Desires and Fears


Sometimes I wonder what I, an individual, could ever accomplish. Yes, yes, others accomplish much, and in all honestly I will be one of the first to encourage you to go out and do something even if you are on your own. Sometimes because you are on your own. If not you, then who? But me? For some reason I keep thinking that if I can't find a group of people who do something and join up with them, then I am simply wasting my time. And this stops me. A lot.

I have had this idea that I have been playing with for about half a year. It isn't the same as when it started, but it's not that much different either. It's simply evolving as I consider, think, dream, and plan. The thing is, I want it to move out of this planning stage desperately because I want to make a difference.

I want to reach out to people, love on them, help them love their life a little more, share joy and happies, and make a difference. I want people who are going through a hard time to know they are thought of, loved, and care for. I want people to know that prayers are said for them. I desperately want to reach out and share God's love with others because I simply can't keep it for myself.

And yet, I still feel that fear within the back of my head and center of my heart which says: 
it simply wont work. So why try?

But more and more lately I have been reading about so many people, and learning stories of others who faced this exact fear, and chose to ignore it. They told that fear:
why not? so what? who cares!

I have been taking an online class recently that is giving me more information. Information that is good, helpful, and useful. Information that could sit in my brain, in my notebook, and never be used if I so chose. Or information that could help me take the next step which is needed regardless of which way things turn once they get going. 

And then I think,
what if I just didn't do anything? Who would be hurt by that?

But maybe the question should be...
if I only touched one person's life, would it be worth it?

I already know the answer to that. I love being part of touching a person's heart and life. I'm simply still learning how to shut out the doubts and fears.

Comments

  1. Sounds to me like you should keep doing things like you just did for J&B S. It meets all the requirements you are desiring. And, it makes you happy.

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    Replies
    1. Definitely something I am considering.

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  2. Oh Stacey... so many thoughts, sometimes seemingly conflicting.

    1. You can do way more than you think you can. Don't let that fear rule you... you can at least try. :) The only people who for sure will never do great things are the people who never TRY to do great things. That's a given.

    2. You should read The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green. Sometimes, I think, we have specific, and weird, criteria for what "making a difference" means. And that we can make just as much difference by being small people doing small acts of kindness as we can being big people making grand heroic gestures.

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    1. I know. Sometimes I feel hypocritical in some crazy inane way. And thank you. I will look into that book. I read one last night that was amazing as well. I put it on my facebook page if you are interested. Very motivational and inspirational.

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  3. Doubts and fear are not of God. Don't let the enemy convince you that you can't. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.

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