31 Days of Being Still: Attacker

I stopped in my tracks.

God is ever present. Oh, at first glance I see that as a help to me. A refuge. Our strength. It bolsters me and moves me forward. But at the second blow I realize the other side of the coin, as some say. He is ever present.

Sometimes I need to be still not because I am the defender, but because I am the attacker.

I have been wrong many times in my life. I have judged, attacked, and gossiped. While these struggles are ones that I have also actively fought against, I am weak. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, in the confusion of my mind, or the decision of the day I act in ways that I do not want to. I do things I will later be ashamed of. If I am like Paul in anyway, it is simply because I understand what he meant when he spoke of struggling with what he did and didn't want to do.

I do not dare to think that I could be better than Paul. I just wonder if I was still more often, how much grief would that save me? Save others?
  • when I grow angry
  • when I am about to condemn
  • when I want to judge
  • when I find gossip to pass on
  • when I want to exclude to be included
  • when I am the one others need refuge from
That's when I need to remember God is ever present and can be my strength. To still me. To hush me. To know that God is God and I am about to cross. that. line.

Sometimes I need to be still not to remember that God will protect me, but to remember that God will protect others from me. As sobering as that is, I need to be still, and maybe less protection will need to happen.

Comments

  1. I just found your 31 days. I love your honesty. I love your resolve to hang in there. God is ever present to hush me, to still me. I am going to start today which is really the 13th. Thank you.

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