The first chapter in Rules to Live By: 52 Principals for a Better Life was about thinking. The author spoke about how we think, whether it be analytically, creatively, or two other ways. As with other lessons, this one did not come alone. Through a fiction book I just finished, and a discussion with my mama I realized that for me it's not necessary to know how I think in such a manner. Rather, what's important for me is how I think in regards to someone or something.
The difference? I may be able to analyze a situation and see it for how I believe it is, but if I only focus on the negatives of that situation, that's all I will see. In the story I read a younger man was telling his car passenger about his parents, and began with a story as to how horrible they were. A little later in the drive the younger man told a fond story of his family. The passenger in the car asked him why he thought of the negative first. This idea struck me soundly, because I know why I do that.
I tell the negative story first to justify my anger towards someone. I remind myself of all the bad because I don't want anyone to get away with anything. Truth be told, as I have heard repeatedly many times, this is just a form of unforgiveness and it only hurts me.
If I start out with the positive does it make the negative go away? No. It does, however, change my focus. It helps me release some of that anger. Some of the hurt. But, can I say, this is NOT easily done. At least not this week. Not that anything special happened this week, I simply mean that while I received the lesson this week, I have not fully learned how to live it out.
I have known Philippians 4:8 since I was a little girl, but I never applied it to situations or people in my life. Everyone will disappoint you. Bad things will happen. But that does not mean that everything is all of a sudden negative. I guess that's the point behind the gratitude journals, and One Thousand Gifts. There is good everywhere and in everyone, and so to keep your eyes open for the gift that God brings in the hard times and through the hard people is what keeps us thankful in all things. It helps us see with different eyes. It helps us think about life differently.
So, as I move forward I hope to keep this lesson close to my heart. I'm going to work on how I think about people and situations. I'm going to remember that there is good if I choose to see it.
This has definitely been a topic for me for several months now. As I've veered more away from the negative and worked on positive memories, so much healing as begun. Who'dathunkit, right? :D This is how I'm trying to work my memoir now - more on the positives than anything. Obviously, not to sugarcoat my past, but to offer grace to everyone, myself included.
ReplyDeleteLove this post, is what I mean to say. :D