I try to count.

I sit with my laptop. A cup of coffee is to my left. Sometimes it’s awkward reaching with that hand, but as this is my usual spot I have grown accustomed. {David Nevue plays on Pandora} keeping me company but letting my thoughts flow. I found him on {Ann Voskamp’s website}. Along with counting blessings, though that was vaguely familiar but by a different name. The house is silent other than the music and my fingers striking the keys which add up to the words you are reading now. I can think, I have grown, and I can breathe; so many things to be thankful for.

I bought {Anne’s book} for my mother for her birthday last year. I wanted to share with her what Anne shared with the rest of the world. My mother does not read blogs but I knew she would appreciate the book. She’s good at finding beauty, and creating it as well. How could she not appreciate keeping track of gratitude? She may have done it prior, but I’ve never asked her if she did it after.


I have started counting so many times. Some things I still remember as if I wrote them down yesterday. A breeze through the window. A butterfly floating by. Laughter from children. I never seem to be able to continue, and maybe this is simply a failure of mine.

It’s not that I am not thankful, no not that. And I don’t deny too vehemently. I have been accused of being thankful for things too small. I have been thankful for cover before the storm but felt guilty for those who were still in the rain. I have been thankful for the hard, even when it wasn’t easy and I didn’t live it well. Being thankful in the moment I can do, but carrying it with me through the day is where I fall short.

Will I remember tonight the silent home, and then the house filled with sound? Will I recall time to write and think, and time to laugh and carry on? Will I remember friends encouraging, and silence refreshing?


I know {one who is about to reach her 1000 mark}, and I am thrilled for her. What memories she has at her fingertips. What moments she can recall by reading! The list is to make us more grateful, and it’s such a good tool. Simply one I have never been able to fully use.

On the days where I see only those whose backs are turned, will I be grateful for them? When I know only of the burnt dinner and forgotten chores, will I know the joy? When I feel the pain, loneliness, and calling to come aside, will I go and remember even through this there should be gratitude? Do the lists make it easier to remember in times like these? My optimism leads me to an affirmative answer, though experience has taught me nothing.


The Mockingbirds at Lowes sounded like the most recent car alarm they had heard. Hubby has a new PR for his running. I was able to take part in class despite the toe injury. The colors in the blanket shout joy.

Keep lists. If you can do it in one place, continuously, forever more, I am so pleased for you. If not, write them where you can, and notice them where you may. In the shadow on the couch, or the light through the trees. In the hug of the child, or the prayers of the old. Be thankful for it all, and do what you can to remember.

Says the girl who struggles herself.

Comments

  1. Stacey this is a beautiful post, so encouraging. My half empty gifts of grace notebook identifies with your words...

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  2. I get it! I have a notebook somewhere too... :) But I realized the same thing as you- the point isn't to reach 1,000. The point is to be thankful and allow our Father to change our hearts. Clearly you are doing that! Love you lots!!!

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    1. Thanks sweetie. I'm working to be moldable! :D

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  3. Stacey, thank you for the link:):):) And, as Ann says, give yourself grace! God created you to worship, glorify, love, and thank Him in a way that only YOU can:) I tried Ann's Joy Dare for a few months, and I got so stressed and frustrated--kinda the opposite of the intended result. So, I stopped that and focused on my list. Part of my list was photos. It was so freeing and FUN to go searching for gratitude and joy like a treasure hunt that way. It's all about glorifying God, isn't it, however that looks for you? Thank for your support! XOXO.

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    1. I made her Joy Dare graphics my desktops background. It fits nicely, and it's fun for me, like the treasure hunt you spoke of. Isn't it great that so many things fit so many different people to do the same thing? Congrats again on the 1000!!!

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  4. You have a great gift with words. I really needed to read this...funny how that seems to be the way I start many blog responses! I need to get more creative, but it is true. Just this afternoon I was looking over Ann's book before I lend it out. There is much wisdom is what she says. My gratefulness does not runneth over and I too struggle with consistency in keeping my "list" up to date...actually I struggle with consistency in most areas :0). I think of the old hymn..."Grace, grace God's grace...grace that will pardon and cleanse within...Grace, grace, infinite grace...grace that is greater than all my sin!"

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  5. Ugh. I am so glad you wrote this. So, so glad. While I am good at noticing the gifts, I am terrible at writing them down. I know I'm getting the point by noticing, but I want the gifts written for the future.

    Love the new look, btw. (I usually read from email. Maybe this isn't new?)

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    1. Like remembrances. That's me too. I want it, but I have yet to do it.

      Thanks! It was new last night right before you commented. Today's post talks about the changes actually. LOL

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  6. We all have to start somewhere, yeah? **hugs** Keep counting... I think that, as you do it, you will be able to take it further and further into your day... Love you lots!

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