreasonably offended or act out, it often has little or nothing to do with me--and more to do with their own hurt and brokenness. It doesn't FEEL that way at the time, but eventually, that fact (and remembering Whose I am) helps me separate painful experiences from my sense of self-worth. Good stuff, Stacey! Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteThat is great Mandy!! Such truth.
DeleteIt's hard when we've been smacked to step around the hurt that comes with it. But God has given you such a caring, understanding heart... it would be a shame to let fear stand in the way of you acting that heart out. So I'm glad you're learning to push past the fear... :) You have much to give.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jo. I honestly am at a loss of words. Sometimes I feel I have nothing left to give, but I am working on it. Thank you.
DeleteThey say that those who have the ability to care deeply can also be hurt just as deeply. When you truly, genuinely care about others (and this just seeps out of you, by the way!), it makes sense that you will also be hurt deeply when others are uncaring.
ReplyDeleteIt is so sweet to read through the comments and think about how God is surrounding you with women who do truly care about you! Because sometimes we need to be surrounded to help counter those lies.
Great post- love your personal reflections- as always!
I have been very blessed. :)
DeleteI totally relate to this. I know how it feels for me, and it's not good, when my speaking hurts rather than heals, or is taken in the wrong spirit. But the consequences of not speaking when the Holy Spirit leads are so much worse.
ReplyDeleteThis I am learning to be true!
Delete