Does God control it all?
Sometimes I forget how big God is. I want to put him in small boxes to make me feel comfortable and life easy, but it’s not always that way. I want him to fulfill my dreams and desires, but sometimes those go undone. I want him to always save the innocent and punish the guilty, but sometimes it’s the opposite.
Too often I get mixed up thinking the world should work as if God was controlling everything. “On earth as in heaven.” For a period of time I worked hard to accept life as if everything was designed by God. The good and the bad. The gain and the loss. “He gives and takes away.” Unfortunately, this did something to my brain. I felt as if I could not mourn, grieve, cry, or get upset. It didn’t stop me from doing those things at times, but when I did it simply added guilt to the list of “what I shouldn’t be doing.” How could I be upset about something if God controlled it, allowed it to happen, or made it happen? Shouldn’t I praise Him, and look for the lesson to learn?
Two things happened recently which made me look closer at this concept which I had swept to the back of my mind. (1) The shootings at Aurora. (2) George Zimmerman’s comment about his shooting being the will of God.
I understand wanting to blame God; to use Him as an excuse. It almost gives us a false sense of control. I have set responsibility squarely at God’s feet many times myself. But I’m starting to second guess this line of thinking now. You see, God gave us free will. From Eve on down to me, we get to choose whether we eat the apple. In Colorado and in Florida people made choices, and now others are living out the consequences of what they chose.
We are given choices all day long. Choices we make. Choices which will have consequences for ourselves and others. Let’s stop saying something is God’s will just because it happened. Sometimes this life on earth is hard, unfair, and makes us cry. God is not in control of everything, because He allows us to have free will.
I do not know why it seems He intervenes in some cases and not in others. I do not know why children have to die. I do not know why someone didn’t stop the shooter before he shot. I do not know why countries go without enough food and clean water. I don’t know why there are millions of people who are sex slaves. I don’t know why our loved ones have to fight disease and sometimes lose. This world is hard, and bad, and scary.
But God? God is good, and love, and peace. While God doesn’t control these situations, He is with us in the midst of them. I don’t know why things turn out the way they do, but I can trust God to go with us through the difficult times. “Nothing will separate us from His love.” "He will turn all things for good." Sometimes my heart breaks, I want to cry, and I don’t understand. That’s when God holds me, comforts me, and guides me.