Could you please share with us what you would do to help those teenagers to make better choices. Because of the step-family issues our children are not getting the decipline they so desprately need. I would like to have some other "tools" to use, because time outs do not work for us, and spanking isn't an option because of the ex.
Victoria, I wish we could sit down over coffee, just one mom to another. Not knowing all the ins and outs let me simply offer up the main discipline they used at the youth home. It was a reward/consequence board with behavior being graded red, yello, green, and blue. They used push pins on a cork board, and they graded their behavior in all aspects. Morning chores, homework, getting along with other kids, getting along with staff, table behavior, ect. This was easy for me to put in place when my boys were younger, but I think it would be easy for the older teens as well. It was the one discipline in all the cabins regardless of age. They would average the pins for a daily color, and that would decide what type of rewards/consequences they would get for the next day. Rewards were television, gamestations, outside times, ect. Consequences would be having a day without those things. If you want to talk about it more feel free to contact me at staceydaze at gmail dot com. These can be difficult times, and I am not a expert by any means, but I am a momma with some experience, and sometimes we simply need another person to listen and understand. ((hugs)) One last thing, in case you never contact me :D, if it is at all possible the best solution would be for you and your husband to work with your ex in all matters for the better of the kids. I know it could be very hard, I'm just talking ideal here. <3
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ReplyDeleteOh yes!! I truly believe if he's not preparing us for something in our own lives, he is preparing usf or someone else.
DeleteCould you please share with us what you would do to help those teenagers to make better choices. Because of the step-family issues our children are not getting the decipline they so desprately need. I would like to have some other "tools" to use, because time outs do not work for us, and spanking isn't an option because of the ex.
ReplyDeleteVictoria, I wish we could sit down over coffee, just one mom to another. Not knowing all the ins and outs let me simply offer up the main discipline they used at the youth home. It was a reward/consequence board with behavior being graded red, yello, green, and blue. They used push pins on a cork board, and they graded their behavior in all aspects. Morning chores, homework, getting along with other kids, getting along with staff, table behavior, ect. This was easy for me to put in place when my boys were younger, but I think it would be easy for the older teens as well. It was the one discipline in all the cabins regardless of age. They would average the pins for a daily color, and that would decide what type of rewards/consequences they would get for the next day. Rewards were television, gamestations, outside times, ect. Consequences would be having a day without those things. If you want to talk about it more feel free to contact me at staceydaze at gmail dot com. These can be difficult times, and I am not a expert by any means, but I am a momma with some experience, and sometimes we simply need another person to listen and understand. ((hugs)) One last thing, in case you never contact me :D, if it is at all possible the best solution would be for you and your husband to work with your ex in all matters for the better of the kids. I know it could be very hard, I'm just talking ideal here. <3
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