31 Days of Being Still:: Expectations

We wake up every morning with expectations of how the day will turn out. We have our plans, we have an agenda, and as we begin we work towards a certain end. When you meet a friend for lunch you still have expectations. You base what you think will happen on how things have transpired in the past. The length of the lunch, what was ordered, what was shared, how each behaved... what happened before will more than likely repeat. That's why blind dates can be so nerve wracking. You have to leave your expectations behind.

So, what were my expectations coming into this month? What did I think would happen after I spent time being still and quiet before God each morning? Maybe 6 days into this experiment is a little early to flush out the expectations, or maybe it's a little late.

I thought I would be able to focus on God without any problem.
I thought I would extend the time without even noticing.
I thought I would feel refreshed and amazing.
I thought it would make a difference in my day.
I thought I would be able to know something different.
I was scared there would be no difference.
I was scared I would hear nothing from God.
I was scared I would have nothing to say.
I was scared He might actually say something after all.

These expectations and fears have not gone away completely. They are still there under the surface as I talk myself into continuing the experiment and keeping the time of quiet in the morning. I have learned some things, however, in just 6 days. They possibly should have been things I knew already. Maybe I realized them anew?

I have trouble taking my thoughts captive.
I allow my mind to wander more than I realized.
I have a tendency to judge other people's choices.
I have a bit of an entitlement issue.
I both doubt and hope for the same things.

Hezekiah told the people of Judah not to respond to the enemies accusations. I feel a little bit as if I have been told the same thing. Keep on, don't defend or respond, keep your eye on Me. Maybe this is me leaving my expectations behind?


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