A win.

I stand with my hands by my side, my eyes glued to the referee standing in front of me. The tournament is drawing to a close, and this is my last match. With the continuous sparring there are normally three judges who decide the end of the match, but between going long and people needing to leave it is up to this one man to decide. I wait, holding my breath, for what his decision will be.
“The winner, this time. The winner, next time.”

We had a huge contingent at the tournament, all laughing and having fun. Our designated corner was overrun by spectators who fit in wherever they could. We commandeered a storage closet which seemed to fit us well. Everywhere I looked I saw people I knew. It was fun to cheer for my friends, laugh with them as we competed together, and watch my son.

As he did his form I recorded steady so other family members could watch later. I looked at him among the other contestants in his age bracket. I can tell you this mama’s heart fluttered. In wrestling they divide things up according to weight, why don’t they do that with all sports? But it was what it was, and he was determined and circled “intermediate” on his form card. My jaw dropped. He didn’t come home with any medals, but he came home holding his head high and limping a little. He poured his heart out and had nothing left at the end of his last sparring match. Out of 6 boys he came in 4th. My boy rocks.

Me? Well, I did better than I ever imagined. Two weeks ago I wrote about {my current struggle.} Let me tell you, baby steps do create magic. With the cheers of my friends and family pushing me on, and a little protective influence when my friend got a bloody nose in an earlier match, I was the one the referee determined to be the winner. I got first place in continuous sparring. I also got first place for point sparring. And with my forms I came in second.

I am more than aware that this sport is completely subjective by the referees, and the calls could have easily gone in the other direction. I am simply grateful that my goal of “not running screaming when the match begins” was fulfilled.

I raised my hands and head to the sky after I was called the winner, and then hugged my opponent. My win wasn’t so much against her as it was against my own fears. I may have to conquer them again, but this will be carried in my heart to make me stronger in the future.


  1. WooHoo!! How wonderful for you! So happy for your win against your opponent, but especially for the victory over the fear!

    1. Thanks sweetie!! I appreciate the cheers on this one. :D


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